was this rude? Anti social rather than social distancing.

[SunshineSuper]

DD & I dropped a present off to the Birthday Girl (BG). Young teens.

We went at 2.30pm, avoiding meal times.
No other cars on drive.
DD & friend have been messaging each other during lock down but have only seen each other briefly once. Lock down has been strict locally.
They have a lovely garden with lots of seating and the sun is shining.

We stood at a distance on the doorstep. Present handed over, BG said thank you, brief chat about weather with the Dad then they said good bye.

No questions about how we are, how my sick parent is, no letting the girls catch up.

I'm coming at this from having sociable kids that have really missed their friends and peers. I can do social chat for ten minutes with anyone but more importantly I'm looking for any safe way to make life more stimulating and fun for my children.

so YABU it's a pandemic, don't expect to be sitting in the garden even on a birthday. No invite.
YANBU anti social Birthday family dont want your uninvited company

Well personally I would have either invited you into the garden or explained why I couldn’t! (would have loved to but I’m working and can only spare 5 min etc!)

But to be frank I am not sure DH would have done. I would most likely say later ‘didn’t you offer them a coffee’ and he’d look completely mystified!

We’re all different.

We think a garden gathering will not go down well with a number of them

Op, if you invite the kids only I’m sure it will be fine. If you’re trying to make this about you socialising with the parents it likely won’t. You need to let her invite her friends and just her friends. And I mean this gently but you need to make your own friends.

And as for you thought she would be invited in for ten mins, you didn’t think this, you wanted to go in and socialise with the parents, her on her own might have been,

I get you want to be friends with them but it would be really best to let your daughter make and be with her with her own friends without you trying to make it about you.

Invite her friends for her birthday, but her friends, if you insist on tagging along or inc the parents she will not have friends for long.

I don't think that was rude. You just dropped by & we're in the middle of a pandemic.

I know the family well - no local family, two furloughed parents

But being furloughed doesn’t automatically mean ‘not busy and available at all times’.

DH is furloughed (and yes, I’m consumed with jealousy as I’m working like crazy), but he’s busy all day every day: homeschooling, doing all of the housework, laundry, cooking, etc., entertaining the DC after schooling, decorating & DIY (we’ve not lived here long and the house needs a lot of work), food shopping, exercising with the DC, etc. There’s not really any time of day where either of us are at a loose end and could invite a dropper-round in for tea and a chat.

One of the biggest differences in all of this is between the people with tonnes to do and no free time, and the people with a lot less on who have time to spare.

I know the family well - no local family, two furloughed parents

Yet you don't know them well enough to send a text to ask if it was ok to pop round or to ask if their DD and yours could have a catch up?

Plus no local family probably means lots of Skype/Facetime juggling with their relatives.

@SunshineSuper I hope your DD enjoys her birthday

My house gotten in a bit of a funk. We normally super social - well kids still are. Iv gotten myself in bit of a funk. If you tipped up at my door I'd prob do brief chit chat and go in. I'm just not in the headspace

"I thought my Dd's friend would love to see her on her birthday."

She might have done if you'd offered to drop her off for an hr or two?