To think you don't love your pets half as much once you have kids

[ishouldtryabitmoreachday]

We have a dog. We had him a couple of years before I had a baby. We'd had a previous dog together and my parents had a dog when I was in my teens. But I just don't love my dog like I did before I had kids.

My dog is looked after, he's walked twice a day, groomed and wormed, flea stuff and is part of the family. He goes most places with us, but I just don't have that love I had before I had kids. It's hard to explain, is it just me .. AIBU?

Dogs all the way for me, they give unconditional love and support. Mine is better fed than the rest of the family

I haven't disposed of the dog. I'm am not getting rid of him...And yes I am lovely thank you

My dog is looked after, he's walked twice a day, groomed and wormed, flea stuff and is part of the family. He goes most places with us,

And that’s why people like you shouldn’t have pets.*

Honestly?

This is squaring up to be a really nasty thread. It's clear in the first post that op loves and cares for her pet. She's just musing about how that's changed since having kids. Nothing wrong with a bit of reflection, there is absolutely nothing in the post that suggests the dog is mistreated or in any way suffering.

The love for my dog never changed when I had ds...I absolutely loved him to bits. but the love I have for ds was far greater.

I lost my dog a couple of weeks ago and it broke my heart

I felt the same OP. I don’t have any pets now.

I can 100% relate OP.

Before kids my dog was my baby, and treated as such. Post kids she is now my dog.
She is still a very loved dog, but just a dog

I can see it’s an unpopular opinion but unfortunately it was the same for me. I never ever thought I’d say this, as I was obsessed with my dog but now she has become my pet.

My dog was my baby, I wish that didn’t change but it did. It’s like DD came along and it was this overwhelming love like nothing else and it’s just not comparable.

She’s so well cared for and doesn’t need a better home. She is a very happy well loved dog and DD adores her but my feelings did change and I had no choice in the matter!

So... I love my dog just as much as I did pre DS, although my relationship with him has changed. I used to have lots of time to focus on just him and obviously since his "human brother" came along 3 years ago I've had a lot less time (and if I'm honest less patience given constant sleep deprivation!) for him. This saddens me so when I notice it I try to spend some time just fussing our dog or giving him treats, encouraging my son to interact lovingly and appropriately with him etc. I wonder if you also meant that your relationship has changed as opposed to loving them less, per se?

I once over-heard someone say

“Before you have a baby your dog is your baby, After you have a baby your dog is just a dog”

(She was talking about her own dog)
At the time I remember being a bit 🤨

But now I totally get it

YANBU OP, You’re dog is still well cared for and loved - but I don’t think you should fell any less because you don’t prioritise him over your children

I love my dog more than my dp, more than my mother (who is a pain). She is the dog of my heart. I will love a child like her human sibling. Don’t on the whole rate the naked ape as a species tbh.

YABU your poor dog, this makes me sad to read

😂

I loved my DDog and he was kind enough to die when DD was premature so my overwhelming feeling was ‘someone I love is going to die? But not DD? Ok’ I love his impeccable timing.
I now have another DDog and I would say she is my other DC, except in a burning building scenario I would save everyone my DC’s arses before I’d save hers and actually I think she should help! Ask me if you could only save DC1 or DC2 I couldn’t answer, DC* or DDog I could answer in a flash. It’s basically Sophie’s choice and you’d choose your kid every time.

God MN is insane. I totally agree with you op. Felt the same way about my cats. I always find it weird when people claim to love their pets more than their kids. Maybe those people shouldn’t have kids then? Or does that only apply to getting a pet?!

I'd really love to know the number of households in UK that do NOT have a dog/pet. Seems to me everyone has one. Well each to their own.

What is the obsession with pets? Do you not enjoy your own company, your kids, your family what? And the hairy moulting and the vets and going away and all that costs a lot for dogs.

Devil's Advocate, report me if you wish, but honestly I have never understood the desire for people to have dogs in their house with children. Sorry now.

Calm down people! OP's dog won't be reading this thread - and as it is an animal, it won't have a clue how much OP 'loves' it in comparison to her children, as long as it's being fed and walked, etc. I never understand how people try and put human characteristics onto animals. TBH the frothing on this thread is ridiculous.

YABU.

I'm so glad me and dh got our dog about 10 years after having kids. They were over that toddler/tantrum/pull the dog's ear/tail stage.

We've had our dog 5 years now and we have teenagers now. Me and dh honestly lavish more affection on the dog, because he loves it, We definitely spend more time with him!

This thread is peak Mumsnet dog nutter.

Absolutely. It's hilarious!

Just to add, I don't think for a minute the OP's dog is unhappy. I'm sure he's fine.

We've had our dog 5 years now and we have teenagers now. Me and dh honestly lavish more affection on the dog, because he loves it, We definitely spend more time with him!

You lavish more time and attention on your dog than your children and you see this as a good thing?

I saw the title and thought 'Where's my 🍿?'

😂😂

I am old. I come from a time, deep in the past where animals more or less were never allowed to usurp human love for other humans. Also, by the by, regarding where you went on holiday, the maxim 'if dad's happy, we're all happy' held sway! Imagine that, today! 😂 Seeing as now it's gotta be 'if the kids are happy...'

So this dark place deep in the past, people cared for family pets. Incorporated them into the household. Allowed them certain privileges. Taught them their place in the hierarchy.

But never, never considered them actual family members in the way a child might be!!

The old saying- no parent should have to bury their own child. Its 100% true

Sadly all you dog owners have to bury a dog. Unless you are going to pass in less than 10-15 years time.

And btw - I always had pets until I had children. Then once I had a crawling baby the thought of my dogs/cats arse/hair/etc being where my baby was crawling made me feel sick. So I cared for my pets until their time was done, but I would never have any more. I just don't think I considered how disgusting all the dirt, hair, etc were until I had children.

I certainly appreciate my cats more post DC. They're so easy to look after and don't want much.

Actually, what I think has happened is the normalisation, the indulgence of tackling then maybe avoiding difficult, usually adult, human relationships via 'loving' an animal.

It's waaay easier to love a cat, a dog, a horse, etc, than another human being. As they generally don't answer back. Let alone challenge or demand compromise.

would never have any more. I just don't think I considered how disgusting all the dirt, hair, etc were until I had children.

I feel the same way so stopped at 4 children grimy little buggers

This post reminds me of an earlier one today where the OP wanted to know why people on MN “are so vile”.....because of you, OP, because of you.

Yes op how very dare you love your kids and take good care of your dog too?

Now look what you've done.... turned the good people of Mumsnet vile with your hare brained priorities!