Stopping drinking for a while

[Patbutcherismyhero]

Throughout lockdown I've gradually started drinking more and more. I now usually only have one day off a week. Last night I drank way too much and was sick, slept terribly and today I just feel awful mentally and physically. I need to cut back. It's become far too much far too often.

I hate waking in the night with anxiety and having to check my phone to if I put any shit on social media. I don't usually get hangovers but I always feel tired and lacking in motivation. Alcohol has become such a big part of my life but I know it's not healthy and I really need to stop for a while. Anyone else?

@fluckityfluckfluck

I got a puppy today

Oh oh oooooh!!! Photo please 💗

Meet Sid

I thought about it after what you said the other day @Railingsohno but always assumed my boss wouldn't let me take to work, anyway I asked her and she said yes!

Oh my god, I'm so jealous. Gorgeous puppy.

I'm working from home now so seriously considering it.

And sorry @GrannyD57 welcome to the thread and well done! You are smashing it

Oh my god!!! I am so over the moon for you! So cool. Bet the kids are delighted 💗
Sid is gorgeous - is he a cocker?

@GrannyD57 sorry I was distracted by the lovely Sid.

Welcome to the thread. Thanks for your heartfelt, honest post and good luck 💗

Yes a cocker - love a spaniel 😁. I haven't told the kids so they'll be over the moon when they get home on Sunday

Oh wow. I bet you can’t wait!!!!!

Story of my life - upstaged by a puppy 😂😂.
He is so gorgeous. Hope he’s keeping cool!

Welcome @GrannyD57 and thanks for the lovely post.

@fluckityfluckfluck I'm in love with Sid. What a gorgeous pup.

And I definitely can't afford alcohol now

Ooh congrats @fluckityfluckfluck!! He's gorgeous! Enjoy.
Welcome @GrannyD57, so glad this thread has been helpful. Sounds like you are doing amazingly!
Day 30 for me!
@Patbutcherismyhero glad the moderation is going well.
And well done @RandomGirl, smashing it! Lovely that your OH is supporting. Mine doesn't really drink so I'm lucky.
@Railingsohno sorry if wine comments were triggery. If it helps I'm reading 'Quit like a woman' and she comments on how short lived that feeling is to then be followed very fast by the depressive element which lasts much much longer. On the subject of quit lit, I just read 'Dry' by Augusten Burroughs, I loved it, highly recommend. I didnt drink as much as him; thankfully! But still gained a lot from reading and enjoyed his style/story. Currently voraciously working my way through sober lit and finding it so helpful.

@NeedAUserNameAllTaken - thank you. 💗 Yes I should do a bit of reading. I did start the unexpected Joy... but I couldn’t really relate as my drinking issues were not extreme. I like the sound of Quit like a Woman - I think I’ll get that one. I’d like to feel less deprived/sad about giving up. There was almost a grieving I had to go through- sounds melodramatic! I’m now feeling a lot more positive about it but I still have times where I miss it.

@Sauvignonismysaviour - how are you doing? You’ve been on my mind. I really felt for you the other day. It’s definitely a two steps forward, one back. Just see it as a journey with a few bumps in the road. Even though you’ve started drinking again you’re thinking about it and asking yourself questions. It’s all progress, even if it doesn’t feel that way. Hope you’re ok

I think its okay to grieve @Railingsohno, drinking is something we have done for the longest time, its just learning a new way and in time, for us, a better way. I also like the idea that now I get to truly live - as in I drank when happy, I drank when sad and I drank when stressed and therefore never lived my true experience. Quitting therefore gives me/us a gift, if that makes sense? But it's definitely okay to feel what you need to feel in this process.
I like Quit, its making me laugh at times and I like her strong woman style. She's quite feminist though which wouldn't be for everyone. Dry is my favourite so far. Often their drinking is way beyond mine but I remind myself I was locked in the same cycle and maybe that would have been me down the line, as I was drinking more over time. Bar the drug use, as that's not on my radar
Yes @Sauvignonismysaviour, hope you're okay, such true words from @railings xx

