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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to Hide the racist bigot work colleagues from my facebook

125 replies

CrowdedHouseinQuarantine · 20/06/2020 08:25

it is doing my blood pressure no favours,

however it is like scab, irresistible

what would you do?

OP posts:
CrowdedHouseinQuarantine · 20/06/2020 13:12

Rubbish, I was it anti the protest, my family took part, but make it up why don't you all

OP posts:
GreytExpectations · 20/06/2020 13:15

Who is making anything up, OP? We are all responding based on your posts..

RiftGibbon · 20/06/2020 15:21

I've lost focus on the point of this thread now.

My understanding was OP's colleagues posting racist things on Facebook and OP wanted to know what to do. However, despite many people saying that she should respond and point out racism and report them to employer, OP is not happy to do so in case it rocks the boat with people she has to work in. Pretty pointless posting really.

CrowdedHouseinQuarantine · 20/06/2020 16:00

no, it wasnt a case of asking what to do, apart from hiding/blocking

no biggie

OP posts:
La1ka · 20/06/2020 16:09

I wouldn’t hide, I would unfriend. I have unfriended and I will do so again and again. And tell them why. No more room for this sort of attitude.

CrowdedHouseinQuarantine · 20/06/2020 16:10

if it is pointless to you, move on, ignore, dont try and stir up any more than appears to be stirred up.

OP posts:
Lynda07 · 20/06/2020 16:12

Don't just hide them, block them!

Mittens030869 · 20/06/2020 16:12

@La1ka Exactly, that's what I did. Sadly it ended up being the end of a friendship but I didn't want to be friends with someone with such hateful views (Islamaphobia in this case).

La1ka · 20/06/2020 16:14

@Mittens030869 same. It’s awful when people you once cared for and respected turn out to have such views. But I agree with you, I do not want anyone with such an attitude in my life. It’s been scary realising how many people In the world hold these views.

roarfeckingroar · 20/06/2020 16:22

@Linning it's their private Facebook. They're not making comments at work. I'm sorry but I wouldn't risk my working life to make a scene about what someone said outside of work, be it sexist or racist. We don't have to be sacrificial lambs.

zingally · 20/06/2020 16:23

Oh, hide them and be done with it OP. Life is too short!

I have my sister's fiancee hidden on all social medias, and it's the best thing ever. He's an aggressive predatory twat, and I hate his guts. And seeing him trying to make out he's a good guy on social media all day did my nut in.
Now he's hidden, it's much easier to ignore his existence!

Shinebright72 · 20/06/2020 16:24

Because they are work colleagues I would deactivate my FB for a while. Then I would log back on and just remove them. Don’t say a thing.... at the end of the day you are colleagues and that is all

RiftGibbon · 20/06/2020 16:31

@CrowdedHouseinQuarantine

no, it wasnt a case of asking what to do, apart from hiding/blocking

no biggie

In your opening post you asked "What would you do?" So I assumed you wanted some suggestions of action to take.
Prayingforchange · 20/06/2020 16:43

White silence is violence.. you are part of the problem

LastTrainEast · 20/06/2020 16:54

"But now they want to protect statues of Winston Churchill ah! that kind of racism. For a moment I thought you had serious grounds for complaint.

Don't report that as your company will almost certainly dismiss it as ridiculous and time wasting, but do unfriend them. It's the least you can do for them.

Mittens030869 · 20/06/2020 17:06

It isn't the statue of Churchill stuff that would annoy me, as I know that he's viewed as a hero, as that's how we've all been trained to view him. It's the 'All Lives Matter' business, it's a blatant attempt to undermine the BLM moves.

Mittens030869 · 20/06/2020 17:06

That was supposed to say 'BLM movement'. Blush

Linning · 20/06/2020 19:26

[quote roarfeckingroar]@Linning it's their private Facebook. They're not making comments at work. I'm sorry but I wouldn't risk my working life to make a scene about what someone said outside of work, be it sexist or racist. We don't have to be sacrificial lambs.[/quote]
I can’t see how you would be fired for reporting racism and if you would be, you would have massive grounds for suing them.

When you work for a company you represent them, even outside of work, if I saw an employee of a Corporation I Support posting racist stuff online and then noticed they had a bunch of coworkers for friends that all stayed silent I would absolutely think this corporation is filled with racist pricks who passively and actively support racism and would publicly denounce it.

This lady, through her actions is bringing her own company into disrepute (hence why companies have been dumping all their publicly racist/prejudiced "Karen and Ken" employees left, right and Center, most companies DO care to know that they are not giving work to someone racist and would absolutely want to be made aware.

If it was my company, I would absolutely stop employing this person but I would also call in for a chat anybody I knew had witnessed the racism but stayed silent and didn’t feel like reporting her, again what employees do outside of work can and do impact on the company they work for when a link between them and their job is made (a look at companies that have been boycotted in recent weeks because of their employees will tell you how) and I would find anyone not making me aware of an issue that could negatively impact my company as complicit and while I would not fire them, I would definitely look at them differently and they would be the absolute first to go if the company was ever to lose money at a scale where staff would need to be laid off.

No good company would tell you off for bringing up something you see as problematic and feel might impact the company, they might not see the problem and say they would rather not do anything about it and let it be, but you can’t go wrong by bringing it to their attention.

I would struggle to work with a racist colleague to have to report her. If reporting a toxic environment and racism gets me in trouble then I am likely better off looking for a new job anyway.

roarfeckingroar · 20/06/2020 19:57

@Linning that would be a very controlling way to run your company. You cannot punish someone because they might have seen something and chosen to not to get involved

shutupsteph · 20/06/2020 20:02

if they're being racist you should anonymously report them to your bosses

ilovesooty · 20/06/2020 20:14

In my company you were expected to challenge or report . If you didn't want to report it to management initially you could pass it on to a diversity champion.

Anonymous reporting on this issue is utterly cowardly imo.

Linning · 20/06/2020 20:26

[quote roarfeckingroar]@Linning that would be a very controlling way to run your company. You cannot punish someone because they might have seen something and chosen to not to get involved [/quote]
And that’s why I said I wouldn’t fire them.
But if the racist comments led to a loss of revenue that forced me to have to let go off staff then yes, the people who passively (and therefore actively) participated in that loss of revenue by not alerting me of an issue they knew could potentially damage the image of the company, would be the first to go.

Why, when given the choice, should other people be let go above someone who saw something that could potentially and did in fact damage the company?

There is nothing controlling about making sure that consequences affect the people involved adequately and accurately to the scale they played in something.

pinktaxi · 20/06/2020 20:32

It's so satisfying to block people you don't like.

kazzer2867 · 20/06/2020 21:12

seriously,
It would make for some uncomfortable conversations, which is not going to happen at work, nor would i post publicly on their facebook,
people would deny being racist but just repeat All lives matter and how wonderful Churchill was, support our troops

The only people that benefit from your silence are your racist work colleagues. if you are not speaking out, you are complicit. What is required, and is long overdue, is for people to start having uncomfortable conversations with people who find it so easy to make these racist comments.

SSJ2017 · 20/06/2020 21:23

The fact that you are having to think about/ask for opinions on whether to “hide” (not block or, what you should be doing, challenge) your “racist bigot” colleague because, you know, heck you’d miss out on some “irresistible” reading, is fucking disgusting. And before you try the same shit as you have with previous posters, this is based exactly on what you have said.

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