To think you don't love your pets half as much once you have kids

[ishouldtryabitmoreachday]

We have a dog. We had him a couple of years before I had a baby. We'd had a previous dog together and my parents had a dog when I was in my teens. But I just don't love my dog like I did before I had kids.

My dog is looked after, he's walked twice a day, groomed and wormed, flea stuff and is part of the family. He goes most places with us, but I just don't have that love I had before I had kids. It's hard to explain, is it just me .. AIBU?

That’s awful leelu

I think in a lot of cases people who are really passionate about animals are quite shit with people. I don’t mind this; it’s a big world and there’s space for a lot of people in it - but bear in mind that if you do have a family it isn’t going to be a happy environment with children.

The other parallel strangely enough is evangelically religious people, who answer God’s calling to go across the world and preach but ignore their children’s pleas to stay at school with their friends.

You seen this advert? 7 years, the poor bloody dog.

Heartbreaking. Imagine how he’s going to feel when they get rid of him. I hope he gets good owners, the current ones don’t deserve him. Bastards. If I was their young child and found out in the future that they had done this, I’d fucking hate them.

@LEELULUMPKIN,

And by more I meant since I have had DS NOT more than DS

I think in a lot of cases people who are really passionate about animals are quite shit with people.

Well if you mean they don’t like people with OPs attitude then yes, I agree. I like nice people who are loyal and caring. I tend to be ‘shit’ with people who discard me when something else comes along.

I adored the dog that I had before ds and the one we have now i adore too.Why should having a child affect how you feel about your dog?

You seen this advert? 7 years, the poor bloody dog.

That Pets4Homes sites is full of dogs like that. There are some genuine rescues which advertise there for adoption, but so many dogs on there are being got rid of by individuals because children have come along or are on the way. 'It is with a heavy heart ...' 'needs rehoming through no fault of his own' ... It makes me so sad.

People need to remember a dog is a commitment for over a decade, not something to fill in the gap for a couple of years until you have children.

OPs attitude is fine.

She loves the dog and she looks after him.

I really wish I hadn’t seen that poor Jack, I want to go and get him right now. Seven years of loyalty and now he’s just getting kicked out. And she hasn’t got the decency to give him away. He’d be the perfect companion for someone a bit older who lives alone and who will lavish love and attention on him.

Yep and I’ve taught her those signals so she respects other animals but our dog doesn’t react normally so I make sure she knows to protect him.

I clearly haven’t expressed myself well or don’t have much in common with everyone on this thread so I won’t antagonise anyone else but I’ll let DH know we should think about rehoming her

@greentreesdream What is awful?

What I said or my situation?

I love my children unconditionally. That's the whole thing about being a parent.
I don't love my dog unconditionally though I love him very much. But if he started being dangerous to my kids and requiring very expensive treatment we couldn't afford without suffering hardship ourselves then I wouldn't put our family through that. I would do an awful lot for him though but I have limits. I have no limit when it comes to my children, I'd do everything and anything.

What your ex did leelu, sorry, I didn’t mean YOU were awful at all.

Before having children I would say I would have done more for my dog but even then I wouldn't have done anything and everything but I wouldn't have had to worry about the impact on my children. I don't love him less per say but my children come first.

@greentreesdream Eh? I think you must be confusing me with someone else my DH of 27 years is very much NOT my ex!

It's neck and neck though between him and the dog! :)

I can't believe people think YABU.

I can't even express how strange I find it 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

One problem is that before you have children you don’t know how they are going to make you feel about anything and I don’t really think it’s someone’s fault if a baby makes their feelings towards their animals change - how could they have foreseen this?

Sorry!

They certainly become a much lower priority

OP: The dog is fed, walked and given stimulation and attention.
Mumsnetters: That's disgusting! That poor dog. Maybe you should rehome the poor thing.

Only on Mumsnet .

I kind of understand what you mean op. Are you children still babies?

We have a dog who we had for 4 years before our DS was born. He was and always will be very much my dog. When DS was born I really struggled as DH worked away and I had no family help nearby. I didn’t properly bond with DS in the beginning and I had (what I think was mild) PND.
At times I felt like DDog was just something else demanding love and affection from me when I had nothing left to give.

At times I thought maybe I didn’t love Ddog anymore but I always looked after him and gave him the affection he needs. It was as DS got a bit older and I was coping better than I realised I’d never stopped loving DDog, I was just finding things really hard at the time.

DDog is 11 now and I adore the furry lump. He has still stayed my dog but DS adores him too now and I dread the day we have to say goodbye to him.

EveryPlanetHasAYorkshire

OP wanted to make the point that she loves her dog less now, that’s the reason people are commenting. OP clearly wanted attention. If OP had only said ‘my dog is fed. walked, given stimulation and attention’ no one would have responded. Or they’d have said ‘what’s the point of the thread.’

The OP wanted attention? She fits in perfectly here then .

There are some ridiculous people on this thread.

I am fond of my cat and he is well looked after, but once I had children, yes, my feelings were never quite the same again. Suddenly the cat was just a cat after all, not a furry infant.

@BeautifulCrazy

EveryPlanetHasAYorkshire

OP wanted to make the point that she loves her dog less now, that’s the reason people are commenting. OP clearly wanted attention. If OP had only said ‘my dog is fed. walked, given stimulation and attention’ no one would have responded. Or they’d have said ‘what’s the point of the thread.’

Or on the flip side, she knows she feels that she loves the dog less, feels guilty and wanted to ask if it was normal to feel like that?

Because by that logic then, nearly every AIBU post on here is attention seeking too.

you don't love your first child less once you have a second, why should you love your pet less because you have a child?

You appear to be confused about the difference between animals and humans. It really really isn't the same thing.