My mum upsets me on my birthday every year

[Imrubbishatuserables]

so I know this year is different and we are at home.. but we have been sat around all day doing nothing. I don't feel special. Yes I am 31 and a single mum but every year she makes out like I'm being a dick! I cooked breakfast for everyone this morning. (My mum, step dad, my son, my sister & her partner & me) so we were just sat in the living room. They were looking at old photos in the other room. I don't want to look at on my birthday cos they have my nan and grandad in who are not with us anymore and only yesterday she told me my nans sister in law passed away the other week.. (couldn't go to funeral anyway because of lockdown) so they upset me. Then the football went on in the living room so I said I was having half hour to myself in the bedroom upstairs and she starts stirring shut with the family saying I'm being stroppy. When I wasn't. I just didn't want to listen to the football. I don't live with them.. I live on my own but 20 mins away and I don't drive. Last year we were away and got told that we had to go back to the hotel instead of staying out for dinner and drinks. The year before I stayed away from the family and spent the day doing what I wanted on my own. As it makes me happier

Some of you Dobermans could at least read the thread. Or apologise when you realised you'd missed something, as I did.

[quote gobbynorthernbird]@1Morewineplease OP says she doesn't live with them and can't go home as it's 20 minutes away and she doesn't drive.[/quote]
Just re read... apologies.

With the greatest of respect, your 31, not 13 - why are you letting them dictate how you live your life?

Happy birthday lovely
It is ok to feel disappointed - everyone deserves to feel special on their birthday.

Next Saturday plan your real birthday - what ever you can afford to do during this difficult time

A special take away with your son - put him in the buggy - find some where nice to walk and have a coffee and a cake.

I know this is AIBU but negative comments only makes a person feel worse about themselves and feeds lack of self esteem - not a good cycle

Suggestions can always be framed positively

Have a look at some u tube videos or get some books on making yourself happy.
I like Paul Mc Kenna - I Can Change your Life
Byron Katie is good too

Things to boost your self esteem

@Hopeisnotastrategy

Some of you Dobermans could at least read the thread. Or apologise when you realised you'd missed something, as I did.

Yes, I mis-understood like others and I have apologised. Some people find it hard to follow a person’s words ... maybe because the person’s words we’re mis- leading or just , hard to follow , as posters often type from the heart , without thinking because they’re desperate. Sometimes a follower just got the wrong end of the stick as it’s difficult to really understand a problem when it’s not face to face and you’re not able to see the nuances. It doesn’t mean that posters , who have misunderstood are dogs .

Were not we’re

Adults are entitled to celebrate their birthdays despite some people here on MN thinking its childish. However OP why go if you knew what it would be like?

You were being stroppy op. In your parents house visiting- didnt want to look at photos, didnt want football on telly then made an announcement that you were going upstairs. Stay home next year

Happy Birthday. Next year plan what you want and do not include anyone who makes you unhappy.

Wanting to not look at old photos or watch football is not stroppy at all. They should have planned something nice for you or at least consulted you. XXXXX

I don't think you can expect people not to look at old photos because it's your birthday. Especially when they're in their own house.
Most people find it nice to reminisce over old photos. And in my family, we're more likely to do that on birthdays and at Christmas because it's a time for looking back affectionately at past happy times. I wouldn't expect anyone to get upset over it, so I don't expect it occurred to them that you would.
Did you tell them, in a mature way, that actually you'd rather not?

from now on avoid your family on your birthday and enjoy your day

LTB

'20minutes away' could be by walking though - OP hasn't said.

@Imrubbishatuserables - will you come and answer some of the questions ? Like why you walked / were collected / got a bus or a taxi to your parents house, then then you cooked a big breakfast for them all ?

OP has form for disappearing...