Stopping drinking for a while

[Patbutcherismyhero]

Throughout lockdown I've gradually started drinking more and more. I now usually only have one day off a week. Last night I drank way too much and was sick, slept terribly and today I just feel awful mentally and physically. I need to cut back. It's become far too much far too often.

I hate waking in the night with anxiety and having to check my phone to if I put any shit on social media. I don't usually get hangovers but I always feel tired and lacking in motivation. Alcohol has become such a big part of my life but I know it's not healthy and I really need to stop for a while. Anyone else?

Try and see that 2 guns is still probably better than what you would have consumed Pat, but I understand it's not nice to not be able to go AF when you said you would. I really find the seedlip takes that edge off as it's the same process as making a gin - use a big glass of ice and garnish etc and it tastes lovely, might be worth a try?

Can anyone link to the Sainsbury's AF Prosecco that's nice please? I have a friend calling this weekend that would normally mean a big drinking session for us both, this may help

I stopped for 100 days ( it’s a thing!) and told everyone and just got on with it. I can’t tell you how amazing it felt after a couple of weeks. Anxiety manageable - gone almost, lots of energy, slept like a baby, looked great - less red and puffy in the face.
Afterwards I went back to drinking but a fraction of what I was drinking, it really gave me perspective - try it!

My first big ‘test’ was 5 days in with a weekend away with my booziest friends. I took along some AF beers/ cider for the house and they didn’t even notice. I though, I’ll do it tonight and see about tomorrow night. Anyway, we had a cracking Friday night, really good laugh and on the Sat I woke up hangover free and early - went for a nice walk as they were all rotten - and got back and made everyone breakfast. Having no hangover was amazing and I was so glad I didn’t feel as bad as my mates who were all struggling a bit.
No hangovers or 4am anxiety for 3 months is a revelation...

There’s a website called Drydrinker for AF wines and beers etc - it’s very good. I also found drinking those posh Fevertree mixers in tins helped - there’s something about opening the little can, pouring over ice, throwing in a bit of lemon that makes it feel more grown up than other soft drinks.

This is a really great thread and notable for the lack of judgement.

As someone who has had first hand experience of addiction counselling etc, my only thought was that some of the folk who say "I'll only have a couple of gins instead of a bottle of wine" may struggle to reach their ultimate goal of removing dependency, if that is the goal.

Dependency and addiction are such funny insidious things. The monkey on your shoulder that says "it's ok to have one or two, it's not as bad" may also be the same creature that previously allowed a bottle a night. I've always found that to gain total control, a period of abstinence, even just for a week or two, is the only way.

Reddit has a great stopdrinking thread. Huge membership, ranges from really dependent drinkers to those knowing they're overdoing it. You can post daily saying you won't drink for that day. I found it very motivating and supportive and did a few months. Then reverted as found the social pressure to drink relentless... So annoying. But highly recommend. There are several great books about this and I think he trend among young people is to drink less.

I'm thinking of committing to 100 days 😬. I don't really trust myself with this aimless day by day....

@fluckityfluckfluck you've done well, I'm sure you could do it. Although sometimes I think it's easier to give yourself permission to drink and then you find that you just aren't that bothered. Setting a challenge might feel like you're forcing or depriving yourself which could make the craving of something 'forbidden' worse iyswim. But different things work for everyone so go for it.

To the pp who mentioned Catherine Gray I have read her book and I also listened to the podcast with Fearne cotton last week. Made a lot of sense to me. I like how honest she is although I can't really resonate with her glitzy lifestyle.

I think when lockdown eases and I can get back to busier days things will improve. At the moment it's become part of the daily tradition to have a drink at a certain time. Maybe I need to find more productive things to do in the evening!

@fluckityfluckfluck I committed to that and found it easier because I was aiming for something. And I could just tell friends - I'm doing 100 days and they didn't bother me about it.
There was a lot of 'I could never do that', 'I wish I could do that', and "how are you feeling, is it amazing?' etc. but only one friend thought it was pointless and I was a 'loser' for not drinking. And yup, you've guessed it - she's the one with issues with alcohol who has to get wasted every weekend.

Also - in lockdown, I think it's almost easier in many ways as it wouldn't affecting my social life as I haven't really got one other than the occasional 'beer' now in the park! And as the kids are usually there too it seems to keep everyone on the moderate side. I did a dry 6 weeks during LD as I realised I was creeping back up on drinking, and that was a subconscious just not having a drink day by day thing and suddenly it was 6 weeks.
Then we got to met friends again and we celebrated in the park with a glass of fizz.
I

Yes Pat have thought the same... might just keep count myself and see

Thanks Penguin. I def don't want to say not drinking again but I need to reset, definitely had slipped into some very bad habits - need a new normal

There is SO much judgement around drinking issues. MN threads are really quite bonkers sometimes and it's nice to be on one that is just supportive and understands the pressures.

