Neighbour watching us

[akmum18]

Is it considered harassment if a neighbour is continuously watching you in your garden?
If we are outside and my daughter is playing, she is often standing on a chair in her garden watching us. She hides when I see her. She is often at her bathroom window looking down at us too. I asked if there was a problem and she ignored me.
We have 6 foot fences plus climbing plants so it isn’t an issue with accidentally noticing we are outside, she is purposely looking over to the point we notice her. Even when we aren’t outside I know she is looking into our garden to see if we are there. It’s making me very uncomfortable as we can’t enjoy our private space.
I caught her on my cctv looking into my front window several times. Even when I put my wheelie bin out she is at the window anticipating the time I do it so I now have to ‘change it up’ each week. She has an adult child and a teenage child who live with her but they never leave the house. I’m very confused why she is doing all this and what she is gaining by looking.
She is known for being a bit odd and refuses to engage in conversation with anyone so talking isn’t going to help and I don’t want to risk being seen as the person harassing. Am I unreasonable to report it to non emergency police to keep a record of this?
YABU - don’t report
YANBU - report

Every time you spot her spying on you, just give her a big big wave, smile and shout HELLO DOROTHY.

Using a different name each time. :-}

Before the watching started, when you were at the "morning, nice day" stage of neighbour interaction, did anything strange happen?
Who has told you she's a bit odd?

I have to admit my first reaction to this was to flash (not v grown up!)

We have a neighbour who does this....she has onset dementia...

Keep a record of everytime she does it and plant a big old pyracantha outside your front window.

Well, if she goes inside and slams the door when you wave then carry on doing that every time you see her .

Or run a washing line quite high and hang sheets on it as a barrier.

As soon as we moved in she was a bit strange, she’s never once returned pleasantries! I was concerned I’d offended her so I spoke to her neighbour who had introduced themselves and they told us to avoid her. She’d fallen out with someone because they walked past her house too much apparently, but I didn’t pry as I don’t want to appear bitchy and gossipy to anyone as it’s our forever home.
Of course it could be worse than staring at us but it happens so often I’m aware of it and can ‘feel’ when she’s watching without even looking these days. I personally couldn’t think of anything more boring than standing at my window all day.
Flashing crossed my mind too don’t worry

That would drive me nuts too

but frankly, what can you say? She is absolutely entitled to be sitting in her garden, with a chair facing your side. There's absolutely no reason why she can't watch outside from her own window.

As long as she is not trespassing and is on her own property - and not actively climbing a ladder to look in your place, there's nothing you can say. Just wave cheerfully maybe?

Set up some motion sensors near the fence..
Shower time Beryl...

Whenever she looks over at you take out your phone or camera and photograph her.

If she asks why say that you are recording her looking at you.

I agree with PP. every-time you see her make a big deal of waving and asking if you can help her

I would just say “Mind you don’t fall off your chair” every time she’s stood on it. Then ignore it

Hose pipe to the face, every time 🤣

Do a pointed wave at her every time.

That's what I do when people walking outside my house stare in.

😂 you lot are hilarious thanks for cheering me up

Janice, OP says the neighbour is standing on the chair in her garden to look.

OP, I would find that creepy and unnerving. I’d be very tempted to call out to her directly, telling her that I was aware that she was always watching me and that I expected her to stop because I considered it a gross invasion of privacy. I would also put the same in a robustly written note.

I don’t know whether it comes under stalking behaviour or not, but maybe the way to find out could be to call the police 101 number just to ask for advice there.

Are there any obvious signs of family who visit?

I do like some of the other responses though. Perhaps have an “accident” when watering your garden with the hose.

I think I’d bea bit concerned at the others living there but not being seen out at all, do you see or hear them at all? Do you think they are ok?

@SpookyNoise

We had a neighbour like this a few years back. He used to stand, hand on hips, in the window staring at us. We moved.

I have one of these. I waved back at him once and he hasn't done it to me much since, although my NDN says she still sees him looking in on their garden sometimes. Spooky indeed!

But why aren't you standing on a chair in your garden @akmum18?

Better yet, why aren't all your family standing on chairs ...

Next time you see her, microwave some popcorn and hand it over the fence.

@Embracelife

just smile and wave. Why dies it bother you?

Seriously? You'd be cool with being constantly watched?

I am sure she is a bit unwell rather than plotting your demise, but tbh I'd want to move. I wouldn't be able to ignore this.

Sorry to say my mil was like this - transpired she was in the early stages of Alzheimer’s.
I suspect that some part of your behaviour has her transfixed or transports her back to happier times. I guess that watching you is for her a simpler version of tv minus the sound. My money would be on your child and her own memories of early parenting.

That’s doesn’t make it any less disturbing for you and I don’t have any solutions to offer, just that it might make you feel happier in that it might not be malicious.