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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think this may have ruined a friendship?

399 replies

Barobee · 20/06/2020 17:00

TL;DR friend’s boyfriend won’t get his car out of my garage and it’s pissing me off.

Longer version: two years ago a good friend asked if her boyfriend could store his car in my garage. It was supposed to be for three months max as he had just exchanged on a house so would be able to store it in his new house’s garage once it had completed.

I said yes as she’s a good friend and I don’t mind being helpful.

Two years on and the fucking car’s still there. I texted at the beginning of June to ask if it could be moved by mid June because I wanted to paint the garage and turn it into a room where DC could hang out a bit. Friend said she would tell him he needed to move his car. Two weeks later, at friend’s suggestion as he had shown no interest in collecting the car, I texted again to ask when he was coming. No joy.

I’ve just texted again today and said if it’s easier can she just give me his number so I can deal with him directly. Now the reply is that she’ll give me his number later because she’s got another child visiting.

At first I was annoyed at him, partly because I sometimes think he treats friend quite badly, but now I’m beginning to think that they are both taking the piss (him more than her) and this is going to impact badly on our friendship. AIBU and what can I do?

OP posts:
maryann1978 · 20/06/2020 20:30

On second thoughts, you dont need to justify why the car needs to be gone. Just say, Hi, I need the car gone by tomorrow. Let me know what time you will be here. Thanks

1Morewineplease · 20/06/2020 20:31

It might be worth your while to consult a solicitor for free for thirty minutes or whatever. At least, then, you’ll know where you stand.

LadyFlumpalot · 20/06/2020 20:34

Tell her your garage has been broken into, the car has been stolen and the police need to interview them as owners.

Then when they show up you can say "just kidding, but now you are here... you can take it away thank you bye!"

FrippEnos · 20/06/2020 20:35

You could ask in legal on here and see what they say.

But the problem with moving that car or leaving it in there uncovered is you could (I believe) be done for any damage to the car.

ItsNotAGameOfSubbuteoMatthew · 20/06/2020 20:42

Unless he's a key worker he's likely to have lots of time on his hands to restore the wreck so think of it as doing him a favour Grin

SlightyJaded · 20/06/2020 20:45

Well done for texting.

If you don't hear back by later this evening, I would try calling again.

And again.

And again.

AwwDontGo · 20/06/2020 20:46

.

crosspelican · 20/06/2020 20:48

Has the message been read?

Stick to it - you don't need him to get back in touch with you. You told your friend six weeks ago, is that right? By text (i.e. you have a record of it?)? He's had reasonable notice that you need it removed.

Or (and I would consider it worth it!) have it towed to his address and left outside if you're only a few miles away. Bill CF by all means but obv don't expect money back. Get a few quotes.

It would continue to piss me off it it was on the street outside my house, so I'd have it taken away if I could do it for £100.

Also, I don't think you need another person telling you this, but she's not your friend.

crosspelican · 20/06/2020 20:50

Also, did you say Tuesday? I'd have said Sunday night.

And in situations like this, NEVER APOLOGISE, NEVER EXPLAIN.

lilyboleyn · 20/06/2020 20:52

She’ll have let him know in advance that you’d be calling which is why he’s not answering. Ultimatum by text and then follow up on it.

crispysausagerolls · 20/06/2020 20:58

What did you text?

Blahblahblah12345 · 20/06/2020 21:03

They are some CFrs. She is an awful friend to you by letting this happen for so long. She knows you've had enough but is still letting him use you.

What did you text him so we can help add to it. Maybe text her also.

MeridianB · 20/06/2020 21:04

@lilyboleyn

She’ll have let him know in advance that you’d be calling which is why he’s not answering. Ultimatum by text and then follow up on it.
This. You have to follow through once they miss the deadline and get it out. She is not your friend.
Somethingkindaoooo · 20/06/2020 21:09

@Barobee

Also I do know I’m annoying. I annoy the hell out of myself sometimes which is why I’ve been trying to be firmer about things.
Aw, be nice to yourself. These are exactly the kinds of situations that help you develop assertiveness.

I had a friends stuff in my loft for 10 years. Some of it is still there. When I asked if we could work toward getting it out, we did, but she massively stepped back from me.
Hope he cooperates and gets his car out!

Halo84 · 20/06/2020 21:11

Why do you want to maintain a friendship with someone who has so little regard for you?

Halo84 · 20/06/2020 21:14

I wouldn’t be paying to tow the car. I would roll it out and park it on the street.

daytriptovulcan · 20/06/2020 21:14

Get it towed over to his place, dump it outside, and get the costs off him, or put him in the small claims court for the costs.

Allgirlskidsanddogs · 20/06/2020 21:19

Stop being a doormat. Give him 24 hours to remove it, tell him that after that he will find it on the street. If necessary put the window in and roll it out of the way, onto the highway and then report it.

BumbleBeee69 · 20/06/2020 21:28

is this a Joke ? Confused

Twentynone21 · 20/06/2020 21:37

I had a similar thing happen to me. I sold my car for a very low scrap price to an acquaintance who I didn’t know very well; the car was not roadworthy and needed a new clutch. This person sold the car to someone else who assumed I would be happy to continue storing the car on my driveway for an indefinite period of time. In the end I gave them 48 hours to collect the car which they ignored. I pushed the car off the driveway, with help, parked it one the road and posted the keys to them. The car was picked up within 24 hours.

billy1966 · 20/06/2020 21:39

I am the idiot that got caught similarly with the storage of a perfect fridge freezer for a month from a friend of a friend....

Text several times as to when it would be removed. Nothing.

Irritated husband after 1 year asking when it was going to be gone?.

I sent the text asking for information for removal after 72 hours...nothing.

Husband goes into open plan office, sticks up his hand an says "perfect fridge, free, to whomever can collect asap"......collected by an absolutely thrilled young colleague...never heard back from vague friend!

Twentynone21 · 20/06/2020 21:39

If it was me, I would break a window and push the car out. They’ve got an absolute cheek!

sonjadog · 20/06/2020 21:44

What did you say in the text? Did you give a deadline for removal?

donquixotedelamancha · 20/06/2020 21:44

I’m reluctant to up the ante.

It's been two years.

I am far more assertive than I was five years ago

Holy fuck.

I’m going to say that it would have cost him £40/month to store the car in a normal garage... and then leave that hanging to see if he says anything.

Passive aggressive is annoying. People will like and respect you more if you are direct and clear. You will never respect yourself until you can insist that people treat you with respect.

Check the law to find out what obligations you have (you can't just tow it). Give the requisite notice very clearly, then get it towed.

If you don't follow through once you've warned him then he will never stop taking the piss. If your friend is actually a friend she will understand. If not, she's a piss taker and you are better off without her.

Georgielovespie · 20/06/2020 21:49

If it is an old car that he intended to do up then it is probably easier to break into than a modern car. I am sure google can help you get a window down. Then release the handbrake and put it onto the road.