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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is my neighbour?

334 replies

StrayDoll · 29/06/2020 00:57

I live on a new build estate where the houses back onto a shared car park. Each house either has a garage and a designated parking space or 2 designated spaces with no garage. I have a garage and one space.

The car park also has a visitor space. In the last few months I've been using this visitor space whenever it's free as my partner has moved in with me and now uses my space (his vehicle is too big to fit in the visitor car port). If the visitor space is being used I use one of my neighbours spare spaces they don't use. This was suggested by them and I'm very grateful however I don't want to take liberties so use the visitor space as much as possible.

There are 8 other houses that share this car park and no one is bothered about me using this space apart from one neighbour. We have had issues in the past which means he is being petty and regularly takes the visitor space if it's free. He has 2 cars, one in the garage and one he keeps on his space. He doesn't need the visitors but does it to wind me up.

As an example I went out earlier for an hour and he jumped straight into the space. When I then went out again he had moved back to his space and luckily I got it back but it made me laugh how petty he was to take it.

AIBU to take it when 7 other households are not bothered and only one is?

OP posts:
Jeremyironsnothing · 29/06/2020 01:53

I bet some of the others are privately moaning that you are always there, but want to keep the peace so say nothing to you.

Original poster
StrayDoll · 29/06/2020 01:53

Yes my neighbours were aware that me taking the visitors may cause issues. I'm very grateful to have a back up option.

OP posts:
thaegumathteth · 29/06/2020 01:55

Why not rent the space from your neighbour? Insist on paying.

Original poster
StrayDoll · 29/06/2020 01:58

I don't have many visitors! My mum visits but while DP is at work so can use my space. My parents did visit at the weekend and DP used my space, I was in the visitors and my parents used my neighbours. I know it sounds bad but my neighbour was happy to lend out the space.

OP posts:
pictish · 29/06/2020 02:01

Put the motorbike in the garden and suck it up. Obviously.

curiousmenow · 29/06/2020 02:04

The visitor space should remain empty always - UNLESS someone has an actual visitor who needs the space. Trouble is, if the neighbour now uses it - being petty or whatever- you don't have a leg to stand on if you genuinely have a friend who needs to use it,

Original poster
StrayDoll · 29/06/2020 02:05

I think I will have to look at renting my neighbours space.

Just to be clear I'm not aware of any neighbours having to move their cars to accommodate visitors. It is very rare that anyone here has visitors. Of course this may be largely due to lockdown atm!

OP posts:
Casino218 · 29/06/2020 02:05

So you've got 3 different vehicles and are using both your spaces ( garage and parking space) and the visitor space routinely. I'd be a bit added off too but secretly.

Euclid · 29/06/2020 02:07

Your partner is the selfish one here, not your neighbour. He has a car that is too large for the visitor space and he moves his motor bike into your garage, depriving you of its use. As a PP said, you are using three spaces. You have two spaces and your partner has deprived you of both. I am entirely on the neighbour's side. Why don't you get the selfish partner to pay a neighbour with no car for the use of their space? Why should other neighbours not have the visitor space for genuine visitors instead of a resident like you using it?

Ghostoast · 29/06/2020 02:10

You are the issue, fuck his bike off.

Original poster
StrayDoll · 29/06/2020 02:11

curiousmenow - that's part of my worry in that if I don't use it he will just to be petty. This neighbour has had issues with others in the past while I get on extremely well with the other neighbours. I'd like to think they get on with me well enough to raise an issue and know I'd move if the space was genuinely needed. The other neighbour by contrast wouldn't.

Maybe I should have mentioned it earlier but I rent while petty neighbour owns and I think that he thinks that gives him more right to the visitors than me.

OP posts:
FuckYouCorona · 29/06/2020 02:15

You are a total CF & so is your DP. Why can't he park his van on the road? His insistence on monopolising all your parking spaces & your selfish disregard for your neighbours visitors makes you the perfect CF pair. I don't believe you're really so dense that you can't see how selfish your behaviour is! Hmm

PawPawNoodle · 29/06/2020 02:16

My old neighbour had a bike and a car, he parked the bike at the front of the space horizontally and parked his car behind it.

I bet more of your neighbours have an issue but he's the only one letting you know about it.

Euclid · 29/06/2020 02:17

If you rent I am surprised that the "petty" neighbour has not complained to your landlord about your abuse of the visitors' space. Indeed, whether you rent or own, you could be reported to the management company if there is one.

Durgasarrow · 29/06/2020 02:18

You are being really selfish, taking up the visitor space all the time!! Your boyfriend is using your garage AND the visitor parking space?? The message your neighbor is giving you is that you should not be taking up that space permanently. That is for visitors, not for one person to hog full time. Just stop it!

Fattyboom · 29/06/2020 02:21

Maybe I should have mentioned it earlier but I rent while petty neighbour owns and I think that he thinks that gives him more right to the visitors than me.

No, sorry this isn't a rent v own situation, you are a total CF and any of your neighbours (regardless if ownership status) have every right to be totally pissed off with you and DP

PerspicaciaTick · 29/06/2020 02:24

Neither of you have any right to the visitor's space.

WanderleyWagon · 29/06/2020 02:28

I had exactly this issue in my last flat - everybody had a garage or a parking space and there was one visitor space.

When someone regularly parks an extra vehicle over and above what they have space for, it's noticed, and it rankles. I'm with the PP who thought that more people than you think are probably irritated by your using garage + your space + visitor space.
Your suggestion of properly renting one of the other spaces sounds like a decent solution to me, if someone else is willing to rent one out.

ivykaty44 · 29/06/2020 02:30

Petty neighbor is actually petty - they treat you as they find you, as do over 90% on here

Try changing your entitled attitude and realising that 90% of your neighbors are also of the same opinion as those on here but what can they do? You take the piss

Londongirl888 · 29/06/2020 02:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HisNibs · 29/06/2020 02:34

How about getting a bike storage unit and putting it in your garden and keeping the bike in that. Problem solved.
Your neighbour is being petty but also possibly trying to make a point to you. You have 3 vehicles but space for only 2 and because you don't like your vehicle out of sight on the road, you feel you are entitled to have the visitors spot? It possibly does bug your other neighbours but perhaps they prefer a quiet life and don't want to make a mountain out of a mole hill? Your attitude seems to be that of someone who will push the boundaries until someone stands up and says enough. That's what a CF is. Your partner has a van that won't go in your garage... not your neighbours problem. Have more vehicles than spaces... not your neighbours problem.

Original poster
StrayDoll · 29/06/2020 02:34

I get that some people would have an issue with what I'm doing but how many of you would spend half your time looking out the window to see if I'm gone and then nab the space?!

OP posts:
curiousmenow · 29/06/2020 02:36

curiousmenow - that's part of my worry in that if I don't use it he will just to be petty.

But my point is that worry is of your own making and you are just being hypocritical.

Perhaps you could have an adult conversation where you apologise and agree that from now on neither of your cars need ever use visitor space?

Durgasarrow · 29/06/2020 02:37

Basically, your neighbor was polite enough to show you through silent actions that he did not think it was fair for you to monopolize the visitor's space (which should be empty most of the time, except when there are real, you know, visitors) instead of giving you a rude lecture to your face. No doubt the rest of the neighbors agree with him. Why wouldn't they? You should probably bake him some muffins and write him a letter of apology.

HighlandPeach · 29/06/2020 02:39

You’re being selfish. Your partner isn’t a visitor and you shouldn’t be in the visitor space in lieu of him. He needs to find somewhere else for his motorbike and you need to start to use your garage