to Hide the racist bigot work colleagues from my facebook

[CrowdedHouseinQuarantine]

it is doing my blood pressure no favours,

however it is like scab, irresistible

what would you do?

hide them because they are from work, this is real life

racism and racist discrimination is also real, you know?

however i am not going to call stupid work colleagues out on it, I cannot change their attitudes, they are entrenched.

Unfortunately a lot of these people can't be challenged.

you aren't really much better than them, sorry. It is beyond me how one can possibly remain silent in these instances. Your covert non-reaction which is unfortunately much more the norm than the exception will enable the status quo to remain.

I saw a post on FB yesterday from an old school friend who was sharing a really awful racist rant about George Floyd. Historically I would have just unfriended / unfollowed but I do think we need to call people out. I did reply and had a few knuckle dragging idiots jump on me in response. I'll never change their minds but if she pauses slightly before sharing something like this in future then it's better than nothing.

i dont think work colleagues need any form of conversation from me regarding their attitudes.
good for you if that is how you react.

@CrowdedHouseinQuarantine

i dont think work colleagues need any form of conversation from me regarding their attitudes. good for you if that is how you react.

Then why did you post? What was the point of your thread?

You obviously don't care much about the opinion of Mumsnetters nor do you seem to oppose racism that much, so what advice were you after?

how do you come to that conclusion @linning?
prejudice ?

@Linning, I take your points as an argument about why racism should be confronted rather than ignored. I just don’t think there was any evidence from this OP of what you suggested- bragging, enjoying, can’t be bothered to confront etc. You’ve also included quotations of things that nobody here has said. Having said that, your second post has made me think a bit about how I react to stuff I find offensive online.

My FB is a bit of an echo chamber and I don’t see much right wing/racist/bigoted stuff. What there is tends to be naive (sharing a meme without really thinking) or people who want to do a bit of intellectual posturing. I have started responding to it all more than I once would have, and think it’s good that the discussion is out there. I wouldn’t blame anyone for hiding and unfriending these people though.

@CrowdedHouseinQuarantine

how do you come to that conclusion *@linning*? prejudice ?

OP: My colleague is racist, what would you do? Mumsnetters: We would have confronted them, otherwise it means you are complicit. OP: I don't think it's my job to say anything to them but good on you. Me: Okay, so why did you ask us what we would do, you obviously don't care what we would do/would have done and racism obviously isn't that big of a deal to yo as you would rather not speak against it when you have the chance. OP: Why are you saying this? That's prejudiced.

Hmm... yes OP, I am prejudiced against people who passively participate in the perpetuation of racial divide and racial discrimination by remaining silent when faced with a form of oppression that doesn't affect them.

The fact that you feel prejudiced by me, a person of color, for pointing out to you that pretending you are against racism while letting racists people go unchallenged is inconsistent is quite ironic and I really hope it doesn't get lost on you.

Id have called them out on it. Sorry but by just unfriending and ignoring their racism, you aren't any better. To actually be anti-racism you need to challenge and call out these behaviours. "not being a racist" simply isn't enough.

Linning is spot on and a well thought out post.

The OP is pretty much mirroring how she thinks her friends would react to being challenged - ie shutting up shop and sticking her fingers in her ears.

[quote redcarbluecar]@Linning, I take your points as an argument about why racism should be confronted rather than ignored. I just don’t think there was any evidence from this OP of what you suggested- bragging, enjoying, can’t be bothered to confront etc. You’ve also included quotations of things that nobody here has said. Having said that, your second post has made me think a bit about how I react to stuff I find offensive online.[/quote]
Enjoying: the (unnecessary) use of words such as ''iresistible'' when talking about a racist colleague's posts.
Bragging: Making a post about doing the ''right'' thing, is borderline bragging or wanting to get brownie points to me especially when, as expected, the OP didn't actually come for advice.
Can't be bothered to confront: She literally said she did not confront them, in fact she repeated it and defended it in her last comment.

She COULD have confronted her colleague and told her what she was saying was fucked up and not okay she CHOSE not to, she effectively couldn't be bothered. That's fine, but let's not pretend she cares or is bothered by racism if she can so easily ignore it.

seriously,
It would make for some uncomfortable conversations, which is not going to happen at work, nor would i post publicly on their facebook,
people would deny being racist but just repeat All lives matter and how wonderful Churchill was, support our troops

amazed others have time in their working life

I openly say that whilst I absolutely agree that black lives do matter and racism needed to be addressed, I do not support the BLM movement. If people actually read what they stand for, they might review their support. But some people believe if you don’t support BLM then you are racist. If someone though was being racist, I would obviously call them out on it. Every time.

I’d have challenged them, but would probably also (later) have unfollowed. I might say something to them at work too. However I’d delete anyone who I found particularly noxious, as FB is a place for ‘friends’, not people you dislike and with whom you have nothing in common.

OP did you at any stage challenge any of the posts, what did you mean by ‘irresistible’ and did you feel at any stage that you couldn’t be bothered to respond?

