Neighbour watching us

[akmum18]

Is it considered harassment if a neighbour is continuously watching you in your garden?
If we are outside and my daughter is playing, she is often standing on a chair in her garden watching us. She hides when I see her. She is often at her bathroom window looking down at us too. I asked if there was a problem and she ignored me.
We have 6 foot fences plus climbing plants so it isn’t an issue with accidentally noticing we are outside, she is purposely looking over to the point we notice her. Even when we aren’t outside I know she is looking into our garden to see if we are there. It’s making me very uncomfortable as we can’t enjoy our private space.
I caught her on my cctv looking into my front window several times. Even when I put my wheelie bin out she is at the window anticipating the time I do it so I now have to ‘change it up’ each week. She has an adult child and a teenage child who live with her but they never leave the house. I’m very confused why she is doing all this and what she is gaining by looking.
She is known for being a bit odd and refuses to engage in conversation with anyone so talking isn’t going to help and I don’t want to risk being seen as the person harassing. Am I unreasonable to report it to non emergency police to keep a record of this?
YABU - don’t report
YANBU - report

Oh, I would take a chair out and get up and wave at her every time I saw her doing it.

I would definitely talk to your other neighbours. I had a few strange encounters with a neighbour in our village when we first moved in. At first I just put it down to eccentricity and brushed it off but another neighbour happened to be out in the street when one of these happened and they came over later on that day to invite me for a cup of tea.
What they told me was enlightening, and definitely not gossip. It enabled me to approach this person differently and head off having to deal with him - and the whole family. It really was eccentricity but unfortunately with recent dementia meaning that the behaviours had escalated.
While we have kept our distance generally, there have been occasions where we had to step in (he got out and had a fall in a neighours garden, we had to alert his sons and help them get him home) and it was knowing some of the background that helped us deal with the ambulance service etc.

Certain other neighbours in the village hadn't been as lucky as me and got dragged into all sorts of drama before they found out that this family are best kept at arms length.

It may be that she has some mental health issues, but whatever the situation is if you can get a clearer picture from other neighbours it will help you figure out how to deal with it.

@Devlesko

jamandtonic

Reported.
People with mh issues whether anxiety or anything else are not nutcases
Unless you can tell us what you mean by nutcase, if it isn't mh related.

Oh don't be daft. in any case I have a family member with officially diagnosed severe anxiety so I am more than familiar with the condition. People with anxiety aren't likely to stand on a chair in the middle of their garden spying on people, and it was ridiculous of other pp's to suggest it. That sort of peculiar behaviour would be a different mental health condition entirely.

That sort of peculiar behaviour would be a different mental health condition entirely.

Which is why I reported, people with mh issues are not the word you used

@Devlesko Have you reported all the posts with the words 'odd', 'weird', 'creepy', 'strange', and 'disturbing', not to mention 'nosey bitch' as well? Or do you find all those descriptions of possible mh issues ok?

No, but you don't refer to someone with mh problems as a nutcase
Strangely enough I've never heard anyone say this at the surgery, patient is the usual term.

You can report it as a concern for welfare.

Your concerned for her welfare because she is not acting normal

Thanks everyone I decided we’d say hello every time we spot her but Unfortunately while we were discussing it (whispering) I heard her swear and slam the back door, so I presume she also listens to us from her side of the fence out of sight. This has creeped me out more than the spying as god knows what she hears and for how long she does it.
I guess she is aware we’re uncomfortable with it now which is a bonus, so I’ll have to wait and see if it stops.
On another note some of the neighbours I haven’t spoken to have stared at us oddly today while talking in a group (we were going for a walk, said hi and were blanked) so I’m paranoid there is gossip being spread too as they’ve never taken any notice of us before. What a day!

This would really creep me out and would be making a complaint of her behaviour to the council at least. You should be able to enjoy your outdoor space without wondering if someone is staring or listening to you.

Does it happen daily? Does she do this when your children are in the garden unsupervised?

If I was you, I would start taking notes of all these instances (dates, times, what happened and any witnesses - this is what I had to note for a nuisance neighbour) even if you don't want to involve anyone just yet. It will be useful to you if things escalate and need assistance from officials.

@akmum18 hopefully, now she’s aware, she will stop doing it. Is there any chance you were being a bit paranoid about the other neighbours? Have you see any of them today?

I'd take up topless sunbathing, or better still take up naturism, will soon stop her from staring!

In all honesty she sounds unwell. At around 50 early onset dementia is a possibility as is mental health problems and ptsd all could result in such behaviour. She is now at least aware that you are uncomfortable, it won't help neighbourhood cohesion but you will quickly see if she can help it.

I hoped it was paranoia but they done the same thing again today. I’ve never seen ndn go out so I don’t think she is responsible, but for all I know she could speak to them by phone. It’s all very strange and making our dream home seem like a huge mistake. I haven’t seen her looking today, but I have had my back to her side to avoid noticing. How do you just accept and live with knowing neighbours don’t like you when you haven’t even spoken to them or done anything wrong?

My neighbours are a bit odd. DP and I have only been in our house about a year and still not managed to speak to out next door neighbours (semi detached house) It's a couple about my age (29) and they look like rabbits caught in headlights if I say hello or DD smiles at them. The guy even sat in his car in his driveway and waited for us to go inside before he went in his door (our doors are right next to each other) DP and I think its hilarious so often test what makes them uncomfortable by offering to power wash their path while doing our own etc some people are just weird. I would go about your business and ignore her.

It's amazing what neighbors will invent about you. My previous neighbors had decided that my tenant (I have a guest house which I rent out) was a Hare Krishna and therefore not to be trusted....I think because he's bald. On the other hand they were totally enamored of the neighbor on the other side of me whom they didn't realize was a big time drug dealer.

Current neighbors have accused my tenants of potentially spying on their children. However the scenario they are imagining consists of the tenants getting on their hands and knees and pressing their face up to a vine covered chain link fence which is on a 30 foot high retaining wall. I have not commented on the cameras surrounding their house, several of which are pointed at my house, garden and driveway.

Have you tried dropping off a bunch of flowers and a little note to some of your neighbors (not the spying one)?

Time to practice your moves, OP.

Have a poo In a potty or in your gàrden if your green fingered. Bet she will stop then 😂

I would be a bit more tactful - beryl be careful you might fall off
Talk to her op -it sounds like she is very isolated
(frankly at the moment we are all nosey because of our isolation & boredom - otherwise, we might be digging out the patios dh!,)

How bloody weird. Could you ask the other neighbours being odd if there’s an issue?

She just sounds nosey! Can't believe you are seriously considering calling the police! My neighbour two doors down said she loves hearing the sounds of my kids playing in the garden as she doesn't get to see her grand kids much as they are abroad.

Until you mentioned the other neighbours all being odd op I was with you, now I’m wondering if maybe you’re over sensitive and are imagining things. Could she have been standing on her chair for another reason, Ie to reach something, or just happened to be looking out her window?

I get it with one neighbour behaving oddly. But when you start posting they are all at it. Then I do have to ask if maybe the issue is you’re imagining it?

Moon her