To ask whether you’ve ever regretted a kind gesture?

[Rainbowb]

I offered to pick up a friend’s daughter after school three times a week when she got a new job. I then discovered the child liked to jump on furniture, trash bedrooms and eat me out of house and home! Was two terms before I had the guts to pull the plug on it! Was wondering if any of you guys had ever tried to do something kind and wish you hadn’t bothered?!

We paid for my step son & his wife & 2 kids to fly across the Atlantic to holiday with us, we paid for every single shop, every meal out, every outing, zip line etc...On the last day we had lunch out together, as we went to pay my DD who is on a much smaller salary than both him & his wife wanted to pay as a Thank you.
They took it completely in their stride , & None of them said thank you to her, or us for their 10 day holiday...

[quote Fooooooooood]@Rainbowandscarlett that’s the worse CF thing I’ve ever heard. Punching the dog! Did you report her for that? The sanpro thing is revolting.[/quote]
We did-the police where not that bothered
She’s a tiny scrap of a lass who is almost 19 but looks 11/12 (she’s about 5’ and a size 4/6)
She’s also very good at looking very innocent and can turn the tears on and off like a tap
My son in contrast is 6’ and built like a brick shithouse
I had to stop him from slapping her as he could have killed her
At least it’s on record I guess-We just couldn’t prove what we’d seen

@Mix56 hopefully you won’t invite them again?

Cadent hahaha
There's more, lots more !

All the time.

I think some people see it as their given right to be given stuff for free. Most people would be grateful (well, I like to think that "most people" would be the case) but some get one thing for free and then think that's their due entitlement for the rest of their lives.

We have a microcosm of this at the school canteen I volunteer in (in Australia) - I tell all the volunteers that NOTHING is for free, EVER, and no they must not put their hands in their own pockets if a small child is short of money or has none. The kids might be genuine, but several years' experience suggests that they're mostly just chancing their arm, and will not only come back again and again for free stuff, but will spread the message and bring their friends! Even the kindergarteners! The canteen is run by the P&C (PTA equivalent) and all money raised goes back to the school in some way or another, so they're robbing their own school by trying to get free stuff.

DD made a friend who lived close by but went to a different school. I became friendly with the mum and we did things together.
Her DD started spending every Sunday at my house. It wasnt a big deal but it was never ever reciprocated. It turned out she was also make her DH take her other child out so she could spend Sundays ‘relaxing’. The worst bit was she was between job contracts and had several months off, her DH has a stressful long-hours job.
Anyway my DH had an operation and got an infection and was seriously unwell in hospital. She still asked me if her DD was coming round this Sunday as she ‘needed a break’ I had to point out I was going to see DH in the hospital and we would be out. She looked annoyed.
The worst of it there was a few really bad days and whenever I asked her to take DD as DH was very unwell, she would say ‘oh we aren’t getting dressed today so we cant’.
As soon as DH got better she thought it would start up again. It hasn’t. The girls aren’t even good friends now as they have hardly seen each other. She is always trying to push them back to being friends as her DD is lonely, but my DD has lots of other friends (even with being the shy one of the two) and has moved on from her.

Sent a nice pressie to someone, the delivery driver let the pet out of the garden. I felt awful!

I’m seeing a lot of posters distressed because recipients of unsolicited gifts were not sufficiently grateful

A friend fell out with me for similar reasons. She passed on some of her DD books to me. I’d neither asked for them or if I’m honest particularly wanted them however they were handed over at a social event and it turns out that although I said thanks it wasn’t enough.

Looking back from her perspective these were books that her DD adored, she couldn’t have more DC and passed them on to my rainbow baby. I think she saw a lot of significance in that and wanted them to be as adored by me and my DD as they had been by her.

From my perspective I was suffering hugely with anxiety after the prem arrival of DC4, I wasn’t coping well at social events and definitely wasn’t in a place where I could make a fuss or be made a fuss of. I had 4 DC and a nursery and playroom stuffed full of things and whilst she perceived these books as cherished belongings for me they were just more items to house.

A mutual confirmed it was the books that sunk the relationship. Sad really.

Not sure this really a 'taking the pee' one but am a bit disappointed really.
Belong to a local community group and over the lockdowns we've run a few socially distanced events such as scavanger hunts etc so the kids have something to do.
We do this because we love our community and want to try and make things a bit more exciting for the local kids and residents as lets face it it's been pretty dull for everyone for the last year. Till this point we've funded them ourselves not asking for a penny.
These events have been well supported and on the whole seem to have been enjoyed.
It's just that trying to get people to engage in the first place is a bit like pulling teeth. At Xmas we put a call out to host a picture of one of 'santa's friends' in there front window, A4 sheet already printed out, just put it in their window for 2 hrs on chosen date - that was all.
Out of a very large mum's what's app group there was almost no offer of participation, which to my mind is really sad. Of those that did offer it was the same few who joined in at Halloween (much the same set up so kids got an excuse to dress up and get out).
Probably feel a little bit bruised just because we do put a lot into these events and do our best on next to no budget. We ask nothing in return other than a bit of community spirit in order to make them possible.
After all what else can you get for free nowadays?

