Stopping drinking for a while

[Patbutcherismyhero]

Throughout lockdown I've gradually started drinking more and more. I now usually only have one day off a week. Last night I drank way too much and was sick, slept terribly and today I just feel awful mentally and physically. I need to cut back. It's become far too much far too often.

I hate waking in the night with anxiety and having to check my phone to if I put any shit on social media. I don't usually get hangovers but I always feel tired and lacking in motivation. Alcohol has become such a big part of my life but I know it's not healthy and I really need to stop for a while. Anyone else?

@Biscoffscoff so true! I’m 6 months in and have found it a lot easier than I thought. I have struggled on holiday this week but have managed to stay AF. My triggers are noise and chaos! Basically life with 3 kids.

It’s opened up so much of my time and my mind is free from the shall I shan’t I endless loop.

@Patbutcherismyhero - I really think you should try knocking it on the head for a month. Reassess then. You’re wasting so much of your time and energy trying to moderate.

I relate to all of this - it’s the first thread that I’ve read from start to finish (and there’s 30 pages!). It’s really inspiring. Day 1 AF starts tomorrow...

Morning all .
Welcome @RandomGirl , we are a chatty lot !
I wonder why this thread was hidden last night ?

How did everyones weekend go ?
@Patbutcherismyhero it is hard to stop thinking about it isnt it I could of sank quite a few on Saturday and it was on my mind a lot from lunch time until about 8pm.

I was on a late night Zoom yesterday and everyone else was drinking and getting louder and talking over each other I 'lost my internet ' after about a 1.5 hrs , I just couldnt be doing with it .

Ekk had to post a bit quick or i'd of missed my bus.

I hope every one has a good week , it's going to be a lot of early starts for me over the next few weeks for me so no late nights boozy for me .

Morning! Think the thread was hidden whilst they looked at that deleted post (which was a bit surreal and odd)

@AlCalavicci well done for staying AF on Zoom. I think 1.5 hours on Zoom is a good effort at the best of times - it’s hard work!

Are you back from holidays @Railingsohno? Well done on getting through af.

Really rooting for you this week @Patbutcherismyhero. @AlCalavicci that is an early start! I've a week off this week and no kids....strange without the structure we rely on to shape our days, but I am determined to unwind, relax and yet be productive

So, have woke up this morning and feeling positive about today. I don’t normally have a problem with Mondays so not too concerned about today. I don’t seem to be able to get past 3 days however. And I always, ALWAYS, crumble on a Friday. Fridays end up being a binge. Usually starting earlier. I’ve had to make myself wait until my husband comes home from work since lockdown as I’d Be a bottle of wine down by 7pm. This in itself is an achievement. However I’ve never made it through a weekend sober. Apart from 3 weeks in January doing Dry Jan. Both my husband and i always talk about doing a dry spell (I myself would like to go sober 100 days but have kept that to myself for now as it’s too much of a challenge). If I think too far ahead then I just give up. Saying that, I haven’t made it past four days since jan. Normally Monday - Weds would be the most I could do. I’m fed up of bingeing on a Friday and Saturday (sometimes a Sunday as well depending on how hungover I am). There are so many things I want to do with my life (mid 40s and feel like I’m losing my life to alcohol and hangovers). Embarrassed that I’m so weak and can’t just stop. We have a close circle of friends who all live nearby and so it’s very easy to be sucked into drinking heavily Friday and Saturday. But it’s always us that do it both nights and every weekend. Others find it easy to dip in and out.

Anyway, it’s the start of a new week and today is going to be Day 1 of AF!

Welcome @RandomGirl - don't think yourself weak, alcohol is a highly addictive drug and it's so easy fall into bad patterns and habits, we all know only too well.

I really really suggest the Claire Pooley book the sober diaries - or check her blog online if you can't get the book. For me the difference with staying off the booze this time has been the reading I've done. Good luck and keep posting

Hi Fluckity,

Thanks so much, I like to read so will definitely follow your suggestion. When I was reading the thread last night I was so inspired by your posts and can relate to everything you’ve said that I woke up feeling extra determined this morning - thank you! I’m treating today and a fresh start!

Have just poured all remaining remnants alcohol down the sink!

