To think people do not know what a healthy weight looks like.

[reducingfootprint]

I am a healthy weight for my height and i constantly get comments on my weight like "gosh youre tiny" or "i could just pick you up" and "what do you eat to be small, just eat a burger" from people i work with etc. Do people really not know what a healthy weight is anymore? I just think "im not tiny i am a healthy weight and yes i do eat fucking burgers"
Im glad shops are more inclusive and plus size models are more common but i still think commenting on someones size is wrong no matter the size.

Attitudes like this don't help.

This thread is so depressing! Why do we all feel we have to deprive ourselves just to look a certain way? Yes, it's good to be healthy blah blah blah but there must be millions of women (and yes, some men but I'd guess to nowhere near such an extent) wasting SO much focus on what we eat and dont eat and for what? An extra stone or two maybe?

Taken from a thread about preferred weight.

Easier to be fat is the same thing as harder to be slim though.

I don't think it is the same. I am not sure how to explain my thought process here so bear with me

It's still the same thing if you want to be slim. Eat well, not too much, move, take care of yourself. So theoretically, it is not harder than it used to be. Still the same things you ought to do. If anything we now have access to information about food and exercise equipment like we never had before.

But, easier to be fat is because there are now there are more fattening options. There are tempting chippies everywhere, tons of convenient highly processed "grab and go" or "just heat up" meals and so on. Plus we have more sedentary lifestyles now. So it is easier to be fat than it used to be. Or maybe I should say get fat?

I am not sure if I am explaining my thoughts well. Though I can also see what you mean.

I know what you mean. I think people assume that if you are smaller/not overweight that you are automatically happy with your body. I've lost 11lb in lockdown and gone from an overweight BMI to healthy and I'm already getting comments from family and friends that I'm too skinny and not to lose anymore. I'm still towards the higher end of a healthy BMI and I've still got problem areas I want to lose fat from, so no I won't stop healthy eating and exercising.

Read a cookery book from the seventies or earlier...the food is not tempting. Cars weren't the norm for most families. Housework was harder.

Nowadays we have more sedentary jobs, most families have a car. As for food, even discounting junk and takeaways, we know so much more. We regularly cook at home Mexican, Chinese, Indian food. The supermarkets stock everything. Tv is packed with programmes about food.

What I do find strange, is the notion that being slim is a moral choice...it's hinted at heavily over this thread and is really bizarre. Being thin or being fat is not a reflection of your character or your morals.

I put on a lot of weight as a child after a very traumatic event. I was treated with such cruelty over this, not by children, but other adults including teachers. I remember thinking, if the traumatic event had caused me to develop anorexia, everyone would have been falling over themselves to help me.

The average UK women's clothing size is a 16. Lots of people seem to think that's a normal size because it's average.

However most adults in the UK are overweight or obese. www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/health-43697948

We do, as a nation, have a serious weight problem. Lots of people wouldn't describe themselves as overweight even though they demonstrably are.

I agree. I also don't like the opposite when people say oh you're tiny!! I'm in the overweight category. Don't lie, just don't say anything.

However I do pull people aside professionally if they've lost or put on weight but only if they mention it in as part of history taking, or I know them really well. It has to be done sensitively. I've picked up a cancer, 3 lots of thyroid problems and depression.

I agree that it’s rude to comment on people’s weight. There’s no need for it. The weather is there for small talk.

This is a tricky one because we come in all shapes & sizes so a healthy weight for one person is naturally not going to be a healthy weight for another. I am just over 5ft 2 & weigh 12 stone ( I was at 9 for a while but actually think I look best at around 9.5/10) I have broad shoulders & hips so will never look skinny. Commenting on people’s weight isn’t on, even with friends or family. DM often remarks on mine & I find it offensive.

If being thin was so easy for everyone then why are so many HCPs overweight?

Commenting on people’s weight isn’t on, even with friends or family.

DH and I comment on each other's weight. Otherwise, I keep my mouth firmly shut unless somebody asks for an honest opinion. That doesn't happen often.

