Stopping drinking for a while

[Patbutcherismyhero]

Throughout lockdown I've gradually started drinking more and more. I now usually only have one day off a week. Last night I drank way too much and was sick, slept terribly and today I just feel awful mentally and physically. I need to cut back. It's become far too much far too often.

I hate waking in the night with anxiety and having to check my phone to if I put any shit on social media. I don't usually get hangovers but I always feel tired and lacking in motivation. Alcohol has become such a big part of my life but I know it's not healthy and I really need to stop for a while. Anyone else?

What about a puzzle? I do large 1000 piece jigsaws called wasgijs where the pic on the cover is only as clue as to what the puzzle is... I love them

Morning all. 2 days off the booze for me. Managed to get past the witching hour last night. Will try and keep pushing forward although I have accepted an invite to the pub at the weekend with some friends and there's no way I can avoid drinking then. If I can just keep it to a sensible amount rather than getting silly like I often do in these scenarios I'll be happy.

Well done @Patbutcherismyhero1

What would happen if you didn't drink at the weekend? Would your friends be weird about it, or would you feel like you were missing out, etc? No judgement at all, just curious. I would have the same issue I think!

Stepped on the scales this morning...have put weight on! Bloody hellfire, that's not part of the plan! Must be all the chocolate-eating and booze-substitute-baking I've been doing.

Hmm BoxAndKnife I might have to rethink my plan to replace booze with cake and a cup of tea!

@BoxAndKnife I don't think they would be unpleasant about it but a lot of our social gatherings involve booze and it would seem odd to them it I didn't participate. And I think I will struggle to sit in a pub for a few hours and just drink coke to be honest! I'm fine with the occasional drink, it's the habitual everyday drinking I need to cut back on and the manic, binge drinking myself into an embarrassing mess that I need to stop altogether. My plan for the weekend is to eat plenty, limit my drinks and have a few soft drinks in between to make sure I don't go too crazy.

And yes to the over eating. Whenever I stop drinking I tend to substitute with snacks. I still think it's probably less calorific than booze though. It's crazy just how fattening alcohol is.

Can I join please? I have a propensity to drink too much and easily fell back into it when lockdown began. I’m back to half a bottle of wine on a Friday and another half on a Saturday, which is fine but god it’s hard not drinking during the week when I’m working from home, with no gym, theatre, cinema in the evening.

Yep, I’m a boredom inspired drinker.

Welcome @TazSyd
What are you going to do to relieve the boredom instead? I've been reading a lot which I'm enjoying.

Well done for 2 clear days @Patbutcherismyhero, bet that feels good.

I feel like I've put some boundaries in place for myself. Really simple but I've decided I'm not drinking Mon to Thurs. And that's what I want to stick to; not negotiable! Last week it was fine. No trouble this week so far (though it's only Tuesday). I didn't buy much alcohol in the weekly shop because - same with double deckers - if it's there, I'll be on it.

Like someone else further up the thread, I just want to be that nonchalant drinker - who just has a glass at a special occasion, or is happy to be the driver, who can take it or leave it. I am not that drinker and I'm not sure I ever will be. But hell, I feel so much more judged and guilty for drinking 30 or 40 units a week than I did when I ate too much.

This is such a wonderfully supportive thread. Thanks to each and every one of you.

Hi. Started my own thread and was suggested this place . Can't even do a day without wine

Hi @biscbek - no judgement here. It's really hard and there are a lot of us who are struggling in lockdown. Why do you think you drink? Is it boredom? Habit? To relieve stress?

Hi, it's boredom and loneliness .
I work from home , partner works away, no family or friends live nearby as I've just moved to be with partner.
But I've drank for years too much to be honest .

Hello. In terms of my story, I used to drink way too much when I lived by myself, before DP and DD came along. I was younger then and used to go out a couple of nights a week and then drink a bottle of wine when I was in by myself. My excuse was that I had a stressful job and I needed it to unwind. I started to feel tired all the time so managed to gradually wean myself off the booze. When lockdown hit, I was suddenly working from home, DP on furlough, so we fell straight back into drinking every night, as we didn’t have much else to do.

