AIBU to think how men have got away with this for far to long

[Alex50]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-53064741

Why don’t they pay for their children and think it’s ok?

My ex does a lot of ‘cash in hand ‘ work so it looks like he earns a lot less than he actually does
I wish there was a way to force him to pay properly for his kids

Makes me so cross- I asked him to contribute 50% to school uniform costs ( Our uniform costs are £20 a jumper. £11 a polo top for eg. Quite a bit with 2 kids) - apparently its ‘not his problem’

A lot of the shit that goes on with maintenance and visitation probably comes out of the fact that people in a failed relationship feel the need to be regular shits to each other.

I'd like to think people wouldn't use money or access to be used against the ex in that way because obviously it damages their kids.But it happens all the flipping time. And although with money it's more often men not paying, I see women playing games with access just as often as men do, so I have doubts about the idea that it's mainly men not putting kids first.

BankofNook

I find that you can tell a great deal about a man in the way that he talks about his ex-partner.

Given the website that we are on you have got to love the hypocrisy of this statement

My ex was taken to court for a liability order which was put in place. Bailiffs had no luck getting hold of him. I'm still waiting for any money!!!

The cms are a joke. The prevailing attitude of people in this country that women taking CM are the feckless wastrells rather than the unpaying, eow, stick them in front of the PlayStation manchild still getting his mum to do laundry that is a stereotype for a reason.

what do you expect when the PM is a deadbeat dad with children by multiple women and has not paid anything for at least one of them

what do you expect when the PM is a deadbeat dad with children by multiple women and has not paid anything for at least one of them

Nice try. But Boris wasn't PM when the rules were brought in. He wasn't PM during 13 years of Brown/Blair in power.

Should 50/50 mean that the non resident parent pays if they have a higher salary? What happens when they go on to have further children and create a new family. How do they fund both

I personally would like to see child maintenance built into the tax system. If it is possible to do this for student loans, It could be done for CM.

The problem is the cake is only so big, whereas the offspring can be effectively infinite. If a man has 10 kids and earns (stop laughing at the back there) £1,000 a month, then how much does each child get ?

Or if he's on benefits - which as we know are already below the bare minimum - how do we extract the necessary 10xwhatever from his £72/week ?

It's a shame we can't remove boys testicles at birth, keep them in a vault, and then let them out once we know he's going to pay for his fucking children. But you'd need the staff. And given the mindboggling levels of incompetence currently on show from the government, I wouldn't trust them not to lose them and joke about it being a cock-up in the same press release.

@Kazzyhoward

But he's PM now and even if he wasn't in power he could still have paid. No excuse.

what do you expect when the PM is a deadbeat dad with children by multiple women and has not paid anything for at least one of them

Is there a reputable/reliable cite for that ? I am no fan of Mr. Johnson, but it's a libellous accusation, if false.

@Kazzyhoward

what do you expect when the PM is a deadbeat dad with children by multiple women and has not paid anything for at least one of them

Nice try. But Boris wasn't PM when the rules were brought in. He wasn't PM during 13 years of Brown/Blair in power.

Very true and I don't like this gov't one bit.

I didn't know BJ hadn't paid support for one of his kids btw. Maybe the mum is so fabulously wealthy she refused him! What a wonderful position to be in.

I heard today about a woman who is supposed to pay maintenance for her two children who live with their dad (she does see them regularly and involved in their lives), who went on gov't website and calculated she only has to pay peanuts.

The CSA sucks.

My dds are 13 and 8 and I have never received a penny. I received a letter a couple of years ago from cms telling me they had written off his debt as they don't believe he will ever pay.

I have single handed brought up both girls without a penny from their sperm donor or the government.

Makes me sick with rage.

It should be treated as every other debt is.

Bailiffs, CCJ's.

They've got away with it for far too long.

It's on record that he has children by multiple women, and that he has fathered children as a product of affairs. Appeal court case of 2013 here ruled the public had a right to know.

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/boris-johnson-children-how-many-baby-carrie-symonds-son-boy-affair-a9489766.html

Perhaps he pays fully and always has done for the child or children he didn't want the public to know about. I know what I think.

@dontdisturbmenow You are an amazing Mum.

There is absolutely no reason to even suspect Boris hasn't paid for the children he didn't want the public to know about. For all anyone knows, it is the mother that didn't want it public. My child's father is a person who could attract public attention and I have gone to great lengths to distance my child from any public reference to him including changing his name.

It's on record that he has children by multiple women, and that he has fathered children as a product of affairs.

His morals - and those of the women he dallies with are of no concern of mine unless he chooses to start pronouncing on morality, like a latter-day Augustus. Then he can lay bare his own life just before he fucks right off. However ...

Perhaps he pays fully and always has done for the child or children he didn't want the public to know about. I know what I think.

I was asking if there was any evidence worth taking note of that he hasn't contributed at least the legally determined minimum for all his children. Wherever they may be. So far it seems not. There's a lifetimes worth of shitty behaviour to talk about with Boris. No need to invent any.

The CMS was setup (via the CSA) by the 1980s Tories as a mechanism to stop women suing men in court for child maintenance
oh that makes sense, so it was a kind of 'bait and switch' move...make a gesture which on the face of it looks helpful but in actuality is so useless that it causes more problems than it solves.

But why?
Why dont the tories want both parents to have to step up?

I know a man who pays maintenence and then a top up and then more for uniform school trips etc etc. But of course not all men are like that

@Newbie1999 thank you They are now both young adults, well adjusted, happy and with very good life prospects. It was all worth it and I would do just the same again.

@theoldtrout01876 whilst that must have been seriously hard work for you over those 15 years thank goodness for a system where at least all that effort was worth it. So impressed the lengths the system goes to to get the money. License suspension etc. Glorious!

why shouldn't men have the right to at least 'divorce themselves' from the child, and shake off all responsibility?

Because a child’s right to support from their parents and a woman’s right over what happens to her body both trump a man’s right to a consequence-free shag.

I know it’s a shock to judge men’s needs as less consequential (let’s face it, it hardly ever happens) but in this case I find that hard to argue with.

*How amazing is it that these genuinely nice men always seem to procreate with mad women.

Poor sods*

I don't think you'd like it if someone was to suggest that it's amazing that so many genuinely nice women procreate with so many feckless men. Poor sods." Because obviously it does happen.