Twat colleague - AIBU to ask for help in composing a response?

[DuineArBith]

Dealing with a colleague who cannot admit he is ever wrong and hates being called out, especially by women. He also really fancies his expertise in employment law and practice, without real justification.

He's now wasting his time and mine arguing (through emails copied to various other colleagues and managers) about a total non-issue which doesn't relate to employment law, but happens to relate to an area on which I have much more experience and knowledge than he has, and I also know that other people with experience in the area in question agree with me. I can't give the details, but a similar issue would be where, for instance, we were using dangerous machinery for which we are fully covered by manufacturers' guarantees and insurance and he wanted me to make modifications ostensibly for safety purposes which would potentially invalidate those.

I've tried explaining politely that it isn't an issue and why, and I've explained the perfectly adequate precautions we do take in this regard, which I hoped would bring this ridiculous issue to an end. However, of course he cannot accept that because, God forbid, it might involve admitting he got something wrong. His latest email responds to that disagreeing and saying he thinks I should do what he says

My first reactions which, probably fortunately, I suppressed, were to respond with "Go away, little boy, and stop wasting my time" and moving on to "I could do that, of course, if I wanted to invite disaster." I want to signal to others what a twat he is without being overtly rude, not least because some of my colleagues buy into his self-promotion and still think the sun shines out of his arsehole,

Currently thoughts are something along the lines of:

Well, I could do that. However, as a result of (a) my long experience of (relevant area of expertise) and (b) discussions with X, Y and Z who I know have taken specialist advice on the issue, I know that it would be very unwise and potentially dangerous. So, no, I won't be doing it.

Too much?

@Panticus

I think you could make your response a bit less inflammatory and personal. Maybe something like - "In light of [reasons], we are not intending to proceed with any changes to current practices. Thank you for your input." Shut down the conversation but do it politely and firmly.

This is how you deal with it.

I might not even add the reasoning. Just shut him down.

What does he get from making you change your mind?

It wouldn't be my preference as it would give him oxygen and play to his sense of importance but if you didn't want to slap him down, you could set out your position, imply it's wonderful he has the time and suggest he can:

show where what he proposes would be consistent with the manufacturer's guarantee and requirements; or

confirm with the manufacturer what he proposes would be acceptable.
and doesn't accrue additional liability to the company.

The advantage of this is that it will show third parties that he doesn't know the boundaries of his expertise and has time to do this frolic hence is under-employed or neglecting his job.

As I say, it wouldn't be my preference though I know it's easy for others to say to confront someone.

Good luck.

I like @pictish response. It’s to the point and ceases any further mistake that it’s up for discussion. If you’re trying to signal to others how much of an uneducated knob he is in the area, best way to do so is to list the facts and thus proving how educated you are in the matter.

Do not cc all in your reply.

I would reply to him only and say
Thanks for your email. As I have explained already we have assessed the current arrangements as appropriate and would .

Do you have concerns about the adequacy of these measures or their execution? If so I suggest you set up a call so we can review the data that is driving this concern.

What does he get from making you change your mind?

Well, if he's right, and to use the OP's initial machinery analogy, a safer workplace environment and possibly one less dead person.

Take the first and last sentence off your suggestion OP - they are not necessary. The rest is fine.

My experience of higher up management is that they don’t tend to step in when there’s general bickering amongst same level staff.

So long as work gets done, they expect everyone to resolve their own issues without having to be pulled up.

I’d be scathingly polite and factual and cease responding.

I would absolutely ram my own qualifications, expertise and knowledge down his throat to ensure nobody is left in doubt that I know what I’m doing and I’m right.

Then I’d ignore any other emails from him regarding the matter.

It’s because he struts around declaring himself an expert that some people believe him.

What would happen if you just don’t respond to his emails about this?

Who has the power over the next action?

Alternatively,
Dear twatcolleague,
I’ve taken your thoughts into consideration and I consider this matter closed now.

As you are come back again challenging me on this in point domain of experience, I have double checked this issue with XYZ (the supplier/experts) & as previously explained in length, my action will be ......
I consider this conversation closed

oops, typos

My experience of higher up management is that they don’t tend to step in when there’s general bickering amongst same level staff.

I tend to disagree. I'm 'higher-up management' (depending on who you define things) and if I was cc'd on something where someone was suggesting something that could invalidate our fucking insurance I can absolutely promise you I'd intervene.

"I consider this conversation closed"

Really?! So many unprofessional response suggestions here.

"if I was cc'd on something where someone was suggesting something that could invalidate our fucking insurance I can absolutely promise you I'd intervene."

Indeed. Which is why I thought it strange they hadn't if the OP is so clearly right in the matter.

Actually I did have something similar once.

So I responded very politely and bullet pointed the reason his suggestion would not only not work but would result in us getting into a lot of trouble.

Didn’t say that. But one of the bullet points was that x government body would fine us at the very least or it could trigger a massive audit at worse.

It shut him down.

I signed off with ‘I hope this clarifies the matter for you’.

😆😆😆 certainly broke up the monotony of a boring work week.

I’d be ignoring him at this point. I would send on to the relevant senior colleague and explain that for the reasons previously explained I was not proposing to do anything further and to please advise if they would like me to take any action.

Dear colleague

Unfortunately your suggestion would invalidate our [warranties/insurance]. I appreciate your interest in the topic. If you would like to pursue your interest in this field, you might find [basic course in whatever it is] useful as a starting point.

Thanks

Higher up management I meant director. Mine tends to let me get on with things as he knows I know what I’m doing.

He would have stepped in I think if the person who made the suggestion kept on even after the clarification.

@category12

Dear colleague

Unfortunately your suggestion would invalidate our [warranties/insurance]. I appreciate your interest in the topic. If you would like to pursue your interest in this field, you might find [basic course in whatever it is] useful as a starting point.

Thanks

Love this one. BURN!

@Ilovetolurk I learned to "seek guidance" from seniors when settling a never-ending dispute. Having explained my position clearly to them, and got their agreement, it's my code for "time to step in and be a manager now".

'Lol'

"You are entitled to your incorrect opinion. Going forward we will be doing A, B, C..."
And make sure you copy in all the people (and more) that he has.

I agree with the earlier PP asking about team structure - are you both equal colleagues or is one higher up, whose decision is it to make (ie yours or are you both being asked for input) ?

The answers to those questions would influence how to handle this.

But as a top level manager / director I can say if I’d been copied in on these emails it would be reflecting badly on both of you based on what you’ve said.

If it wasn't this it would be something else. He is obviously trying to be annoying. Just ignore. Or tell him to get an independent Health & Safety expert to look at it and do a risk assessment if he isn't satisfied.

You are entitled to your incorrect opinion.

This, coupled with blatantly cc'ing more and more people, would (rightly or wrongly) get you in HR shit in my place. It's not the way to resolve things, even if you think the other person is being a bellend.

I’d keep it simple, whilst not giving him any more fuel and being polite so you maintain the high ground (though tbh whether or not you’re right won’t avoid management being irritated with you too if they have to get involved. How about “Thanks for your input, appreciated. I will deal from here.”.