I soon realised it could become a problem again and started setting boundaries around drinking. We also gave ourselves lists of things to do instead of drink. We’re on series 7 of Game if Thrones (yes we are late to the party on this one), have a list of films and documentaries, bought a number of books/kindle to get through, a list of housework tasks, recipes we want to try. We both also play online scrabble and we have both done some online work related certifications. I also find prebooking video calls with friends and family for after dinner is good, it puts you off drinking as you don’t want to be slurring. If it’s not raining then an evening walk is good, especially if you can meet a friend to do it and have it as a regular occurrence at a set time - you don’t want to drink and not show up.

We now drink a bottle of wine on a Friday and one on Saturday (so half each on both nights). Which is what we were doing for years before lockdown. If either of us suggest drinking in another night, the other gets the list out and suggests doing something from the above list.

Hi @TazSyd . I have all these good intentions . I really tried today . Thought I was doing well then 4 o'clock came and I felt like a caged animal I think it's gone past the stage of me doing it by myself tbh x

@biscbek

It’s ok, it’s a marathon not a sprint. Take each day one at a time.

There are two online support resources that you can access immediately. Alcoholics Anonymous and SMART recovery. Some people prefer smart because it is non secular. They are both holding online meetings.

Both are anonymous. You don’t even have to say anything. You can just listen. I think you’ve taken a big step by posting for help and there is help out there.

@TazSyd Thankyou . You've been very kind . x

Well then you are amazing for having been able to reach that conclusion yourself Bisc, especially while caught in the cycle of drinking every day. What's your next step? Have you done any reading? Allen Carr easy way to quit is often recommended. I've the audiobook of Quit like a girl that I'm enjoying to and from work and on walks.

Keep posting - we are all battling the same demons in different shapes and sizes

Well then you are amazing for having been able to reach that conclusion yourself Bisc, especially while caught in the cycle of drinking every day. What's your next step? Have you done any reading? Allen Carr easy way to quit is often recommended. I've the audiobook of Quit like a girl that I'm enjoying to and from work and on walks.

Keep posting - we are all battling the same demons in different shapes and sizes

I've applied for a couple of part time jobs to get me out and less isolated . When my partner is home I can actually go a couple of days without alcohol ad I have company and so I think I could do it if I changed my lifestyle . x

@biscbek

On the other thread, you said you usually started drinking at lunchtime but today you didn’t start until 4pm. That’s a step in the right direction too 💐.

@TazSyd yes. I'm going to try for five tomorrow and so on x

Hi bisbek, I saw your thread, glad you have hopped onto this one.

@biscbek

If you want to, you can phone drink line on 0800 917 8282. They are open until 11 and you don’t have to give them your name.

I remember the feeling you described. I used to walk home from work, often at 7pm and I had almost / possibly a physical craving for alcohol, definitely an emotional one. It was also a habit. It was hard work shifting my mindset too. For me I didn’t just stop suddenly, I just started cutting down. I remember I used to have a couple of routes home from work, so that I could go to a different supermarket each night, didn’t even want the check out staff to notice I drank every day, I clearly knew I had a problem before I did anything about it.

@biscbek & @TazSyd
It sounds like you both have had a tough time with booze.
I found it was very easy to slip into 'just one, cos I have earned it ' kind of mode early last year .
The year before had been a very tough one and I had enough of putting a brave face on things I just wanted to wallow in self pity so I did and wrecked me .
I realised it was getting the better of me when I filled in a online questionnaire about heath ( just one them shopping censor type ones ) and I lied on it ,
Once I filled it in I though what the fuck , I am lying to someone who I am never going to have any contact with ever again.
I knew then that it was starting to control me so I stopped for two weeks .
It was bloody tough but at the time I was working very long hrs so most days I just came home made some toast and went to bed .

Now I make a point of stopping for a couple of weeks every now and then , it is still hard some days but i promise it does get easier .

I'm awake since 3 am , and had a horrific headache yesterday evening. Today is day 21 - could it be related to the AF do you think? Feeling very sorry for myself as have busy rest of week at work, feeling vulnerable re wine as kids go to their dads today.

Sorry to hear that @fluckityfluckfluck. It could be related, or you just be coming down with something I guess. However, I feel crap today as well - could not get out of bed this morning, head hurts, stomach hurts, feel just generally bleaugh. I did two yoga classes yesterday as well so what with that and the AF, DH said it must be all the toxins leaving my body

Thankful that I'm WFH and can take it easy-ish today but I feel vile.

Hope you feel better soon