AIBU or is my neighbour?

[StrayDoll]

I live on a new build estate where the houses back onto a shared car park. Each house either has a garage and a designated parking space or 2 designated spaces with no garage. I have a garage and one space.

The car park also has a visitor space. In the last few months I've been using this visitor space whenever it's free as my partner has moved in with me and now uses my space (his vehicle is too big to fit in the visitor car port). If the visitor space is being used I use one of my neighbours spare spaces they don't use. This was suggested by them and I'm very grateful however I don't want to take liberties so use the visitor space as much as possible.

There are 8 other houses that share this car park and no one is bothered about me using this space apart from one neighbour. We have had issues in the past which means he is being petty and regularly takes the visitor space if it's free. He has 2 cars, one in the garage and one he keeps on his space. He doesn't need the visitors but does it to wind me up.

As an example I went out earlier for an hour and he jumped straight into the space. When I then went out again he had moved back to his space and luckily I got it back but it made me laugh how petty he was to take it.

AIBU to take it when 7 other households are not bothered and only one is?

Sorry, you are being unreasonable. It’s a visitors space, not a space permanently for houses that have too many cars. Where do visitors now park? I live in a new build estate and there is a neighbour with 2 spaces who always parks in the visitors bay as it is easier than car shuffling like the 20 other houses in the street. Just because people don’t necessarily say in your block doesn’t mean they are ok with it

I get that some people would have an issue with what I'm doing but how many of you would spend half your time looking out the window to see if I'm gone and then nab the space?!

How about someone who thinks what you are doing is selfish and wrong and annoying himself and others?
The solution is simple... stop parking in the visitor spot. Maybe they will too. If he doesn't stop then he's the knob and your neighbours will see that.
And yes the COVID situation will mean less demand for visitor spaces but that is temporary.

@StrayDoll

I get that some people would have an issue with what I'm doing but how many of you would spend half your time looking out the window to see if I'm gone and then nab the space?!

I think you're coming across as so concerned about his behaviour and "how he's in the wrong", that you are trying to justify your behaviour and what you've been doing wrong.

Keeping saying "But.. he's meaner..." isn't helping your case.

It's not just about family/friends visitors either is it? What about visiting NHS staff? It's selfish to regularly park all evening /day in the only visitor space.

The petty neighbour isn't the only one that isn't happy about this, they're being too (British) polite to tell you.

Why not Get your DP to offer to rent NDN's space if they are willing. Problem solved.

This is one of the key reasons I will never buy a new build/ nearly new build, CF parking issues are rife and they all have a 'reason'

It's hard to say where visitors park as I'm not always aware of them. If the visitors is free they use that. If not they often will find a space in the car park that's not an actual space but doesn't block anyone in e.g. you can park a car next to the visitors space without blocking anyone in or out.

You're obviously irritated when he uses that space. It gets your attentionbecause you have come to think of it as "yours." Therefore, you feel an uncomfortable loss of control and anxiety if he puts his car there. Now close your eyes and imagine how every other person in your building feels when they know that your partner is permanently parked in THEIR visitor space. It's not there when they need it. Sure, maybe they can use it. But they'd have to ask you. Just like you'd have to ask neighbor. They'd have to go knock on the door. And that's not very fun. Now think about itthat's what you're asking what, nine other people to do every day. All of you are paying for it. But you're acting as if you own it and they only get to use it in a genuine emergency or hardship. His actions are just a helpful reminder to you that your possessiveness of this shared space is something you need to detach yourself from.

StrayDoll

I really don't think anyone else has an issue. I spoke to a different neighbour today and said 'I've only been gone an hour' and looked at the car in the visitor space and he agreed it was terrible.

but your going to make certain some/all of the other neighbours look at him in a bad light and as an awkward person with your gossiping

Look at how the votes are going on here... 9 out of 10 think you're wrong. I'd put money that you have more than 1 neighbour pissed off with your parking.

@StrayDoll

I get that some people would have an issue with what I'm doing but how many of you would spend half your time looking out the window to see if I'm gone and then nab the space?!

I wouldn't because I'd be onto your LL and the management company about your absolute cheek. It's not your space. Your boyfriend is a total pisstaker and so are you, effectively taking 3 spaces so you can accommodate your boyfriend's two vehicles - and I'm agog that your alternate solution is that you park in the street, not your entitled boyfriend with a big van? How does your LL feel about your boyfriend moving in and taking up all the space he let to you, not him?