Yay! Welcome @RandomGirl, sounds like you are really ready for this!

I’ve been ready for ages (and this isn’t the first time that I’ve poured booze away!) I just can seem to get past the weekend. I think I definitely get FOMO and also I just can’t say no to someone when they suggest it. My best friend also drinks heavily and that an issue for me.

Morning all. Feeling refreshed after a good sleep last night and am intending to stay AF today and for as long as possible this week! I've planned a few things around my usual trigger times in the evening to keep me occupied.

Have been reading Clare Pooleys book and it is enlightening in places. But a bit like Catherine Gray in the Unexpected Joy of being sober I sort of struggle to relate to her and her lifestyle. Even so it's giving me a lot to think about.

@RandomGirl welcome. Weekends are major trigger times for me too. I managed a sober weekend a few weeks ago but that was a struggle and probably the first one in years! Keep posting here the support is so valuable x

@RandomGirl I'd also recommend 'quit like a woman' by Holly Whittaker. It's a big 'fuck you' to the alcohol corporations and frames drinking as a way to keep women in their place (put up with a crap life and unfair share of responsibilities if we can numb it with booze)

Have you got anything you can plan for Saturday morning you could look forward to, as an incentive not to be hungover?

Thanks everyone. I have asked my husband to not work Saturday - he usually does which leaves me bored and I end up meeting my friend for ‘lunch’ which then turns into a bit of a afternoon/evening session. I have said that I’d like to go out for the day walking or just down to the coast. We did that yesterday (even after an afternoon/evening session in the garden with friends) but we didn’t feel too bad and so decided to not lie around feeling sorry for ourselves and get out of the house. This has definitely motivated me to want to do it again this weekend as we had a wonderful day. We did have a couple of beers on the beach with our fish and chips but I was so chuffed that we actually did something productive and memorable with our daughter.

Our friends also have children of the same age as ours so it’s really easy for them to play together whilst the adults sit in the garden drinking. I was brought up similarly with my parents and their friends so it doesn’t seem unusual and almost makes drinking around children more acceptable if that makes sense?

It was so good to get out of the house yesterday and do the sort of things that I long to do but that drinking gets in the way of.

I used to be really active, always out and about in the countryside and down by the coast but now I’ve become stuck in this rut and endless cycle of drinking and doing nothing worthwhile with my (and my daughter’s life). Which gives me the guilt and adds to my anxiety. I stopped taking my medication recently and so when my anxiety hits in the middle of the night due to drinking it’s quite hardcore. But, I want to feel it and suffer it as it’s that which is becoming a real drive for me to change. If that makes sense?

Thanks for the support everyone, it’s really been a tremendous help for me this time around!

Morning all, just catching up on the thread.

I've lost zero weight this week and I've been completely on it food wise so I've concluded the booze has to go. Completely. Not forever but certainly until I'm at goal.

Just flicked through my Facebook memories and on 2014 I wrote:

‘A glass of wine at 11am to get me in the mood for lunch! 🍷🍴😎’

Every post since on this day, from 2007 when I joined FB until the one above in 2014, has been about alcohol. I don’t tend to read the posts before 2014 anymore as they’re always just about drinking and I find them depressing.

I was 40 during lockdown and almost every single card and present was drink related - it's a little depressing (or a lot) to think that's all people see

This thread isn’t coming up on my ‘I’m on’ tab and it’s really annoying me

Have you reported it Cherry? It's on mine...

How are you feeling? I'm guessing no news is good news for you? X

fluckityfluckfluck

I know exactly what you mean. I feel like I have a ‘label’ over my head with ‘drinker’ on it.

@RandomGirl hello!!! It’s a really supportive group. Good luck with it. It sounds like you’ve made a great start. A lot of it is just breaking habits. Drinking is just such a time waster too. Maybe you could all think of some things you’d like to do at the weekend as a family and make a list? Pop them in a jar? We’ve never really been daytime drinkers as we had three kids close together and needed our wits about us! Also our friends aren’t really into it.

Why not speak to your best friend? Maybe you could do some other things together instead?

You sound excited about the possibilities, which is brilliant! 💗

Ps @fluckityfluckfluck on the way home now! About to do a big AF drinks order on my phone.