To think you don't love your pets half as much once you have kids

[ishouldtryabitmoreachday]

We have a dog. We had him a couple of years before I had a baby. We'd had a previous dog together and my parents had a dog when I was in my teens. But I just don't love my dog like I did before I had kids.

My dog is looked after, he's walked twice a day, groomed and wormed, flea stuff and is part of the family. He goes most places with us, but I just don't have that love I had before I had kids. It's hard to explain, is it just me .. AIBU?

I don’t think it’s down to loving one more than the other. It’s that the pets care shouldn’t reduce once you have children. You don’t sit down and play with the DC’s if the cat needs taking for a vets appointment. If the dog had a daily two mile walk pre children, that continue once you have had children.

I love my dog MORE now that we have the baby. Seeing them playing together is the most precious gift and gives me so much joy.

I don't have a dog, I've never been a dog lover. But I can understand your feelings. It sounds like, as someone else said, your dog was your surrogate baby. But when you actually did have kids, you realised the love you felt didn't compare with the love for your dog. As long as you're looking after your dog, that's ok. I have cats, that we got when the children were young. I love my cats, but they scratch the carpets and furniture, leave balls of furs everywhere and one proudly dumped a dead rat on the carpet last week 🤮. I just can't love all that behaviour, though I do love them. Just as cats though. I think it's fine not to be obsessive about your dog any more. The key is that you're still caring for him and hopefully giving him a few cuddles too. I do think our pets need to feel loved. Maybe make sure you're giving your dog some loving scratches and cuddles even if you're not quite feeling it.

Oops, I meant the love you had didn't compare with the love for your kids.

I got my dog after the kid and can honestly say he is a loved and adored member of the family. Can’t imagine loving him more.

I love my dog, but I love my dc way more - I’d say that was normal. We got him after we had the dc though, so he hasn’t been downgraded!

YABVU - you don't love your first child less once you have a second, why should you love your pet less because you have a child? Surely love grows, you don't have to divide it into portions.

People shouldn't have pets if they are going to change the way they feel about them simply because they have children. A pet is supposed to be part of the family.

I didn't experience this, got our dog two years before ds came along, he's 14 now and still very much loved.

I think when my son was little the dog probably didn't get as much attention as he did before but as my ds has grown up and demands less of our time that's changed again. Doesn't mean I loved him any less though.

After I had my daughter, my husband and my cat ( who I was previously very fond of) irritated me a lot ( my husband more so) so I left them. He got the cat and I got the baby.

YABVVVU

Hopefully it's just you but @Deadringer admits it too.

My feelings towards our pets have never changed, we have 3 (now adults) DC.

You never loved him in the first place if it changed on a whim. People like you shouldn't have animals.

What ridiculous dramatic responses 😂 I have a dog and adore him but it doesn’t compare to the love I have for my children. Some of you need to massively get a grip.

Of course you're gonna love your children more than your dog. No one is arguing that. But there is no reason you should love your dog less than you did before just because you have had a baby!

OP if you'd have only put you didn't like your child very much you'd have had a bunch of empathisers and handholds.

I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to gain from this post. It feels like you've just had a random thought you decided to share.

If anything I loved DDog more after we had DC. They were my oasis of calm when the baby was screaming and keeping us up all night.

OP didn't say she hates her dog, just that her feelings changed when she had a child.

I agree. I adore my pets and seeing their wee faces makes me so happy, but it's a different sort of love to what I feel for my kids.

YANBU. We had two cats who we were devoted to pre-children. Whilst we still love and care for them, I've realised the affection and concern I have for my cats pales into insignificance now my children are here, little humans that I would sacrifice my own life for if I had to... To feel anything else would be weird to me. As for loving your dog more than your children, if that's true, I have no words.

When the DCs were really tiny it was hard as the cats felt like an inconvenience - when you're run ragged on hardly any sleep, bouncing a screaming baby and covered in yesterday's dried milk, being scratched to hell trying to get them into a carrier to take them to the vets felt like an almighty pain in the arse. It's easier to manage now the DCs are older.

I do honestly think some MNetters love their dogs more than their children, and I don’t think it’s healthy at all.

I do love dogs and they are a member of the family. But part of that should be considering their impact on the whole family.

If you can never have a day out somewhere that isn’t dog friendly, if your children have their activities severely curtailed because of the cost of your dog(s), if you spend more time with the dogs than your children, then, IMO, those things are not healthy.

No, that's not normal. That's horrendous

Holy shit, you people are dramatic. It's a bloody dog, it's taken care of. She didn't say she hates it, just she don't love it as much. Fair enough.

I might not be the best person to comment because I don't like dogs much (prefer cats 😉) but how you feel is completely valid and you are there for your dog and take care for it so it doesn't really matter how you feel about it. The dogs not going to be depressed because it senses the love has lessened..Jesus, some weird posters here.

Thanks for this OP, you really brought the crazy out of Mumsnet with this one! @mumsnet please can we add this to classics but block the crazy dog ladies, they may be offended and report it to the rspca.

I love my cat but I would not risk my life and die for her, like I would for my children. I love them more.

I think it's very common OP. We get pets for the affection it gives us and is often an easier version than a baby. 6ou then get THE baby and their affection is it so special any longer.

I have the experience in the other side! Got a pup once my kids had left home. Never expected to feel love almost if not as strong as when I brought my kids home. Tons of affection, love, laughter for half less the trouble and demands. Love my kids to death, but getting a dog is almost better

YABU your poor dog.... but there are often posts here to the tune of: I don’t love my partner as much now I’ve had my children/if I had to choose I’d pick my child over my partner etc., and the replies are for the majority, in agreement so I’m surprised at the majority being in disagreement with you here.

I have two boys aged 3 and 7 and I looked at my dog yesterday and literally thought I love her like I'd given birth to her as well!

I felt similar when I first brought my son home. It actually made me cry.

But now he's 4, and the devil, so the dog is back on top.