To think you don't love your pets half as much once you have kids

[ishouldtryabitmoreachday]

We have a dog. We had him a couple of years before I had a baby. We'd had a previous dog together and my parents had a dog when I was in my teens. But I just don't love my dog like I did before I had kids.

My dog is looked after, he's walked twice a day, groomed and wormed, flea stuff and is part of the family. He goes most places with us, but I just don't have that love I had before I had kids. It's hard to explain, is it just me .. AIBU?

The OP wanted attention? She fits in perfectly here then

Yep.

I know people who have gone the other way OP- they love their pets more than they love their kids.

My attitude is, why does it need to be comparable? Sorry to sound hippy-ish but there’s more than enough love to go around!

Or on the flip side, she knows she feels that she loves the dog less, feels guilty and wanted to ask if it was normal to feel like that?

Lol...if that’s what you want to believe...🤣 Her second post was not one of guilt.

Oh @greentreesdream did you mean my post about my ex kicking the dog? If so then thank you, and I completely agree with what you said. If not then sorry

I don’t have a ddog at the moment as my last one died 4 years ago and only now can I contemplate getting a new one. However, I remember the love I felt for my pets. I think the only thing that changed for me once dd was born was that had the house been on fire, I would save DD first before Ddog who would be a very immediate second.

Someone once said to me having a dog was like having a child which doesn’t grow up and I believe that to be true. It may be that love for a pet is not different after a child but your priorities might be.

I am very judgmental of anyone who loves a dog or cat more than any children, let alone their own children.

Sorry to sound hippy-ish but there’s more than enough love to go around!
I think you have the right idea.
It doesn't have to be a competition. It's not like love is a pie with limited slices.

@Westiegirl3

No, I don't understand your feelings at all. I couldn't love my dogs anymore if I'd given birth to them...

are you quite well?

@Parker231

Some people shouldn’t have pets. Having children is no excuse to give your pets any less care and attention. You make time.

And some people clearly shouldn't have children. Fucking hell the weirdness about animals on this thread. Mental.

I can't really relate. I loved our dogs pre dc and love them now. I don't love them the same way as I love DC's but I certainly don't love them any less.

My dog prefers my toddler because she doesn't pounce on him and clean his teeth. I prefer cleaning my toddler's teeth because she doesn't require enzymatic poultry flavouring not envy

I sort of get what everyone is saying here. I would say that two things happened to me after my baby was born: I had less time, and my priorities changed because she just went straight to the top of the list. Lots of things that I used to enjoy with the dog felt like a chore, like an evening walk when the baby was down and although she would sleep for 4-6 hours most nights doing stuff for the dog meant I couldn't just fall forward onto the bed and pass out like I wanted to. But the dog is a true gent and a real gem, the best behaved dog I have ever had, and loves me best if all. Plus he has always been absolutely wonderful with the toddler. I did go through a phase of wishing that I hadn't got a dog and a baby at the same time, but as she has got older and started to form her own relationship with him, I have started to remember how lovely it is to have a dog when you have headspace and proper sleep. This is literally just in the last few weeks really. So it has been hard. I don't know where you are timewise, OP, but if you are juggling young toddlers or babies and the dog you will probably rediscover the full extent of your love for him when it all gets a bit less full-on.

I don't love him as much as I love my husband and my child but I do love him very much and he is very well taken care of (including his stinky gnashers).

@SusieMyerson - why should a pet suffer from less attention and love when you have DC’s? You put both DC’s and pets needs before your own - if not you shouldn’t be a parent or pet owner.

I think pets can move down a rung in the hierarchy when you have babies. It's probably down to hormones and instincts over which you have no control, but it doesn't mean you treat your pets any less well or that you stop loving them.

I remember feeling a bit less focused on my cat when my dc born (especially the first) and while they were very tiny, but it evens out as you get used to being a parent imo. My dc are tweens/teens now, and we got a dog 5 years ago. We all absolutely adore him.

Let's be honest we all have limited emotional energy. I can see that when a baby arrives a chunk of that is going to be transferred to the baby. Seems fine to me as long as the dog is loved enough and looked after properly.

We used to have a dog, who we loved so, so much.

I love my child so, so much but it's definitely a different love and OP that really is ok. If I had to choose to save my dog or my child it would be my child every time, obviously. Providing your dog is still loved, played with and very well looked after, its all fine.

Sorry to sound hippy-ish but there’s more than enough love to go around!

Totally agree.

My dog got me through some real tough shit. He was all I had for a while. I love him the same today as I always have, that didn't change, it was just another experience I got to share with him 😊 I still call him my best mate and mean it!

They certainly become a much lowe

We have other things in our lives. To our pets , especially Dogs, we are their entire lives, we are their EVERYTHING! But hey, they're low on your priorities. Lovely!

The woman giving that poor dog Jack away is an utter cunt. Camilla B I hope you're on MN so you can see just how disgusting what you're doing is.

...lower priority got cut off

SusieMyerson

Are you ok hun?

@BeautifulCrazy

SusieMyerson

Are you ok hun?

Yes thankyou.

This post reminds me of an earlier one today where the OP wanted to know why people on MN “are so vile”.....because of you, OP, because of you.

Actually no, it's because of people like you.

The OP has some feelings she wanted to discuss and people are being vile. She's not abusing her dog.

Some people's feelings do change towards their animals..like a previous poster said, you can love an animal loads but actually, most people don't love anything as much as they love their child and it does quantify things.

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel

I agree. People just don’t realise how devastating it is to a dog when they’re dumped. They are such loyal animals. Their owners are their entire lives. I’ve seen dogs cry for months when they’ve been dumped at a shelter, some never recover enough to be rehomed. Of course there may be circumstances where their is no option but to rehome a dog but having children who will grow up and get easier really isn’t a good enough reason to just get rid because things get a bit hard. What the fuck do people expect? Animals and kids take up time. If you have them, then you give them what they need or these ‘owners’ rightly get called a cunt.

most people don't love anything as much as they love their child and it does quantify things.

If people feel the need to measure love, that’s up to them. I don’t have a problem with anyone who loves their kids more than any animal, but the OP said she loves her dog less now, which is different to saying you love your kids more than your dog.

Has OP even been back? No. She clearly didn’t want to discuss it that much. I’ll stick to my opinion that she’s an attention seeker who wanted to find something else to divide people on. She’s probably not even got a dog...or children....so much I could say about OP but don’t want to get deleted.

Lol. I would 100% prefer my dog over someone else's children.

Trust me, your kids are not that interesting.

And neither are mines to you.