@Railingsohno have you read The Sober Diaries or Alcohol Explained? They were very good for making me see what I was gaining by quitting, as does Quit xx

My God, this is difficult.
In Melbourne in lockdown now pretty much since March.
2 small children and a baby at home 24/7.
Just mentally exhausted, can only go out for an hour's exercise a day but often don't as there is always some housework that needs doing just to keep house from being a shit tip.
Have been drinking a LOT for many weeks just to get through.
Life is bloody hard without the alcohol and pretty much hell with it, except for that pleasant hazy drinking window, but the price is too high. I'm falling apart. Fat, tired, pallid and aggravated
Day one today. I am in a black mood. I know I have to get through 3-4 days and I'll gradually start feeling better.
Just not going to buy any booze. White knuckles.
Thanks for the this thread. Keep going everyone. Stay out of lock down!

@fluckityfluckfluck oh my word, Sid is GORGEOUS! I love dogs! Your kids are going to go wild! What a perfect distraction for you. And, definitely can't afford to booze now!

@HotelRoomforOne I can absolutely empathise with you going through a dark few days. I think I have spent the whole of lock down in that dark, depressive cycle and just nursed myself through it with wine. Which in turn made me feel worse. I was so depressed at being overweight, bloated, puffy and tired. I am still overweight but am starting to feel less bloated and puffy and the tiredness has definitely lessened. I've had a couple of challenging days which would have normally resulted in me being depressed and extremely anxious but I have definitely coped way better than I would have done had I been drinking.

I'm only on Day 4 but am just starting to feel the difference. I've also been doing the intermittent fasting which I think Fluckity is doing so I'm hoping that will help me along as well.

@NeedAUserNameAllTaken Have you read 'Running with Scissors' by Augusten Burroughs? I really loved that book - you've inspired me to read it again. I have also just ordered 'Dry' on your recommendation and it should arrive today - looking forward to reading that, thank you.

I can't remember who it was that recommended the Dry app but I've started using it and I really like it - thank you.

We went out for dinner yesterday at a country pub, some of my family joined us, no one drank alcohol which was great. My husband and I drank lime and soda and it was lush - really refreshing and neither of us were tempted to drink. We both said this morning that I was really nice to go out and not drink and that we felt really motivated to continue. I've set myself a 20-day AF goal and see how I feel when I get to that point. I don't want to set myself a massive target that I will feel overwhelmed with. We are due to go on holiday on the 20th day and I really hope I will be at the point where I am motivated to not drink during our holiday!

I've decided to stick a load of clothes on to eBay to se if I can make a bit of money. I would normally just send them to charity shops as I can't be bothered with the hassle but I'm feeling motivated today. We've decided to save up for a deposit for a mortgage which is something that we never felt achievable (money was always spent on boozing and the lazy lifestyle that comes with that - takeaways, taxis etc). Not owning our own home has always made me feel really down and I've always thought that it was something that was not achievable for me but now I'm so determined. I swear that reading this thread has given me this new positivity!

This thread has been so vital for me - it's literally made me change my mindset and I'm so grateful for it. I'm so glad I'm able to check in each day with everyone and see how we're all doing. I'm very grateful for it.

Long post - sorry!

@HotelRoomforOne welcome. Gosh lockdown has a lot to answer for doesn't it? I started this thread because my lockdown drinking was getting out of control. But what else is there to do when you're stuck in the house with kids all day? I've been working from home since March with dc home and it's been so so tough. So I totally get where you're coming from but like you say, once that hazy pleasant drinking window has ended you're left in the same position only feeling tired, guilty and even more down.

We are all here to support you on your journey whether it's giving up, cutting back or just seeing how it goes. Good luck x

Welcome @HotelRoomforOne, I'm sorry it's so hard for you. I've got three all fairly close together so I empathise completely. It's good that you can see how the alcohol isn't really helping, maybe try some of the sober podcasts while you are stuck indoors? I know you won't have a chance to read.... good luck and keep posting.

@RandomGirl I welled up reading that post - you're doing ace and it's amazing to see how we are all helping each other.

