It's not the case that most parents of babies/toddlers 'get no sleep for years'

[Echobelly]

I'm aware I was pretty fortunate in getting two kids who were both pretty good sleepers relatively early on - I was preparing for the worst because all the folklore about having a baby is 'Hahaha, you'll never sleep again' but TBH, I think only about 10% of parents I'm friends with seem to have had really persistent non-sleepers (as in still multiple waking often age 3-4+).

Seems to me that most babies actually sleep with no more than one wake by about six months (and one wake's generally pretty copable) and while it may be true you don't get a lie-in at weekend for years, and may get worken early, it's not years of broken sleep as some people seem to give the impression.

Disclaimer: not implying terrible sleepers don't exist, that that's not awful to live with or that it's anyone's fault if babies/toddlers do or don't sleep

But basically AIBU to suggest that the majority of babies and toddlers don't actually deny their parents restful sleep for years on end?

DS1 was a terrible sleeper (waking hourly) until about 13 months. He then went down to one wake up until he was about 20 months and has only slept through since then. That’s when we conceived DC2 🤣. Not born yet but praying she’ll be a better sleeper as I don’t think I can do it again!

I was lucky in that I found sharing a bed with a child didn't interrupt my sleep: in fact, I found it gave me a better quality of sleep. Something about their breathing that just had a very calming effect.

And I totally don’t agree with parents scare mongering pregnant women with talk of having no sleep for years or being exhausted and having no life BUT I also hate when you can’t say anything negative.
It’s definitely the way in my family and my friends. I’ve actually felt incredibly alone through the years at times, I’ve tried hard to keep to social things while literally have the eyes hanging out of my head for years and always having to say everything is great cause people don’t want to hear the reality .
Like I still run, am very fit , I still read books, watch programs I like, eat out , spend time with my dh ( and we have absolutely no family help etc so it is challenging to get the time) but things are totally different now. We are way, way more tired than we were pre kids , I’m almost always exhausted. I think in my case it’s from years of sleep deprivation and just the constantness (I’m a natural introvert). But honestly don’t talk about it as just feel it’s moaning or “your choice” answers and it was and I absolutely adore my children but I am v v v tired 🤷🏼‍♀️

And em... no after 6 years of very little sleep it wasn’t “a state of mind thing” and I didn’t really feel tired when I only had one kid tbh.
I actually think it more cumulative , like I’m now catching up on my sleep now that everyone sleeps but I honestly believe it will take years. I think that’s why with my first child o actually found it ok to be woken up a lot as I had years of great sleep before!
I also feel awful with under 7 hours sleep as it doesn’t suit me, my body or my health. That’s wasn’t a state of mind , it wasn’t about positive thinking or lack of . I felt awful and kept getting ill as I didn’t have enough sleep.
Incidentally I am exactly the same size/shape as pre kids as for me sleep deprivation burns calories , silver lining!

Ds1 woke up to 10 times night until he was 5. I was a virtual zombie. Fortunately ds2 slept through from around 11 months. It really depends on the child.

Dd1 didn’t sleep.
She didn’t need much sleep, she still bloody doesn’t and is destined to be a night shift worker.
She was a colicky screaming hell baby for the 1st 9 months then actually slept the night at 18 months (but didn’t day nap from 12 months) for about a year then had horrific night terrors for the following 3 years that she didn’t remember but traumatised DH and I.
She also failed sleep school at about 4 months and literally no one there could get her to settle with any “tricks”.
At 6 she can happily fully function on 6 hrs but also is happy to lay in bed reading until a more social hour (like 6.30am rather than 5am)

Dd2 (3) wakes up once still and is ready for her day at 6am.
As soon as she is awake she has to get up, get dressed and eat breakfast while the rest of us are still in PJs. (As in she feels she needs to get dressed, not I make her)

I realise now I am much the same and I don’t actually need that much sleep.