Stopping drinking for a while

[Patbutcherismyhero]

Throughout lockdown I've gradually started drinking more and more. I now usually only have one day off a week. Last night I drank way too much and was sick, slept terribly and today I just feel awful mentally and physically. I need to cut back. It's become far too much far too often.

I hate waking in the night with anxiety and having to check my phone to if I put any shit on social media. I don't usually get hangovers but I always feel tired and lacking in motivation. Alcohol has become such a big part of my life but I know it's not healthy and I really need to stop for a while. Anyone else?

I don’t like sweet drinks at all. So I usually drink red wine or beer!!!
Gin with ginger beer sometimes.
But not really spirits.

I’m 2.5 stone overweight. I saw a photo of myself the other day and realised not only am I a proper fat person. But I’ve got a huge belly and a puffy face. And I’m single and no ones going to want to date a Middle aged old soak

@Patbutcherismyhero, I think realistically, cut right down. I'm wary of saying I'll completely stop, forever - it feels like setting myself up to fail. Although maybe that's what addicts always say

DH and I are going to do this together and we've said that we'll start with an attempt to not drink for the next 6 weeks. At the end of that we're going away for the weekend and I think it would be nice to feel we can have a drink then. But we've cancelled our wine delivery service, so that's a start!

I'd like to join too.

During lockdown it's been easy to reach for the bottle earlier in the evening as there is nowhere I need to be. I'm also a single parent so when the kids are with their dad I'm not rushing around on an evening and tend to reach for wine then.

My biggest issue I think is that I either don't drink, or 1 glass leads to many, I'm not good at leaving a wine bottle with wine still in it and have begun opening a second bottle at times, it's a really unhealthy habit to have.

I've put on weight despite a reasonable diet and exercise, I often feel crap the following day.

I think I need to distract myself from the evening habit, replace the hand to mouth habit with something else. I think I drink around 4 nights a week and that needs to change.

Sounds like I'm not alone, which is great from tbe point if view of mutual support, but obviously not great in terms of all our health

When I have the kids I might had the odd glass or two but not normally, and have found it increasing difficult to stop once I start. I will have a couple of beers or a gin no problem around them as this isn't hard to control. But, being single, time without them has equalled wine time for way too long. I've done 9 days now, not gone that long in a long long time.

Please keep posting here everyone, sounds like we all have similar issues

How refreshing to see a thread on alcohol without the OP being jumped on for having more than a thimble of wine!

OP hasn’t estimated her average no of units when she cut down / what it was ‘back up to’ (eg 40+ a week).

It’s great to cut back, if possible, but many people can’t.

Why so negative Dozer? Why do you need to know the op's units?

I don't keep track of units but I know that even during lockdown it's far less than the 40+ I was having 18 months ago with my nightly bottle of wine.

I have successfully managed to at least half my intake this week from what I had last week so if i can carry on making that sort of progress I'll be happy. It's not about completely abstaining - I enjoy alcohol like I enjoy chocolate, it's not good for me but it's enjoyable! But for health reasons I wouldn't binge on chocolate and I need to learn to do the same with alcohol.

I'm confident there are no medical/dependency issues @Dozer

Don’t ‘need to know’ OP’s units any more than other posters ‘need’ responses to Qs.

No of units is v useful info, among other indicators of alcohol problems. There are good questionnaires online.

It’s not ‘negative’ to highlight that for some people, abstinence works better than reducing intake. Eg ‘one year no beer’, soberistas.

It helps me to have an acceptable alternative, so fizzy water and lime, seedlip and tonic, alcohol free beer (free dam is my favourite). Can't find a good wine replacement though so avoid altogether.

But you haven't said that Dozer - until you're last post

How's everyone doing?

I won't lie I had a few wines last night. It was Saturday night but I took it steady and didn't wake up with a hangover. I aim to stay AF until midweek now.

How are you all?

I've still not had a drink. Mainly because I'm half afraid to though. And I've not really desperately wanted one either.... sipping on a seedlip while cooking dinner.

I had a good sleep for the first time in ages last night and got out for a walk this morning before the rain kicked in.

Well done on the moderation Pat.

At the start of lockdown, I was having a drink nearly every night. Not loads but maybe a glass or two of wine (I'm a bit of a lightweight!) and was constantly feeling lethargic and unmotivated.

I wanted to lose weight so stopped drinking and took up running. Plus eating better. I've lost 5kg in the last 6 weeks and feel loads better.

Maybe aim for a week of no booze to start with and go from there.

@fluckityfluckfluck you have done so well to have been AF all this time, really impressive. I wish I had your willpower!

I have cut back this week but not abstained altogether and I'm wondering if maybe I do just need a week or zero booze. It's tough because I do enjoy it and in moderation (like last night) dp and I can really kick back and relax, just makes the weekend feel a little bit more special I guess.

Have you tried any of the suggested reading Pat? It's good for getting you out of the 'it's relaxing/a reward' mindset

And thanks. Tomorrow is day 12. Can't quite believe it

I've downloaded this naked mind podcast but am only a few episodes in.
I've also re read Catherine Gray's book - the unexpected joy of being sober. A lot of it resonates with me.

I'm starting the unexpected joy tonight

Joining in. I feel the same. I gave up alcohol for a few months in 2018. I felt good but then gave in again.
It's a big birthday next week with a 0, so I think I'm going to try and be AF as a birthday present to myself.

Welcome lockdown. Perfect time for a change x

I read the Catherine Gray book in one go yesterday, after this thread. I really enjoyed it, and saw plenty of parallels in my own life. It brought back quite a few long-buried memories of my often-appalling behaviour when drunk, thankfully mostly years ago. But amazing how I can still cringe myself inside out over things I did 20+ years ago.

I'm now devouring Quit Like A Woman by Holly Whitaker, which is pretty fascinating and quite challenging in some ways. It's made me feel quite tearful at times (although that could just be the 2-day hangover!)

It's interesting how both books are pretty clear that for many of us, the idea of 'moderation' as a long-term strategy is a bit naive. I know I can be 'sensible' with drink if I really want to be - I've had a fair few 'quiet' nights out when I've gone home feeling smug and sober - but the trouble is it never lasts. Sooner or later I will binge again and end up on the bathroom floor with my head down the loo and a 48-hour hangover, dying inside of beer fear and feeling poisoned.

My best mate died of liver failure in her early 30s, my oldest friend from primary school doesn't see her kids anymore due to her drinking, my XH has been in and out of rehab all his adult life. Maybe it's time I started taking stopping seriously.

It might have already been mentioned, but the Brave Babes thread on the Relationships board is a bit of a Mumsnet institution and its thread history is very helpful on this subject and worth a look.