OP you have asked who is being unreasonable. Everyone has told you that you are!

Your selfish, entitled attitude trumps the pettiness of a (justifiably) pissed off neighbour in term of being unreasonable.

In the past, you have taken up FOUR parking spaces and THREE ona regualr day when you only have two. Why? Because you don't want to park on the road? Grow up.

You say you rent? Is your partner on the tenancy agreement? If not, why has he got two vehicles on your property? Get him to park his vehicles on the road.

So OP now that you know you're being unreasonable, stop deflecting by "oh but don't think my neighbour this" and "don't you think my neighbour that".. NO!

You need to sort yourself out and STOP PARKING IN THE VISITOR SPACE!

Stop harping on about your neighbour. YOU'RE the unreasonable one.

Clear?

My LL has no issues with my DP at all. I'm a good tenant. I have a professional job, non smoker, no pets etc and pay my rent on time. We've taken time recently to decorate the garden - repainting the fence at our own cost. We look after the place well. I don't think the LL will get involved in parking wars.

So what are you going to do to resolve the issue OP?

You keep ignoring the question why your DP won't move his vehicles?

Look at it another way... you and one neighbour have engaged in a parking war, the losers of course are the other neighbours whose visitors have nowhere to park. This never ends well and as a tenant, your position is not as strong as an owner-occupied. This won't end well.

@StrayDoll

My LL has no issues with my DP at all. I'm a good tenant. I have a professional job, non smoker, no pets etc and pay my rent on time. We've taken time recently to decorate the garden - repainting the fence at our own cost. We look after the place well. I don't think the LL will get involved in parking wars.

Yes, because you're so very special. He will get involved once the management company starts in, and if I were your neighbour, I'd never stop at reporting you to them because you're not entitled to use that space. Your boyfriend parks his tank in the street or rents a neighbour's space. Sorted.

@HardHatOptional

So what are you going to do to resolve the issue OP?

You keep ignoring the question why your DP won't move his vehicles?

Oh, he can't possibly be inconvenience wrt to this precious boy vehicles, and the OP just cannot park in the street!

Your LL will get involved when they get fed up of complaints from the neighbours/management company. Doesn't matter how nicely you keep the fences painted. No-one here is convinced of your entitlement

Ugh yes YABVU. You want 3 spaces to yourself and can’t arsed opening and closing the garage door. Get your head out of your arse 😂

Neighbours will often nod and smile to whatever you say, to keep the peace. How often do any of them initiate a conversation by complaining about that pesky neighbour's parking habits? There is a world of difference between "I bitched about X and my neighbour agreed" and "my neighbour thinks the main problem here is X".

The polite thing to do would be to use your garage for a car. Failing that, I think it would be much more polite to use one of your neighbours' spaces. De-escalate the battle over the visitor space and free it up for everyone again.

Oh and if you do use a neighbour's space, do be extra nice to them, offer to cut their lawn or do their bins or offer them use of the garage or something.

I think your basic problem is simple maths one. 3 vehicles into 2 spaces doesn't go.
You don't want your car out of sight and you don't want his bike in your garden so you'll take up a neighbours space or a visitors space to get what you want but you think your neighbour is the one BU?
How entitled can you get op?
And you can almost be certain your other neighbours think you're the issue

Stop concerning yourself with what your neighbour is doing, and stop stirring the other neighbours up.

I cannot add any more to what other posters have said. Your BF was the last one in and has two vehicles HE needs to house. You go back to using your own garage, that leaves him with one space for his bike or van and he can rent a spare space from one of the other occupiers.

Can you really bring see that you’re the problem OP?

YABU and entitled. Of course other neighbours aren’t going to say anything to you. Move the bike to the driveway or elsewhere.

Really not*

Tired. Sorry.

Absolutely 100% sure he's not the only neighbour who thinks you are a CF. And the way you keep deflecting the responses on here that yes, YABVVU with "what about the neighbour?" makes me think you can't really be this clueless and therefore you are just making things up to get a massive response from people giving advice. If you are not a troll take the advice and move on.

I and many of us on here might well be the neighbour speaking nicely to you to keep the peace, while secretly cheering the guy for showing you what a CF you are by moving his car into the visitors' space. You'd never guess.

Move out of the Vistor's space, or if you're just posting here to rile people up, jog on since your job is done?