You are right op, I think the messages are very confusing. I remember the ads from the 1980s saying if you could "pinch an inch" (of belly fat) then you should eat special k for breakfast . Picture slim bikinied women having their stomach pinched. I was overweight in my 20s I couldn't shift a stone of weight for years, after children it just gradually went and I've been slim now for several years. However in the past I've been called fat, chunky, could be so pretty if you lost weight, greedy etc. Now I'm tiny, like a feather, what do you eat? Lucky, skinny, thin. I'm a healthy weight. Because I've been on both sides of the coin I never comment on people's weight, it's so personal. So yes, we have lost sight of what's healthy and should stop commenting on other people's bodies

I'm extremely thin and the last time I heard anyone say anything rude about it was when I was a teenager, from other teenagers

Same, and it was to do with having no boobs too. Oh no tell a lie, I had one person yell "eat a fucking cheeseburger" out of a moving car when I was jogging about 8 years ago. People do comment alon it all the time but I assume they thought they were being nice.

I’m small - 5’6 and about 9 stone - I’m a size 2 /4. I can’t tell you how many people have asked if I have an eating disorder or when I get up to go to the loo people make jokes about ‘sticking two fingers down my throat’. Funny thing is I’ve always been this small. Except when I was pregnant, and even then, the comments were ‘why are you still so small?’ It’s tedious but I’m used to it.

I think it is partly to do with what's "in" as well. I'm 5ft 6 and usually a 10 on bottom and an 8 on top. I have an hourglass figure, I'm a 28G bust but sometimes have to by a 12 on bottom as I have a big bum. I also have a small waist. I'm 30 now and when I was a teen at school the Kate Moss look was in. I was never overweight but people used to sing 'fat bottom girls you make the rocking world go round' at me and compared to what I saw on TV/Magazines I was huge and I was certainly 'the big one' in my friendship group. Now people say "your slim", "your tiny", "I wish I had you figure". I havent physically changed but in 10 years I've gone from being fat to skinny in societies perception. Its bizarre and tbh I'm not looking forward to when my body shape is 'out' again as it's a horrible place to be

I agree. I'm about 5'7 and a size 10 (well more like a 12 after lockdown probably) and I there are a couple of female colleagues who constantly comment on how 'slim' I am. I'm not slim, I'm just a normal size.

After I split with my abusive XH I lost a lot of weight, but in a terrible, unhealthy way. I didn't really eat for 3 months and got all my calories from wine and rubbish; they never shut up about how 'great' I looked despite the fact I was broken and suffering. It felt like the size of me was more important than what was going on inside : 'Who cares if you're in bits, you're so SKINNY'.

yanbu

I got accused of being too skinny and told I'm as tiny as a child - my BMI is 28, so right at the TOP end of the OVERWEIGHT category for crying out loud. I'm size 12 bottom 12/14 top.

Ridiculous.

How that person would view someone in the healthy category... their tiny mind must implode.

I've voted YABU as it feels like a stealth boast which is why pps were bored.

Me too, @HandsOffMyRights

see... comment on being too small and you are accused of stealth boast...

perfectly summarised the issue.

Of course it's a stealth boast...poor me, I'm so thin that all these disgusting fat people are so mean to me about it...why are they like that?! Head tilt...

As if slim people can't moan about people commenting on their weight. Give over.

Well i've learnt from this thread. I plant to never comment on a persons weight again, no matter which end of the scale unless they themselves bring it up.

Bmi is a very inaccurate method for may people. I like the new push back to waist measuring.

I have a BMI of 20 but my waist is over 31 inches meaning that I am at a higher risk of developing weight-related health problems. I wouldn't know this just looking at my BMI!

"There are many. They are in magazines too. But predominantly on social media. I once searched on insta plus size dress styles. Since then I have them in my suggestions. There are many. And they have hundreds of thousands followers+ each."

I could put photos of myself on Instagram right now and call myself a model. The reason you don't know any of the names of these apparently numerous morbidly obese models is because there really aren't any.

Ps although this COULD be a stealth boast I don't think it is.

I've had people comment on how scrawny I am, i'm all skin and bones etc

I am not scrawny!
I have a solid buxom frame and my thighs would never go through a cattle grid, let alone the rest of me!
Peoples perceptions have certainly shifted.

Ok.

I got accused of being too skinny and told I'm as tiny as a child - my BMI is 28, so right at the TOP end of the OVERWEIGHT category for crying out loud. I'm size 12 bottom 12/14 top.

I fear someone is mocking you.