It's either 'OMG how can you even let a drop pass your lips before your kids are 25, don't you know you might need to take them to A&E AT ANY TIME???!??!??!?>?' or 'OMG you tedious loser, don't you know it's MUMMY'S WINE O'CLOCK lolololololol???!???>?!>?!>?!?'

My own truth is that, booze has just stopped being fun in any way for me. It probably never was really, if I look back honestly, but in my 20s it was ok because, y'know, it was still 'rite of passage' stuff. But now, as 50 looms on the horizon, I need to get a grip on it. I am so over being puffy, sore, knackered, grumpy, unproductive, shattered, embarrassed. And I pay good money to feel that way? Seriously? It's absolutely insane.

But it's so hard. No one who's slipped up should feel bad. We're fighting decades of indoctrination, peer pressure, social pressure, marketing spend, after all. Drinking is cool and liberating. It's fine to drink every day. Red wine is literally a health food!

Except, it's not. It makes you feel like shit, look like shit, spend money you probably don't have and for some of us it has far far more serious consequences. There's absolutely nothing booze offers us that we actually need.

Ugh, apologies for the rant. I slept better last night

That's a brilliant post, BoxAndKnife.

I don't drink Monday - Wednesday usually, and my brain mainly accepts that (although it finds excuses some weeks) but Thurs to Sun is another matter. I would like to go AF for a couple of weeks and take it from there. I did try a couple of weeks ago, but cracked by the Friday of the first week!

I think I have found my people. Hi - can I jump on please?

My drinking has been creeping up over the years really. Alcohol free nights seem to become fewer and fewer. And my tolerance seems to be increasing now to the point I can drink a bottle of wine and it's not enough. In lockdown we've been drinking earlier, and more frequently, and I'm finding it harder to go more than 2 days without a glass of something.

Since the start of the year I've been rather aware of how much I drink. I have spent so much time trying to justify and normalise it but it doesn't change that it's too much, and isn't good for me. An average weeks units can be in the 30s or even 40s (or my birthday week which was in the 50s). It's too much for me and I'm tired of thinking about drinking.

I didn't drink last night, and I am not going to drink tonight.

And I guess I better change my user name...

Welcome Sauvignon and other newbies... I've finished the unexpected joy this morning and boxclever so much of your post is echoed through it. Yes - we pay a lot to feel crap and poison ourselves and yet I can't even contemplate wanting to stop forever.... wtf is that about

Same here @fluckityfluckfluck
I am constantly making excuses for alcohol and ways to incorporate it into my life.

I think "what if I gave up for 30 days?" and then there's always a reason not to. My latest bullshit has been "well I eat healthily, maybe my liver is better than people who eat really unhealthily"! It's crazy.

I try and make my self have alcohol free days Sunday, Monday and Tuesday and sometimes Wednesday (it’s quite a recent thing), but for me there there is something inside which says “it’s the weekend and wine o clock” and it’s all down hill.

Can I join in this thread please? I am desperate to stop my wine habit. I don't drink at all during the day, but drink wine to get to sleep. I am drinking more and more, until I finish up having almost a bottle a night. DH doesn't help at all. He is also a heavy drinker (during the day). He does our online order, and is ordering about 12 bottles a week, so it is always available. I know I have to cut down but don't know how to. Thanks for reading.

Dear all, I was you several years ago. Always trying to moderate in different ways. I drank too much but was functioning ok. Moderation is much much harder than abstinence. I finally stopped drinking on March 12th 2016 - and I haven't looked back.

I was drinking a bottle of a wine a night - and I felt like many of you feel ... the anxiety about what I might have said / done. The awful shame.

Life without alcohol is just SO much better - its tough at the beginning, especially emotionally, but the rewards are definitely worth it

I make myself have 5 alcohol free days a week then allow myself to drink Friday and Saturday. Made this a conscious decision when my overall drinking was creeping up.

This is relatively easy when I'm at work as the thought of getting up early and going to into work not feeling 100% is a good deterrent!

I don't tend to stick to this as well during the holidays and I really let things go during lock down. Decided to get a grip and am more or less back on track for 5 days off, 2 days on.

It works for me and I have definitely cut down overall as a result.

Well, didn't drink last night so 1 day done

I am missing my usual excuses:
"I'll drive" - not going anywhere!
"I've got work in the morning" - been made redundant

Then am getting annoyed at myself that I need an excuse...

Afternoon, I’m going to join in too. As a single parent working from home during lockdown I’ve been drinking way too much. Virtually every night and often a bottle, more at weekends. I’m never that drunk, I don’t do stupid things but i know it’s really bad for me......didn’t drink last night. Slept dreadfully and have a headache now

First night was never going to be easy...well done for taking that step. What a nice little group we have - but I'm sorry so many of us are in this crap position at the same time. I've ordered some of the AF Prosecco for the weekend, will report back x

@Randomfires I get that too. You'd think you'd sleep better after not drinking but I think after a prolonged period of drinking it can have the opposite effect. I tend to always stay AF on a Sunday/Monday and never sleep particularly well.