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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is my neighbour?

334 replies

StrayDoll · 29/06/2020 00:57

I live on a new build estate where the houses back onto a shared car park. Each house either has a garage and a designated parking space or 2 designated spaces with no garage. I have a garage and one space.

The car park also has a visitor space. In the last few months I've been using this visitor space whenever it's free as my partner has moved in with me and now uses my space (his vehicle is too big to fit in the visitor car port). If the visitor space is being used I use one of my neighbours spare spaces they don't use. This was suggested by them and I'm very grateful however I don't want to take liberties so use the visitor space as much as possible.

There are 8 other houses that share this car park and no one is bothered about me using this space apart from one neighbour. We have had issues in the past which means he is being petty and regularly takes the visitor space if it's free. He has 2 cars, one in the garage and one he keeps on his space. He doesn't need the visitors but does it to wind me up.

As an example I went out earlier for an hour and he jumped straight into the space. When I then went out again he had moved back to his space and luckily I got it back but it made me laugh how petty he was to take it.

AIBU to take it when 7 other households are not bothered and only one is?

OP posts:
Courtney555 · 29/06/2020 10:56

To clarify, from your OP....petty neighbour has two cars, one in his garage, then parks in the visitor space leaving his own space vacant?

PrayingandHoping · 29/06/2020 10:57

You need to give notice on your house and rent one with enough parking

You are being v unreasonable and good for that neighbour for standing up and taking action!

elessar · 29/06/2020 11:05

I'm glad to hear you accept you are being unreasonable and hope you will now stop your behaviour.

Your 'petty' neighbour is likely to stop parking in the visitor spot once you stop parking in it regularly, so I would not be concerned about that. He's clearly only doing it to prove a point. A faster solution would be to go over there and apologise, and say you won't do it anymore.

It's fine to have as many vehicles as you like really, but any inconvenience caused as a result should be yours, not your neighbours. One of my neighbours has 6 cars and parks them all in our residents parking (which has enough space for 2 cars per household). As a result other people are fairly regularly blocked in, or have to park further away, or on verges etc. It's just inconsiderate and unneighbourly.

LockdownMayhem · 29/06/2020 11:07

@MissTracey

My Dad rents in a similar situation where there is a car park but there is garages. Now it’s known that everyone should put their cars in the garages if they have one. My Dad sticks his on the car park as it’s closer (he has issues with his knees) but if he has visitors he moves it so the visitor can have the spot.

If I've understood this right, it sounds like your dad is a bit cheeky too - basically if HE has visitors he moves his car to his garage, but I assume he wouldn't know if any of his neighbours had visitors, so they wouldn't be able to park because he's taking up the space?

Sarahlou63 · 29/06/2020 11:10

You're trying every which way to explain why you need three spaces. Won't work.

BashandSparrow · 29/06/2020 11:11

It’s people like you that really annoy me. There is someone who hogs the visitors spot in my sister’s residential car park. She is far too polite and good natured to say anything as she is very non-confrontational (like most people I know). She doesn’t approve but wants a quiet life. But when someone does say/do something, they are presented by the entitled person as being unreasonable and petty. It causes arguments when there is no neee to.

Just think of it from a neutral point of view (for example me trying to park up to visit my sister). It means that any visitors to that area have to park half a mile down the road, on a busy street. It’s very difficult on you when you have two under twos to bring in, or drop off your elderly grandparent who cannot physically walk from where you will have to park. Even when I go on my own I’m always hauling bags with me as I will bring lunch, snacks and treats for the children. This is the same for any of my family or my sister’s friends who want to visit. It’s the same for all the other households who use the car park.

You are taking a liberty by constantly hogging the visitors space. You need to have a word with your partner and discuss your possibilities. You either tell him to get rid of the bike until he can find somewhere appropriate to store it or you put it in the garden and make sure you cover it up. I appreciate that he wants a second vehicle so he’s not driving around in his work van during leisure time but he’s not entitled to that luxury when there’s clearly no space to store it and it means you’re having to take liberties with your neighbours.

Whilst this neighbour is being petty he has a right to object to your use to constantly hogging the visitors space. He might want to confront you but isn’t brave enough and so is acting in a passive aggressive manner. His opinion does matter and you should respect him. There may come a time when you need him or need him onside for something.

Ellmau · 29/06/2020 11:16

Neither of you should be using it.

Rowan8 · 29/06/2020 11:18

Yes @ProfessorSlocombe

You’ve made that up, OP household has 1 car, 1 bike and 1 work van.

WillowKnicks · 29/06/2020 11:18

Have you thought about offering rent to the neighbour that doesn't mind your parking in their spot? That way you'll feel more comfortable parking there & not look like you're taking the piss.

Also, it doesn't matter if all the other neighbours are ok with you parking in the visitor spot, one of them isn't & his opinion is as valid as everyone else's.

ProfessorSlocombe · 29/06/2020 11:22

@Rowan8

Yes *@ProfessorSlocombe*

You’ve made that up, OP household has 1 car, 1 bike and 1 work van.

Ah, speed read fail.

As you were Smile

contrmary · 29/06/2020 11:23

I think the OP's position is fine, just as long as she won't complain if she comes home to find a visitor has parked their car in her actual reserved space.

