Stopping drinking for a while

[Patbutcherismyhero]

Throughout lockdown I've gradually started drinking more and more. I now usually only have one day off a week. Last night I drank way too much and was sick, slept terribly and today I just feel awful mentally and physically. I need to cut back. It's become far too much far too often.

I hate waking in the night with anxiety and having to check my phone to if I put any shit on social media. I don't usually get hangovers but I always feel tired and lacking in motivation. Alcohol has become such a big part of my life but I know it's not healthy and I really need to stop for a while. Anyone else?

Morning all, it's really kind of everyone to share their experiences and lend support. I'm so glad I got through the evening. Good luck for the weekend everyone and remember every drink not drank is an improvement. Be kind to yourselves. I hope the weather breaks enough to get out for a walk or the boredom will really test me.

I almost cracked last night, I had done a full days work mostly desk based but got a call from one of our site managers saying the shit had hit the fan ( our team are specialists cleaners that work to keep sites completely dust free ) and there was a system failure which meant there was dust everywhere it took 5 of us 4 hours to restore the room most of the time we are working on ladders which make my calf's and feet ache . I got home at 9 pm .
I got a can out of the fridge made some toast sat down and fell asleep before eating or drinking , I would not recommend this method to abstain

Morning all, just checking in... well done to posters who have hung in there. I would find it really hard if someone else in the house was drinking. I slept ten hours last night, normally I survive on 5/6 hours so can't quite believe it. Day 18 and it's as if my body has finally become to trust me.

Hi everyone. Sorry for the radio silence from me this week. I'll be honest I've had a rubbish week. Ended up drinking pretty much every night. I don't feel dreadful but the scales say I've put on roughly 5lb in the last few weeks which is fucking ridiculous. I've been eating badly and drinking a lot so I really need to get a grip of both.

It's embarrassing when I started the thread to have failed so spectacularly this week while the rest of you have done so well. But I will start again and hopefully have a better week. I did get invited out yesterday with friends and declined because I knew it would lead to a binge drinking session in the newly opened pubs and I'd wake up feeling hungover so that's one small win I guess.

Oh Pat don't be so hard on yourself or feel a kind of responsibility because you started the thread. It is really hard, and I've promised myself at least 5 times in the past year I'd stop but never had more than 2 nights off, it's just this time something seems to have clicked with me.

Well done on not going out yesterday. I started the 16/8 diet - where you only eat during an 8 hour window (I do 11-7) when I stopped drinking and this helps also with not drinking as I can't have the calories after 7pm. It's working well.

Just be kind to yourself, I know from past experience that giving yourself a hard time leads to more drinking because you feel like shit. Maybe pick some smaller achievable goals for the week ahead and really work at them? You can then increase as you have success

Thanks @fluckityfluckfluck - i will try my best to have a AF week. I sometimes find that if I get off to a bad start by drinking on a Monday it sets a precedent for the rest of the week and I just think oh sod it I'll try again next week. But if I take it one day at a time and just try to have as many consecutive AF days as possible I think it will help.

Glad to see you're starting to see the benefits. You have done really well. I've had a very boring, quiet weekend with ds at his dads and nothing else to do but drink and eat crap. I definitely need to find ways to fill that trigger time between 6-8pm and then maybe I will have some more success.

I've not had my kids since Wednesday and I have always just drank through the time without them. I find having ritual with AF alternatives help. I also started watching The Outlander which is amazing! Try tracking your AF days on your phone calendar (I add a heart emoji) and then over time you can see the days add up and the successes you've had x

Pat I have been rubbish too, I have only had 2 AF nights when I usually have 3! I have drunk a bit less than normal though, so that is something.

@Patbutcherismyhero I don't think you should feel bad at all! It's really, really hard. Agree with @fluckityfluckfluck that beating yourself up will only make you more likely to think fuck it, and have a drink. Be kind to yourself instead, this stuff is not easy.

Thanks guys. It's just a big lifestyle change for me. I'm so used to it. I've thought about getting some replacement, non alcoholic drinks but the fact is I like the feeling that booze gives me. That's why I drink. I drink to get pissed. Not falling down drunk but that nice buzz that just chills you out after a day of work and kids and dogs and housework. It's that feeling I miss when I don't drink.

