To keep my daughter of nursery to hide black eye

[mummywoes]

Name changed for this.
My 2 year old hit her cheek on the side of the fire place yesterday after getting hyper and running around with her sister and has a cut on her cheekbone with a bruise all along the bottom of her eye. I'm really worried about sending her to nursery in case they think we've abused her and call social services.
Should I keep her off until it's better? I don't want to risk her being taken away if they don't believe us.

In fact, it would be more concerning if you kept him off and then somebody saw him. If you see what I mean.

Glad you've decided to let your daughter go in to nursery ~ my little granddaughter is very clumsy , almost trips over fresh air ! The number of times my daughter has had to tell her childminder about various bruises/cut knees etc. are numerous , and there's never been a problem , the childminder has seen it for herself when she's with her !

A&E 6 times in 18 months!?

Let her go. It will be fine.

My oldest had pretty much permanently at least one black eye between 9 months (very adventurous crawler/climber) and 5 years. He has a black eye on his reception school photo and a split lip on his year 1 photo.
Nobody ever raised any suspicions - he’s very, very energetic and half of the stuff happened at childcare/school anyway. Don’t try to hide it though - that is suspicious

You're not the only one op, we've all been there. It's impossible to keep them from hurting themselves, it's just part of this stage. No harm done

@BudgieHammockBananaSmuggler 6 times in 18 months is perfectly possible. My adventure loving 3 year old has balance and coordination issues. I can't wrap him up in cotton wool but he is a liability even in an empty room

Send her in and fill in a home accident form; these things happen! Our youngest is a danger magnet and fractured a bone after falling from a coffee table she had clambered onto at lightening speed a few weeks back. We had to take her to A&E who did a referral to either public health or SS and it was covered in a straightforward call where I was asked questions about it and they asked if we needed any support. Nursery questioned it too and I explained all the details; they filled in a home accident form. It’s good procedure and I felt reassured that this happens. It would be a far worse worse without these follow ups and it’s good to know kids don’t go hurt with no questions asked. Don’t worry! X

Although it is awful when children hurt themselves, it is a normal part of growing up and learning. Imagine a child growing up without ever getting bruised or bumped! My dd bruises really easily, and i often had to explain injuries when I took her to nursery.

We had to keep our ds who was 3 at the time from starting at nursery as he managed to break his leg falling off a chair. We let the nursery know what had happened and they were fine. No reports made and no visits from SS. Accidents happen.

Send her in and just explain...

When DS was 4ish he went to school three Mondays in a row with new bruises (which did look bad especially as twice he said it was 'Daddy's fault')

Wk1 They had been playing wrestling and DS bumped his cheek on wooden part of bed

Wk2 He was playing tag, fell over a toy and bumped his head

Wk3 Similar playing with his Dad again taking turns chasing each other and he tripped and bumped his chin

Luckily he had been in nursery and school since being 6 months and they had to take him to hospital twice themselves as well so knew he was prone to it...
He tripped on edge of sandpit and cut his head open
Fell getting off a trike
Oh and I missed where he tried eating play dough...

Luckily by age 5 he seemed to stop his frequent injuries

I work in a nursery, yes we would need to ask what happened and get you to fill in a form but to be honest that isn’t the kind of injury that would ring alarm bells (if one of the parents had a black eye we might be more concerned about what could be going on at home). The kind of injuries we would worry about the most on children tend to be hidden under clothes.

Yep A&E 6 times in 18 months! I have got two other children who have never attended A&E ever, but this boy is a daredevil and I can't wrap him up in cotton wool. In fairness, one of the times was for a viral thing where his temperature got very low (odd) but the other five were (non serious) injuries. Some children are just more accident prone I suppose, my brother was the same.

A one-off black eye without other red flags won’t be a cause of concern. My eldest got hit in the face by a park gate swinging back and had a terrible black eye. You do feel the need to jump straight in and explain how it happened with every person you meet, but soon realise most parents have been there.

It won’t be any surprise to nursery staff, my son is five and is still black and blue on his knees etc on a regular basis.

His best injury (if you can call it that) was when he fell over on a wall and landed face first, you could see where one brick ended and another started on his forehead.

We had matching black eyes for a while in preschool, he had head butted his own knee when he sneezed, I had two black eyes from rugby. We looked a right pair!

Seriously that's your reaction ? Quite worrying makes me think there's more to this.

Kids hurt themselves all the time. Nursery staff don't just see a bruise and think a child is being abused. There are specific things that they look out for.

The side of a face for a small child is not a difficult place to bang. Doors, tables, climbing equipment, collisions with other children. I get that it's upsetting when your child has a noticeable injury but they do all get them at some point. He DS fell over and got a massive scrape all down his forehead and nose two days before his 2nd birthday party. I was mortified.

Keeping her off makes you look guilty like your trying to hide it?

Kids hurt themselves, it's normal.

My 14 month old has been sporting at least 3 small bruises on his forehead ever day since he was 8 months old and discovered banging his head on things. It drives me insane but apart from following him about all the time I can't stop it from happening. I do understand the worry and have wondered myself what people think when they see it. But similarly to other PPs, half the bumps and bruises he gets are from nursery so they must understand!

Honestly, OP, I agree with PPs that the concerning thing in your posts is your reaction to an entirely normal occurrence being to keep it secret in such a guilty way.

Send her in. Every parent who comes in with a child who has an injury like this (and I see it a lot, small children just do this kind of thing!) is mortified and explains in minute detail what happened. You will not be the first.

They will get you to sign an "accident at home" type form and ask what happened, that's good practice.

We only start to worry if there are repeated injuries and I mean bad or unusual ones not bumped knees. Bruises and marks in unusual places, across the back or inner thighs or something. We can see grasp marks. Or the explanation doesn't match the injury or there just isn't one.

Remember as well that they will know your child. I saw a child with a nasty black eye, the parent explained that they had run into a table...I could totally see that happening!!

Children are not taken away by social services for a one off bump!

It seems like people are implying OP's anxiety is suspicious in itself when it strikes me that she is just incredibly anxious and filled with unnecessary guilt. I often felt the same when my eldest was young and was incredibly sensitive to perceived criticism. I was convinced everyone thought I was a terrible mum (I wasn't). OP's response has hallmarks of post natal depression/anxiety (to me, I'm not a doctor).

With this kind of thing I usually email the nursery before we go in so they have a written record and then mention it to the key worker at drop off. They are normally pleased you have told them.