To think you don't love your pets half as much once you have kids

[ishouldtryabitmoreachday]

We have a dog. We had him a couple of years before I had a baby. We'd had a previous dog together and my parents had a dog when I was in my teens. But I just don't love my dog like I did before I had kids.

My dog is looked after, he's walked twice a day, groomed and wormed, flea stuff and is part of the family. He goes most places with us, but I just don't have that love I had before I had kids. It's hard to explain, is it just me .. AIBU?

What an awful post. Even if you don’t love your dog as much, why would you announce it?

They can't read or understand language. I think it'll be fine

This thread is ridiculous. I love my cat but he’s absolutely not as important as my children, how could he possibly be? And we had him first, and we’ve had him since he was a kitten and he’s an old puss now. He’s still a cat. A valuable member of our family but never one I would chose above my own children.

I love my cat like a cat.
I love my children like children.
It's different, but not less.
And sometimes I like my cat a lot better than my kids!

Nope, loved our cats (now departed) just as much once we had children and we all adore the three we got last year. We were all devastated when our first two died, they were part of our family.

I don’t understand how you can love your pet less? It’s not like falling out of love with a partner. Like someone else said love isn’t finite, you can still love your pet just as much as you always did and love your more children once they arrive. I suspect you never really loved your poor dog in the first place.

I know people who got rid of their dogs and cats once they had children, citing ‘safety’ concerns which is a load of rubbish imo. Watch your child and watch your pets! Some people just don’t form the same bond with their pets as others or regard the relationship you can have with an animal differently. That’s fair enough but saying that having a child made you love your dog less is odd.

@Indoctro yes maybe that's it. I was ott, my dog had an Instagram 1000+ genuine followers and I'd take him places for fun, like I do now for my DC. Makes me cringe a bit how I treated my dog as more than a pet. I still do take him on different walks but I'm treating as a dog.

@museumum I have a baby and a preschooler

I wonder if it's new mum hormones? Is it because you are a focusng so much on the baby you are indifferent to anything else, or do you subconsciously see the dog as a threat to your baby? I think as the baby becomes a little more independent your normal feelings to your dog will return. Until then show him love and look after him well.

Op... do you mean actually love less, or do you really mean you view your pet differently?
Ie. Less treating dog like a child, less time spent mothering dog, viewing your human child as higher in ranking? This i wouldn't say is loving the dog less, but more putting a higher importance on your own child, wish doesnt equate to loving something less.

I have 3 dogs and one DC, i can honestly say I adore each one of my dogs like they are my babies... they are just as important and sometimes I like my dogs more than I like my DC mainly because they never answer back (lighthearted!)

Dc is 6, not a baby, if i had a newborn, prehaps i would feel different, but i had a dog when DC was a baby, and i still loved him exactly the same.

If you have a newborn, or a very young child.. youll probably find its more strong hormones thats making you feel more indifference to your dog. For you childs survival your hormones might be telling you that you "love" is stronger for your own flesh.

Or prehaps im talking utter bollocks.

Either way, try and find that love for your dog again. Dogs deserve all the love, always.

Treating a living thing that has been one's companion as a dispensable accessory? Cold. I neither like nor trust people like this.

This thread is peak Mumsnet dog nutter.

I completely agree with you OP. When I was pregnant I lay down with my cat, looked into his eyes and told him nothing was going to change between us.

How little I knew.

The baby came and she was all I could see.

@altiara

I had my cat first. Loved her just the same after kids. Had the dog last, love him more than the kids! The kids love him the most too! He is family, the cat was a pet.

You love your dog more than your kids?

It isnt just you OP. I've heard of a few people saying this. Their animals were still well loved and cared for which is the main thing!

Another good thing to add to the “never had kids” list.

I get it op

I remember being pregnant with my first and being worried I'd love my cat less when the baby was here. I honestly used to cry about it

And I did but I was ok with it

It is just a different kind of love when you have a baby 🥰

I think some posters aren’t reading the OP correctly. They aren’t saying that they don’t love their pet as much as their children - of course the love you have for your children is stronger/greater/unconditional. The OP is saying that their love did their dog reduced when they had children.

What is with all these silly posts?

MN is insane. Someone posts they don’t love their child and pages fill up with posters stating the same, they resent the child, wish they’d never had her, long for child free days. Someone says the same about the dog and they belong in the same circle of hell as Judas.

Has the OP sat her dog down, and informed him she doesn’t love him any more? And if she did, would the dog know or care?

What matters is how well he is looked after.

YABU. I am already mourning one of my cats and she's not even 10 years old yet - I can't bear the thought of her dying. My dog is my boy.

My chickens get cuddles and I'm thinking of building a ramp on the coop, because they like to sleep on top of it and one of them is getting a bit arthritic.

This is not the first post where someone's found they are more irritated and less loving in their feelings towards their pet after children, and they got roasted as well.

I love my pets, but it's just incomparable to how I love my children. The person who said the children said get the dog first if there was a burning building- that's the fun reply, but in reality, if your children were trapped in a burning building and you went back to get the dog- sorry words fail me.

The two types of love aren't the same. I don't love all my pets, I had a family dog in our household, I cared for him, walked him, stayed up all night with him when he was sick and dying but I didn't love him in a deep way. I can't feel that way for all animals, a bit like humans, some I respond to more than others.

*love for their dog reduced

I guess it's a bit like when you have a child, and are expecting another and you think how the hell can I love this new one as much as the first one? But you do.
I think I might find the aspect of trying to look after a dog along with a baby and a child difficult so might marr what you feel for them a bit, but I don't think I'd love my dog any less.
That's said, I got my dog when my youngest was 11 so not really the same.

I think I love my old cat more!

Sat with me through night feeds, patient and placid with the DC.

Obviously the DC are more important but still love her the same, as my pet. A pet is part of the family.

I don't understand how you can love a pet more than your child. I don't even understand how you can love a pet more than extended family members like MIL, Sister in law etc (assuming you have an ok relationship).

But that's why I don't have pets. Pets are animals. Animals should be protected and loved and they should have rights but at the end of the day, they aren't family.

I would says in natural to love your child more than anything else in the world. You still love the dog. Totally normal imo. I dont think your love for the dog has changed. I think u have a deeper love for your baby that u didn't know existed. Enjoy them both. They both love u and u love both of them. Dont stress the order which of course will be baby first as nature intended.

I had my cat long before my child. I love her the same as ever. But as a cat. At no point was she ever my ‘baby.’ I love my human child more than I can ever say. My feelings towards my cat have not changed with the arrival of my daughter, she is still my lovely cat. But my child is a far and away a different love.

My cat is 11. My DD is 8. I love him just as much as I always have done. I love my DD as much as I always have done. This is a weird post. As a PP said it's different kinds of love. I've never gone so far as to make an instagram for a pet though. The same way I wouldn't make one for DD. A social media page is about YOU not your dog however you choose to spin it. I think this post says a lot more about you than it does about your dog and child. People are fucking weird.