But bloody hell I can't keep putting weight on like this. I need some healthier pastimes.

Completely with you. Have always had a ‘good’ drink at least once a week with the following days hangover. With lockdown, wfh (so no getting up and rushing around and driving the next day) I’ve been drinking more regularly. Not loads every night. But either a couple glasses of wine or a few beer, and the. once a week a full bottle wine and some vodkas.
A few times these past few weeks I’ve thought I need to have a break. Fed up of losing one day on a weekend to feeling crap. Am bloated (have put on a few pounds too in lockdown).
So woke up Saturday (after a night of rubbish sleep and felt the usual anxiety and no motivation and tired all day) ... and decided to give up for 4 weeks. Just 4 weeks. Going to cut my carbs as well (non drinking should help that too) and just see how I feel in 4 weeks and if it’s made a difference.
So I’ll be on this journey with you. Best of luck :-) ! X

Happy Monday all - anyone want to list their goals for this week? I have zero plans so nothing to make AF harder than the usual. Have wed/thurs/fri night child free so those will be my danger points. I'm hoping to get out for a walk after work those days as it will stop me reaching for a bottle (s).

I may try and venture out into the real world too. I haven't even been in a supermarket during lockdown as my anxiety has been so bad.

Morning @fluckityfluckfluck. A new week is here! No aims for me as such, I've decided to take it one day at a time and see how I go. I would love to stay AF throughout the week then maybe have a few at the weekend. I think that's a sensible goal for me.

I've got so much respect for those of you who have just stopped completely. Maybe one day that will be me. For now I would be happy with a big reduction but looking to the future it would be nice to stop pretty much completely.

I've been thinking a lot about my relationship with alcohol and it's played a big part in my life for as long as I can remember. I started drinking in school. It was a weekly tradition to save up our dinner money and get an older friend to buy us bottles of cider from the off license which we'd drink in the park or in someone's garden. College and university (in fact most of my 20s) featured alcohol and binge drinking every weekend as a social thing. I calmed down a lot when I had dc as it meant going out less and at that time I was never one for drinking at home much. But my dp drinks throughout the week and when we got together and the kids were a bit older I started following his habits. He buys the booze so it never leaves me out of pocket and it's just so easy to do. My family are also big drinkers and if ever we go out for a meal or gathering it always includes sharing a few bottles of wine. In some ways I feel I can't escape it.

Booze for me has been a constant presence in many guises throughout my life. I'm totally over the binge drinking, messy nights out where I've repeatedly made a fool of myself and been full of anxiety and sick as a dog the next day. But now I need to gradually cut back on the daily, comfort, moderate drinking at home too. It feels more acceptable than binge drinking but it's still making me fat and unhealthy.

Wow this was longer than expected!! How is everyone else doing today?

Morning all.

@Patbutcherismyhero I'm really glad you started the thread and I don't judge you at all for what you are or aren't drinking. Just keep in touch. I have a very similar drinking history to yours, it's been since a teenager and I'm surrounded by a lot of heavy drinkers (or have chosen to surround myself with them). Now I find myself one of the heavier drinkers and I don't find it funny getting all the birthday cards of "one prosecco, two prosecco, three prosecco, floor" ETC. I think going back through your past and identifying your patterns, history, things that are potential difficulties (other people who are drinkers in your life) is really useful.

Well done to those who managed an alcohol free weekend.

I was not one of those people; I'm not sure if I'm pleased or annoyed. I had 2 glasses of wine on Saturday night after wrestling with it all day. I stopped at 2 which hasn't happened for a long time.
We went out for a meal yesterday and I also had 2 glasses of wine. I wanted to open more when I got home and carry on but I didn't. I drank water. I had a buzz from it. I rode it and enjoyed it for what it was. So that leaves me a week of 8 units, which frankly hasn't happened in too long (pregnancy aside). I'm pleased in some ways, but stressed I couldn't do a whole week AF. And also how much damn headspace it takes up, thinking about alcohol. Mind you, it's the same with diets isn't it (but damn, you get a hell of a lot more judgement around alcohol than you do food issues!)

Have a good week all. My plan is to be AF Mon to Thurs, and Sunday.