Not really in the same league as others here but primary school fete about 3 years ago. Group of 4 mums volunteer to set up and run a stall selling drinks etc. One turns up after everyone else and promptly alters (ruins) all decorations as she prefers her own. Then insists on marking down the price of everything to ensure everyone can afford a drink. Well fine but seriously - she was charging 10p for cordial! Result was that the princely sum of £36 was raised. All agreed that they’d rather have just donated £9 each and spent the day enjoying themselves, or better still charged a bit more and raised some cash for the school.

Pre Covid I offerred to put a frail elderly ladys shopping onto the conveyor belt for her as she was struggling to do it herself. I was unpacking her trolley when a man appeared who turned out to be her son (he had nipped back into the aisles to get something).
She mumbled something to him and he started yelling at me for trying to "hurry her", called me a fucking nasty bitch and threatened to rearrange my face.
That was in Aldi. I stuck to Waitrose for months afterwards as I was actually scared to see him again.

Our 8 year old DS was invited to a school friend’s house for a couple of hours during the school holidays.The boy wasn’t one of DS’s inner circle of friends but he was happy enough to go to his house.
I picked DS up after 2 hours as arranged, and about 20 minutes after we arrived home the phone rang, it was the friend with whom he had just been playing with.He wanted to know if he could come over to play at our house the following day.
I thought it was a bit strange especially as my son wasn’t particularly eager to see him again.
I took the phone from DS and asked to speak with the boys parents.The child’s father just said “I’ll drop him off at 9am and pick him up at about 4.30pm” and put the phone down.
I was speechless at the cheek of him just presuming this was convenient, he was using me as an unpaid child minder enabling him to save his annual leave allowance.
I had to feed and entertain him all day.
As a friend of mine once said;
“If you find a mug put a handle on it”
For those younger readers it means
if you find someone foolish enough to be used to your advantage, hold on to them so you can do it over and over again!

@JohannaC

It sounds like she has sadly had a lot of women trying to chivvy her along and your genuine efforts to help were misconstrued

No it doesn’t. It sounds like her son was a violent abuser who required no excuse to behave like an absolute prick.

My best friend very suddenly split up with his wife. After finding out he'd been sleeping in his car for days, I begged DH to let him stay here until he found somewhere. He was on our sofa for nearly 5 months...... and hints about lending him a deposit etc fell on deaf ears. I just couldn't understand what was going on with him, until I found out by accident that he was having an affair with another mutual friend and I was the mug letting him live here rent free so he could be nearer to her. They were even using my bed for sex when I was at work

@Solomi

The aw book came back all ripped up and with a thousand creases...the look on my face must have said it all..she laughed and said I'm not that careful with other peoples things sorry

Translation: I’m a selfish, thoughtless bitch.

@Sunnydayshereatlast

Regularly paid for coffees /lunches for a skint friend... Until he bought a Mercedes convertible..

Sorry I have to ask are you still friends?!

One from my work.
Chap driving along a country lane one afternoon with his wife.
They come across a middle aged male cyclist sprawled in the road. Cut head, broken arm etc. They stop. Call am ambulance and police. Administer first aid, wait with him. Call his wife and so on. Several weeks later, he gets a letter from a firm of solicitors suggesting he had hit him with his car.
There was no suggestion of this by the police, indeed the police were certain he had just fallen off his bike.
It get sorted eventually but it took along while. And his NCB was suspended until the claim was withdrawn.

Gave someone the keys to my house. They helped themselves to my make up and hand cream, cereal etc thinking I wouldn't notice.

A good friend of mine asked me to car share the school run as her eldest dd was starting at my eldest’s high school. Dd wasn’t particularly enjoying the bus so I agreed.

She immediately said she’d prefer mornings so I got lumbered with the afternoon run permanently, rather than take it in turns. We still had younger dcs at the primary school too so we just swapped kids every morning.

My youngest has now started at high school, meaning that I no longer go to the primary school and I’ve been dropped like a hot brick. No explanation, nothing. I heard that she’d made arrangements with someone else. Presumably I’m no longer useful. So now I have to do the long high school run twice a day when I could have had them both on the bus.

I can only assume that I’ve done something to offend her as she hasn’t had the manners to tell me.

Clearly not the friend I thought she was. Would like to enjoy the moral high ground but am actually really hurt.

I like to think I am a kind person and that I am willing to do a lot for my friends, but I have unfortunately some abuse this. Offering to collect a friends child from school when she was busy one day then turned into an every day thing. She once asked me to get her because it was raining, and another time because she was tired.

I paid for my cousin to have a BBL
of course she never paid me back, actually she went on to steal a further 3k from me and tarnish my name in the family.

I lent money again to a so called best friend who had some money stolen from him, £900 he never paid back but didn't mind taking his gf on holiday to morocco then said I was unreasonable, he had a whole year now 3!

money never lend to anyone please. These two people I loved and had an amazing relationship with and they hurt me beyond words.