My mum upsets me on my birthday every year

[Imrubbishatuserables]

so I know this year is different and we are at home.. but we have been sat around all day doing nothing. I don't feel special. Yes I am 31 and a single mum but every year she makes out like I'm being a dick! I cooked breakfast for everyone this morning. (My mum, step dad, my son, my sister & her partner & me) so we were just sat in the living room. They were looking at old photos in the other room. I don't want to look at on my birthday cos they have my nan and grandad in who are not with us anymore and only yesterday she told me my nans sister in law passed away the other week.. (couldn't go to funeral anyway because of lockdown) so they upset me. Then the football went on in the living room so I said I was having half hour to myself in the bedroom upstairs and she starts stirring shut with the family saying I'm being stroppy. When I wasn't. I just didn't want to listen to the football. I don't live with them.. I live on my own but 20 mins away and I don't drive. Last year we were away and got told that we had to go back to the hotel instead of staying out for dinner and drinks. The year before I stayed away from the family and spent the day doing what I wanted on my own. As it makes me happier

Why don’t you just go home? I would.

Yes, just go home and celebrate your birthday the way you want in future.

Happy Birthday!

Go home.
You already know it's going to be shit.
Much better to be in your own home with your child.

Happy Birthday.

However, you do sound rather childish. You're 31 not 13.

I would say stop bothering with them on your birthday. I have no problem with adults celebrating their birthdays but you are passively waiting for them to change and do something against character. It isn't really their responsibility. Plan something you want to do next year.

Yeah I wouldn't want to spend my birthday with football fans either

Just say you have plans

It doesn’t sound like a great birthday, why are you cooking breakfast for everyone else on your bday? Seems a bit unfair.
I think you should start being firmer about how you spend it, next year do what you choose rather than what’s expected.

Happy Birthday!
I'd go home too armed with sweets, drinks and netflix.

You just need to take control if they are always a bit crap. Did they get you cards and presents? Do you make an effort for their birthdays?
Why did you go round and then make everyone breakfast when you don’t even live there? Why not just ask “who’s going to make my birthday breakfast then?”. And then tell everyone you’d like to go for a picnic or whatever it is you want to do (and can in current circumstances).

Don’t keep putting yourself in that situation, and next year, tell them you’re making your own plans with friends, or just you and DC, because they don’t make any effort when you spend it with them.

FFS you are 31 stop looking at others to affirm your happiness. You knew your mum would be like this and yet you still put yourself in that situation. Go home either spend the rest of the evening watching a great movie and having a glass of something you like or call/zoom/FaceTime someone who will have a laugh with you. BTW happy birthday

You actually went and sat in a bedroom that isn't yours, in a house you don't live in, rather than go home? That's kinda ridiculous and I can see why people thought you were having a tantrum.

Go home.

Not everyone makes a big thing of birthdays, your family isn't unusual in that. There's no point in you hanging about there, sulking.

I'm 33 so only a 2 years old but you sound immature just go home.

I’m confused as to why you are all in the same house. Are you not in the UK?

do you need them to drive you home? Don't spend your birthday with them if it makes you unhappy

Although you shouldn't all be in the 1 house indoors if you don't live together anyway

I don’t think she can go home because she can’t drive and would have to get them to drive her??!! Happy birthday sorry it’s rubbish just note to self to do something on your own next year!!

You're 31. Go and have a nice lock down birthday on your own. They sound like ignorant swine, so stop looking to them for providing your joy and happiness.

Go home then? Issue solved.

They sound horrible, happy birthday

You actually went and sat in a bedroom that isn't yours, in a house you don't live in, rather than go home? That's kinda ridiculous and I can see why people thought you were having a tantrum.

This ^

Nor do I understand, why you would go round to someone else's house, to cook them all breakfast

Nor do I undertand why, at 31, you are looking for them to create some special niceness for your birthday. (Not this year of course, but usually) why do you spend it with them, if you feel your Mum spoils it each year ?

So, yes, YABU to not take charge of celebrating your birthday the way you would like to.

If she cant drive she might be reliant on one of them to give her a lift home

Do I smell burning martyr?

Did they ask you to cook the breakfast? Did they promise you a party?

As others have said, I’m sorry your family are a bit rubbish and disappointing on your birthday, but as an adult and a parent just do what pleases you. Have a good evening xx

Get a taxi home and ask the driver to stop at the off licence on the way. Bottle of wine, some chocolates, something good on TV. That's what you need. Happy birthday!

I don’t understand why you would go round to someone else home on your birthday and cook for everyone. Did you offer or did they ask/expect?
If your nan’s sister has just passed away it is nice looking through old photos when you are all together- which surely hasn’t been for at least 3 months.

Going and sitting upstairs in a bedroom for half an hour because football was on was throwing a tantrum. I’m not suprised your mum commented.
If your family don’t celebrate your birthday the way you would like don’t spend it with them? Go home.