Just checking in @Cherrybakewellard and @Sauvignonismysaviour hope you guys are ok

Hi all,

Thanks for checking in on me @fluckityfluckfluck, @AlCalavicci, @Railingsohno & @NeedAUserNameAllTaken. I really appreciate how supportive and non-judgemental this thread is. And it is also so nice to know that I am not alone, there are other people out there with drinking habits similar to mine and we are all acknowledging that and trying to amend that, in our own time and way.

I'm okay thanks. Had 2 glasses last night but that's still better than a bottle I guess. I'm just really stressed at the moment; working from home while dealing with my relentless 3 year old is such a grind. I finish work; then it's straight into housework and entertaining kids and cooking and cleaning and it's the same every day isn't it. Nobody I work with has young kids and I just feel I'm putting this big fake smile on to fit in and say I'm fine, when behind the scenes I'm struggling!

I don't want to blame the lockdown situation for this though, looking back, my alcohol use has always been different to others - or I've used alcohol in a different way to others; others I am now meeting on the first few tentative steps of this journey. I can see I'm never going to be that "take it or leave it" kind or person. I know I need to change and I'm glad to have that awareness at least. I am mortified if I get tagged on a wine meme on social media; or get a "drunk" birthday card. I'm paranoid I have a reputation.

Before lockdown began, I had actually started counselling to deal with some stuff so I am hoping getting back to that in the future will help get to the root cause. I don't think with me (or many of us) it's as clear cut as drinking more than the average woman.

Welcome @GrannyD57 and @HotelRoomforOne. Feel your pain.

Sounds like you're in a good place @RandomGirl.

How's your week @Patbutcherismyhero?

Puppy is gorgeous Fluckity! All those walks will be a great distraction.

Thanks again for checking in on me. It means a lot to know you're all out there!

Thank you all, I am really heartened and encouraged by your support, what a great thread.

I am about to go to sleep and haven't succumbed. Replaced booze with cheese though.

I know that they way I drink is to substitute for things I really want, which is some calm and solitude. A good stretch of solitude. If I had time alone to think the desire to drink would be gone.

Of course this is impossible. I am locked down with my family and my baby is too young to leave anyway. I am never alone.

Do any of you find you are using drink as a substitute for something you really want, but can't get?

My relationship is now faltering as well, and drink has filled that void, until now. I am all or nothing with alcohol so it has to be zero consumption for me.
Btw I really reccommend the "Soberful" podcast.

@HotelRoomforOne What you have written is definitely one of my main reasons for drinking. There are so many things that I want but feel are out of my control so I replace that with drinking. I also know that if I had the space that I need so badly (own home - we live with family who have far bigger drinking problems that they can't or don't want to control) then I would have no desire to drink. I feel trapped constantly and it gets me so down as I fall into a cycle where I feel that I can't change things and other people are in control over my life. This is mostly not true but being down blurs your thinking and then when you add alcohol to the mix, I find I'm in an ever decreasing circle of doom and gloom. I think I really hit a low point over this lock down - hence finding the courage to join this thread. It's really not something I would do ever but I felt like I was getting quite desperate for help to change.

I'm really sorry to hear that you're having difficulties in your relationship, that most definitely adds to feelings of being lonely yet unable to be alone. I crave my own space and never, ever get it. I have to sort my shit out otherwise I'm going to end up a frazzled wreck with some serious mental health issues by the time I'm 50.

I hope you can find some companionship and support with us all on this thread

Welcome @HotelRoomforOne, so glad this is a helpful place.. I'm sorry lockdown is so hard, it was definitely the catalyst for me to stop. I hear you OJ drinking to replace things I cant have and I have massively used booze as a crutch when my relationship has been rocky.

Amazing @RandomGirl, so happy to hear how well its going for you. Ooh I shall check 'Running with Scissors' out, thank you! Enjoy dry!

I'm sorry your struggling @Sauvignonismysaviour. I hear you re your alcohol consumption, mine was similar. I'm so glad you are feeling supported on here.

Hows Sid @fluckityfluckfluck?