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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is my neighbour?

334 replies

StrayDoll · 29/06/2020 00:57

I live on a new build estate where the houses back onto a shared car park. Each house either has a garage and a designated parking space or 2 designated spaces with no garage. I have a garage and one space.

The car park also has a visitor space. In the last few months I've been using this visitor space whenever it's free as my partner has moved in with me and now uses my space (his vehicle is too big to fit in the visitor car port). If the visitor space is being used I use one of my neighbours spare spaces they don't use. This was suggested by them and I'm very grateful however I don't want to take liberties so use the visitor space as much as possible.

There are 8 other houses that share this car park and no one is bothered about me using this space apart from one neighbour. We have had issues in the past which means he is being petty and regularly takes the visitor space if it's free. He has 2 cars, one in the garage and one he keeps on his space. He doesn't need the visitors but does it to wind me up.

As an example I went out earlier for an hour and he jumped straight into the space. When I then went out again he had moved back to his space and luckily I got it back but it made me laugh how petty he was to take it.

AIBU to take it when 7 other households are not bothered and only one is?

OP posts:
WitchQueenofDarkness · 29/06/2020 10:00

I have taken comments on board. It's just frustrating when nobody else apart from one has an issue. If everyone felt the same I'd feel different.

How do you know they don't have an issue? They are probably just as annoyed as your "petty neighbour* but just haven't said anything.

I hate visiting friends on new build estates as the visitor spaces are always filled by people like you leaving visitors nowhere to park safely

Nottherealslimshady · 29/06/2020 10:04

The visitor space is for visitors. You using it as your own means that peoples visitors cant use it. it's a communal resource and you're using more than your fair share. Your partner needs fo find space on your own property go keep his motorbike so you can use your garage for your car and stop using other peoples property.

Original poster
StrayDoll · 29/06/2020 10:21

Lots of replies! I have taken everything on board and understand I'm in the wrong.

Just to clear a few things up - I rented the house before my partner moved in and it was more than adequate for my one car then and I love the house and where I live so am not keen on moving.

My partner has a motorbike and a work van. I don't think it's unreasonable to have a vehicle of your own besides a work one. I know it's our issue to sort where to put them all now though. Also the van doesn't block anyone's view so no issues with that.

I don't use the space next to the visitors as another neighbour has taken that unofficially as their space and doesn't take kindly to people parking there. He works during the day though so visitors can park there if he's out.

OP posts:
Davodia · 29/06/2020 10:25

I don't think it's unreasonable to have a vehicle of your own besides a work one
It’s not. But you need to find somewhere to park it, either on your own private property or on public property. Not in a space that’s co-owned by your neighbours which they need to be able to use.

Shamoo · 29/06/2020 10:29

Yeah you are definitely being V unreasonable. If I was a neighbour I would be soooo annoyed with you.

CandidaAlbicans2 · 29/06/2020 10:29

Try and ignore what petty neighbour is doing because he's doing it to wind you up (and it's working) and to prove a point. You can't control his behaviour only your reaction to it. Never park in the visitor's space as it's unfair and neighbours won't like it, even if they don't say anything (most people won't and will silently seethe instead). Yes it's a pain, but you have to work out what's the best way of dealing with the 3 vehicle and 2 spaces situation without using the visitor space. Either move the motorbike into the garden (perhaps get a nice cover and screen to hide it?) and park your car in the garage, or one of you park in the road.

Borisplums · 29/06/2020 10:29

they might complain to your landlord / letting agent eventually.

CambsAlways · 29/06/2020 10:31

Visitors space is just that, so you have three spaces, I think that’s unreasonable, this motorbike should come out of the garage and into your small back garden, your vehicle in garage

PatriciaPerch · 29/06/2020 10:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

f0stercarer · 29/06/2020 10:33

ok its really very simple. The space is for visitors. You do not fit this description. Park somewhere else.

GnomeDePlume · 29/06/2020 10:33

The reason other people aren't saying anything may be because they don't want a neighbourhood issue which then has to be declared on sale.

EL8888 · 29/06/2020 10:36

YABU. There is a strong CF vibe of wanting to use a visitors space, you aren’t a visitor and already have 2 spaces

If the 3 vehicles are too much to store, then maybe 1 needs to go?

heartsonacake · 29/06/2020 10:37

My partner has a motorbike and a work van. I don't think it's unreasonable to have a vehicle of your own besides a work one.

It’s not, but it is unreasonable to not want to put it in your garden because you think it’s unsightly.

It doesn’t matter if you are model tenants in every other way, if you are causing a parking issue (and it’s possible other neighbours have complained, just not to your face), your landlord will need to get involved to sort it out.

ptumbi · 29/06/2020 10:39

Your dp moved in with you so it's his responsibility to ensure that his vehicles are parked safely and considerately. If that means he has to leave the bike or van somewhere else, it's on him.

HE is the one who is forcing this issue. And having an entire car-sized garage for his bike is ludicrous. If he wants 2 vehicles, he needs to find secure parking for them. Not you. And Not your neighbours.

Glitterb · 29/06/2020 10:40

Sorry OP, I live in a new build estate which has a similar parking situation to how you describe. You are not entitled to park in the visiting spot as you have too many vehicles. I would suggest looking at moving to a property which has better parking. Why can’t your partner park is van on the street? Like another poster says, the neighbour could ring the letter agent and complain, we have had to do it a few times due to parking wars with rented houses in my square.

lightyearsahead · 29/06/2020 10:43

YABU, a visitor space is exactly that for a visitor not to be used permanently. This would annoy me you are taking advantage
You have 3 vehicles and 2 parking spaces, you either need to pay for an additional garage somewhere or get rid of a vehicles.

Borisplums · 29/06/2020 10:46

@StrayDoll has your partner been added to the tenancy agreement?

MadameMeursault · 29/06/2020 10:48

YABVU and very entitled. Why should you hog the visitors space the whole time?

ChikiTIKI · 29/06/2020 10:49

Could the motorbike be stored inside the work van?

Borisplums · 29/06/2020 10:49

Sorry just seen that you answered my 2 most recent queries already! Blush sorry

BadBear · 29/06/2020 10:54

You don't have three spaces, everything else is absolutely irrelevant. Just get over it.

ProfessorSlocombe · 29/06/2020 10:54

My partner has a motorbike and a work van. I don't think it's unreasonable to have a vehicle of your own besides a work one. I know it's our issue to sort where to put them all now though. Also the van doesn't block anyone's view so no issues with that.

hang on ...

So there's:

a van,
a motorbike,

and two cars

needing fitting in around your place ?

So four, not 3 spaces ?

Or did I make that up ?

AnnaBanana333 · 29/06/2020 10:55

So often in AIBU I wonder how the villain of the piece can be so selfish and lacking in self-awareness. It's fascinating to see a thread from the perspective of the self-involved dick and see how their minds work. They're ENTITLED to have as many vehicles as they want and ENTITLED to use whatever resources they feel like, and don't think for a minute about the impact on others.

Fascinating.

comingintomyown · 29/06/2020 10:55

As has been asked numerous times why can’t the van be parked on the road ?

Sarahlou252 · 29/06/2020 10:56

I would find an alternative to enable you to use your garage and your space only, and leave the visitor space for visitors.
Yes your neighbour is being petty but I can see why he would be irritated at this. I used to live opposite a turning circle that my neighbour used to park in so he was able to leave his driveway free. It didnt affect us, but it was highly irritating. If you can remove the issue it wont be a playing on your mind either and you can forget it and move on.

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