Morning all! My aim is AF Mon-thurs this week and to drink less Fri-Sun. I have put on 7lbs over lock down and am sure most of this is due to too much booze.

Pat my siblings are all big drinkers, one sibling can drink me under the table several times over. I understand exactly what you mean.

Sauvignonismysaviour eight units is very good! I'd be really happy if I could get down to that. At the moment it is 25-30 for me, which is really, really bad.

Also, thank you all for being non-judgemental on this thread.

You are not alone. My fiancé and I thought lockdown would only last a few weeks so we decided to enjoy it and eat and drink what we liked. A few weeks ago, when we realised this was likely to go on for a fair while longer, we gave ourselves a cut off date and started being more accountable. We've started calorie counting again and doing more regular exercise, I only drink and eat crap now if I can afford to within my calories.

Morning all! My intention for this week is to stay firmly AF until Friday and then see how I feel. Friday is my birthday and, whilst we won't be doing anything more exciting than getting a takeaway, I am comfortable with the fact that I may also decide to have a drink then. I'm going to try not to overthink it though!

I said to DH the other day that that's where I'd like to get to with my drinking - to be absolutely able to take it or leave it, regardless of the occasion. I want to break the connection between booze and fun/celebration/relaxation and know that I can do/feel all those things without needing a glass of wine in my hand to make it feel 'real'. I don't know that I need or even want to give it up completely (I change my mind about this daily!) but I would just really like it to not ever be A Thing anymore.

I've now had 9 AF days on the trot and undoubtedly I'm starting to feel better. My sleep has improved over the last couple of nights and I'm starting to have more energy during the day. Yesterday I deep-cleaned and rearranged the kitchen (including the dreaded tupperware cupboard ) and spent the rest of the day baking; usually Sundays would mean a sofa day recovering from my hangover. Not exactly rock'n'roll I know, but that's got to be a win!

Good luck to everyone this week, one day at a time remember.

I only had two bottles of beer all weekend. I'm taking that as a win.

@BoxAndKnife i totally get the lack of motivation after weekend drinking. There are so many things I hoped to do during lockdown - clear outs, reorganising rooms, decorating but I've had no motivation and it's even worse after a heavy night drinking.

All I want to do is lounge around watching TV, eating crap and looking at my phone. But waking up after a few days AF is great because I feel motivated and ready to crack on and do useful stuff!

I was drinking every night at one stage and I knew that it was too much. I had cut right back to only drinking at the weekend and I had noticed that I feel much better in the week and then much worse at weekends. I am so unproductive at the weekend as I literally cannot be bothered to do anything. I don't get hangovers (never have), so it's not that but I just feel lethargic and lazy and my mind feels sluggish.

What I have started doing, which sounds weird but does work, is to clean my teeth when I go for my bath at about 8.30pm. I normally don't have a drink until 9pm anyway. After I have cleaned my teeth I don't want to drink alcohol. On Friday I only had one glass of wine and to be honest I really didn't want it, it's just habit ( because of course you HAVE to have a drink on a Friday!). So I did the same on Saturday and Sunday night and didn't drink at all, because I just didn't fancy it. I had cold water instead.

I know this sounds really daft and I can't see any logical reason for not wanting alcohol after teeth cleaning but it seems to work for me.

I came back from a walk/jog earlier, sun was shining in the garden and I went on full on autopilot for a beer. Realised after I'd opened the fridge and grabbed a Heineken zero. Only have two left, def would have cracked if they weren't there. Back on the sparkling water now

Well done fluckity! I have had dinner and the urge for a glass of wine has gone now, I find it often does once I have eaten.

Quit like a girl stresses the need for regular snacking and replacing the habit of a drink.... all so easy until you have to remember to do it! I've accepted an invite to a house warming/40th in a few weekends time - not sure how I feel about that or if I hope to be still AF free then. Almost scary to contemplate. Might just stay in self imposed lockdown

Morning all ,
@Patbutcherismyhero dont feel too bad about having a drink , its bloody tough giving it up .
I have found it easier to give up when I have a substitute that I like so I was on Ghost ship last night but like everyone else it seems to be getting over that 'drink oclock time' that is hard.
I need something to occupy my mind and hands around that time , I will be spending most of my days on my feet at work this week so going for a walk does not appeal at all .