@CrowdedHouseinQuarantine

seriously, It would make for some uncomfortable conversations, which is not going to happen at work, nor would i post publicly on their facebook, people would deny being racist but just repeat All lives matter and how wonderful Churchill was, support our troops

Well Racism is uncomfortable isn't it? Fighting racism isn't bound to be pleasant, it certainly ISN'T pleasant for me, at the receiving end of Racism. If you can't put yourself through an ''uncomfortable'' conversation to fight a cause you supposedly believe in, are you REALLY anti-racist? if not, why not? If so, why aren't you fighting to end it and how come you manage to ignore racist acts without second thought?

Who cares if they won't be convinced? I don't expect a racist to stop being racist, but we are aiming for the SYSTEM to stop being racist. I don't care about Racist ''Karen" she means fuck all if she is the minority, but for that the majority NEEDS TO SPEAK UP and ACT and show they will not tolerate racist actions.

In the future, put yourself through the uncomfortable Convos, and when in doubt, imagine if those posts and views where about you and your children, because they are about me and mine.

It's not about convincing Karen, it's about making a stance and taking back control of the racist system to turn it into something fairer.

Tbf ‘all lives matter’ is fairly easy to challenge if you are so inclined! It’s such a weak argument.

I don't think it's a good idea to have work colleagues on Facebook at all, unless you are one of those people who essentially uses it as an addressbook/ noticeboard and doesn't actually post any thoughts or opinions on there.

Business and personal life are best kept separate.

@Livelovebehappy

I openly say that whilst I absolutely agree that black lives do matter and racism needed to be addressed, I do not support the BLM movement. If people actually read what they stand for, they might review their support. But some people believe if you don’t support BLM then you are racist. If someone though was being racist, I would obviously call them out on it. Every time.

I don't think anybody care if you support BLM or not (I don't), I think people care though, if you happen to be taking this time to make more of a point about how much you dislike and disagree with BLM instead of focusing on how much you hate and dislike racism.

It's the same with looting, sure hate the looters, but you are feeling more rage about the broken stores than you do racism and spend more time complaining about looters online and offline than talking and complaining about racism, then YES, maybe, you are a little prejudiced, and/or just not that bothered by racism.

A similar thing happened to me a few years ago, when a mum friend from one of the groups I went to posted filthy Islamaphobic stuff on her FB page. My immediate reaction was to unfriend her and block her. But then I felt bad for not saying anything. So I texted her explaining why I'd unfriended her. She was completely unrepentant so that was the end of our friendship.

Yes, you should have challenged her. I think some people feel intimidated into silence, especially when there's a big echo chamber. But if you don't challenge, then yes, you are tacitly condoning those disgusting views.

I got my FB account before I had LinkedIn so ended up with work colleagues ex and present on my FB. I deleted them all and connected on LinkedIn instead. If anyone asks, say you are limiting your FB to personal stuff and LinkedIn for professional.

I would challenge, and if necessary, report to HR with screen shots, particularly if they state where they work on social media.
Apathy and silence are fuel for these views, unfortunately.

She COULD have confronted her colleague and told her what she was saying was fucked up and not okay she CHOSE not to, she effectively couldn't be bothered. That's fine, but let's not pretend she cares or is bothered by racism if she can so easily ignore it.

so many assumptions,
However I am not confronting colleagues and telling her what she is saying is Fucked up.
my work life is not conducive to such behaviour.

To give you a visual example @livelovehappy

That's the length of your message:

Talking about how and why you don't like BLM:

I do not support the BLM movement. If people actually read what they stand for, they might review their support. But some people believe if you don’t support BLM then you are racist.

Vs your support for anti-racism:

I openly say that whilst I absolutely agree that black lives do matter and racism needed to be addressed. If someone though was being racist, I would obviously call them out on it. Every time.

You spent the same amount of time and actually went into more details talking about why you dislike BLM than you did into showing support for people of color.

There was also no need to say you dislike BLM because it wasn't relevant nor mentioned in the thread but you felt the need to anyway.

Not saying that makes you racist but just that that's what upsets people when people are like " I am not racist at all but let me tell you what I hate about a movement that's helping you guys gain more rights while not acknowledging really how much more problematic Racism is than the movement that represents you I am opposing, but I do support you guys, just not BLM/the looters/ etc, etc...''

It seems non-genuine, like you care more about what you hate and dislike about something than the good it does and how much worse what it's trying to fight is.

@CrowdedHouseinQuarantine

She COULD have confronted her colleague and told her what she was saying was fucked up and not okay she CHOSE not to, she effectively couldn't be bothered. That's fine, but let's not pretend she cares or is bothered by racism if she can so easily ignore it.

so many assumptions,
However I am not confronting colleagues and telling her what she is saying is Fucked up.
my work life is not conducive to such behaviour.

That's not an assumption, you could have typed a comment, you chose not to. The reasons why you didn't are irrelevant, you COULD have. No assumptions there. You could also report her to HR on the basis you are uncomfortable working with someone who is openly racist (though I am sure you won't do that).

Again, you are within your rights to excuse and justify your lack of actions however you see fit but it is further proof that you don't actually genuinely care about racism and ending it, and are much more bothered about mentally confirming to yourself that what you did was the perfect course of action than you ever were about making a change.