NikeDeLaSwoosh · 29/06/2020 11:24

@TheBouquets

What stands out for me is that you got a house and then the DP moved in. I presume this means that the house is yours. If that is the case why does DP get to use the driveway and the garage at YOUR house and you are at the mercy of the "petty neighbour". Maybe the neighbour thinks the same as me and is weirdly trying to give you a hint. Get the motorbike a cover and park it in the garden somewhere and stay out of the other neighbour's space and the visitors' space. Then look at why you are allowing your DP to take all the parking at your house.
This.

YABU for allowing a partner to create issues between you and your neighbours.

A decent partner wouldn't have put you in this position in the first place and then let you deal with the fallout.

NikeDeLaSwoosh · 29/06/2020 11:29

...I also agree with pp that YABU for assuming that 'nobody calling you out on your conduct' = 'everybody being perfectly ok with it'

There is a large spectrum of annoyance between these points and I guarantee you that the majority of your neighbours think you are a CF, but have yet to reach the tipping g point where they will actually tell you to your face.

Most people dislike confrontation and will instead seethe quietly while being polite to your face - you cannot take their silence as enthusiastic support. That's not how it is.

chocolatemademefat · 29/06/2020 11:38

I don’t understand why you’re on here asking if you’re unreasonable. What you are is selfish and entitled. One of your neighbours is letting you know this but you’re quite happy to see it as his problem. Your property comes with a garage and a space - you’re not entitled to make full use of the visitors space - it’s for visitors.

Time to grow up and consider other people. The world doesn’t revolve around you - as for not wanting to mess up your garden - stop being a princess and use only what you’re entitled to.

makingmammaries · 29/06/2020 11:40

There seems to be a spate of threads just now from people who want to have more stuff than they can accommodate and think their neighbours should put up with it because they’re so special. Like the hot tub/range rover/outdoor bar thread yesterday.

BruceAndNosh · 29/06/2020 11:46

I'm surprised the OP hasn't claimed this is a reverse yet.

RueRue · 29/06/2020 11:51

We have this where I live and it drives me crazy. You won't know if people have a problem because not everyone will be vocal about it. I wouldnt complain if someone took the space but it would be incredibly inconvenient if I had a visitor and the space was taken by you. If you park there presumably it's never free when you're home? Visitors often aren't planned or as a PP mentioned could be decorators, builders etc

BurtsBeesKnees · 29/06/2020 11:55

A visitors parking space is for visitors, not an overflow car park for residents who have too many cars.

Put your bf motorbike in the garden or a shed in the garden.

YABVU. I'd be annoyed if I was your neighbour too.

Hingeandbracket · 29/06/2020 12:03

@PatriciaPerch

I've often wondered whether the small car parks on these new build estates cause arguments, it seems they do. They don't build the houses far enough apart with enough personal space do they?
No they don't - around here it's part of a ridiculous "planning" system that allows 3000 houses to be built in area with almost no bus and no train service, but restricts parking to "encourage" people to use the non-existent public transport.

It never works of course - hence parking wars and more congestion.

MissTracey · 29/06/2020 12:05

[quote LockdownMayhem]**@MissTracey

My Dad rents in a similar situation where there is a car park but there is garages. Now it’s known that everyone should put their cars in the garages if they have one. My Dad sticks his on the car park as it’s closer (he has issues with his knees) but if he has visitors he moves it so the visitor can have the spot.

If I've understood this right, it sounds like your dad is a bit cheeky too - basically if HE has visitors he moves his car to his garage, but I assume he wouldn't know if any of his neighbours had visitors, so they wouldn't be able to park because he's taking up the space?[/quote]
Each resident has a space on the car pack and a garage. If my Dad has visitors he will move his car and put it on the road and the visitor will get my Dad’s car park spot. My Dad doesn’t use the garage as further than the street.

TimeWastingButFun · 29/06/2020 12:07

I don't think any residents should be parking in it for hours on end - it's meant to be for visitors.

GreyShadow · 29/06/2020 12:09

FFS the OP has agreed that she is being unreasonable!

ExchangedCat · 29/06/2020 12:09

To clarify, from your OP....petty neighbour has two cars, one in his garage, then parks in the visitor space leaving his own space vacant?

I'm wondering if he does this when he has visitors due, to guarantee they have somewhere to park? If I knew OP would be in the visitor's bay otherwise, I think I'd be tempted to do the same.

I'm not convinced petty neighbour is actually petty at all...

CatkinToadflax · 29/06/2020 12:12

This reminds me of the new build estate where we lived a few years ago. Each house/flat only had one parking space. One family had two cars and a mahoosive van, another had two cars and a bloody great breakdown truck (yes really), and then there was the lunatic neighbour who was either lurking at her kitchen window or sitting on a bench outside her flat at all times, to frogmarch away anyone who dared to park in a visitor space or park on the extremely narrow road. Those were fun times. We moved out. Hmm

RincewindsHat · 29/06/2020 12:14

So you don't know if there are covenants governing use of the visitor spaces because you haven't seen them or bothered asking I assume? I live in a similar situation and used to have a neighbour who permanently parked his work van in one of the visitor spaces, meaning actual visitors could never park there (CF even went on holiday for 2 weeks, leaving his van in a visitor space and his own allocated space empty). It is annoying to be frank, especially if you can park in an allocated space which is never used. And there probably are covenants governing visitor spaces, eg, not to be used for longer than x hours. It's up to you to ensure you have enough spaces to park in without inconveniencing your neighbours, esp when every house has allocated spaces for that purpose. Put the bike in the garden and one car in the garage and stop blocking up visitor spaces.