AIBU to wonder what is actually wrong with using reins on a child?

[FancyRutabaga]

When I had my PFB, I was very anti-reins, but now I can't actually remember why. I remember reading on here about people tutting at the sight of them,comments about how children aren't dogs etc

We had a very different set up with number, we lived in an isolated cul de sac with wide footpaths and bridleways, and it was a lot safer for PFB to roam free.

Now, with my current toddler, we live in a village with narrow cobbly streets and quite a lot of agricultural machinery pounding through regularly. She is also a slippery handed bolter,which sensible PFB was not. She is good at holding hands, but there's a few areas where she could have some independence but would need to be within grabbing distance, if that makes sense.

I've been given a little backpack with reins attached, and she has been a happier child since we started using it on our (now much more peaceful) walks.

I just can't see a problem to be honest. I remember seeing arguments about reins going on for pages, but now I look at her able to explore her environment whilst being safe, and I genuinely can't see what the issue was or why I was ever so against the idea

[Mammyofasuperbaby]

We use reins with our 4 year old who has absolutely no danger awareness and is as clumsy as the day is long. He is most likely autistic among other things but he will suddenly decide to run off and will not stop for anything ect. I can't risk his safety if I can't trust him to behave appropriately. Thankfully the only strange looks we get were at the nursery and my son looks a lot younger than he actually is so comments are rare

[MaleficentsCrow]

People who are anti-reins have never parented "the flash" they tend to have cooperative children who like to hold hands and not dart off.

Some of us weren't blessed with such children, mine is like a fly half, any gap is a go, and he runs off. Reins ment he didn't get in to any unessarary danger when deciding to attempt a world record sprint distance 😂

[FunkyBrownie]

I used a set for DS - they were sort of a loop from one shoulder blade to the other, rather than a long strap like a lead if you see what I mean. In all honesty, they were a lifesaver for my back. I’m 6ft and have spinal issues, so walking along bent over all the time so I could hold his hand was causing me real issues. The rein loop allowed me to walk upright and stop him face planting every time he took a tumble

[Lockheart]

I don't even understand why the comparison to a dog is seen as a bad thing. It's completely accurate and absolutely fine.

I leash my dog because I don't want him to bolt into the road or run up to people or get in the way. He could get hurt or lost if he wasn't on a lead.

I'd put my toddler on reins because I don't want them to bolt into the road or run up to people or get in the way. They could get hurt or lost if they're not on reins.

It's exactly the same reasoning and it's entirely sensible in both scenarios.

"But it's treating your child like a dog!" - and? I'm keeping them safe, not making them eat their food off the floor or go to the toilet outside.

[Toddlerteaplease]

I'm definitely pro reins. I removed wearing them as a toddler. I was with my godson and his mum in a cafe in a shopping centre and he bolted. I went after him and for a few seconds couldn't see him. It was heart stopping. And it wasn't even my child! (His mum made no effort to go after him!) also had to stop a toddler running into a road. Mum completely oblivious and didn't bother to say thankyou.

[Idontbelieveit12]

My son is almost 3 and a half, thinks he knows best about everything already....prior to lockdown we hadn’t used reins for ages but when we started going for more walks we were having daily battles about holding hands.
I tend to take his buggy, and loop the reins on the buggy handle and he walks next to it pushing his doll in his toy buggy. It keeps him safe.

[corythatwas]

Iirc my late FIL used to argue that using seatbelts turned people into bad drivers. From a purely behavioural pov, I suppose.

[Chaaaaaching]

I’ve never met anyone that is snobby about them, only on MN.

[viques]

The weird thing about the "child not a dog" believers is that they forget why you put a dog on a lead in the first place.

Dogs have no road sense.

Dogs run off to see something interesting without warning.

Dogs can get hurt by other dogs if they run off.

Not everyone likes dogs.

In fact the only advantage that dogs have over small children is that unfortunately while neither lost dogs or lost small children can tell someone their name address and phone number it is perfectly acceptable to microchip your dog with your contact details and no one bats an eye at a dog with a tag on its collar.

[CoolCarrie]

Reins were great for our ds , he was quick to walk , so reins were a must and we had no negative comments from anyone.

[BogRollBOGOF]

Reins were brilliant.
The other use is for securing wriggly houdini children into places like high chairs or supermarket trollies. Without being secured into the back of the seat via the reins so he couldn't slide up and down, DS would simply stand up and dive out to the concrete floor. A Costco trolley is a long way up...

The D rings were also handy in the pram to make a floating harness. Very secure but allowed a greater range of movement for turning around to observe.

My only thing against reins is that they don't get on with crutches which was awkward by the time I was heavily pregnant although DS was better at keeping close by then and my bigger issue was long-lasting, floor polishing tantrums.

[megletthesecond]

Nothing is wrong with reins. Only an idiot lets their toddler run free in busy areas or near roads.

Saw one this morning balancing on the bloody kerb. Parent merrily trotting behind.

[pickingdaisies]

My ds never ran off. He would walk beside his baby sister's pram, holding the bar while I pushed. Until the day he saw something and darted off, in the middle of town, and I had to briefly let go of the pram to grab him, turn and grab the pram. Luckily the road was clear. Bought reins that day. They are literally lifesaving.

[Heidi1976]

People can tut and comment all they want, if my child ran in the road and got hit because of the pressure to not 'treat a child like a dog' then I'd only have myself to blame. This is one of those things whereby other people's opinions can literally cause harm. Pro reins.

[Dixiechickonhols]

Never heard anyone say anything negative in real life. You tend to see more backpack with a lead on now. My dd is 14 and had traditional reigns. Much comfier for them not to walk with one arm up and for your back.

[Lincslady53]

In the 90s i had a shop in the middle of a shopping centre. We used to get a lot of mums with toddlers meeting up outside our shop. Their toddlers used to run around, often into our shop hiding from their mums, safe space and all that. When James Bulger was murdered, almost immediately all the toddlers were on reins, and it stayed that way for several years until the horror of that day faded from memories. Keep your kids safe.

[GoldenOmber]

Much comfier for them not to walk with one arm up and for your back.

Yes I‘ve always thought this too. Fine holding hands for short distances but if you’re going somewhere they can’t roam safely anyway it seems quite unfair and uncomfortable to spend every single walk with one arm right up in the air the whole time. Would rather they got to explore a bit, catch themselves with hands down if they trip, etc.

[Sailingblue]

I don’t really get the hate. I had a very compliant child so I never needed to use them but I had the rucksack ones just in case. It doesn’t take a lot of imagination to realise how useful reins would be with multiple children, bolsters etc. My second is just coming into the danger zone where she’s walking much more. I suspect she will be far less compliant than her sister as she is already trouble on legs.

[ratethesenames]

I used them with ds and will use them with next one. No one made any comments and the only funny looks I got was when we were abroad on holiday.

[AriettyHomily]

Id rather my twins on reins than under an articulated lorry. I really cannot see the problem with them.

[Starlightstarbright1]

I am a cm. toddler holds on pushchair . Reigns are an additional back up . It is my responsibility to keep the children safe , that said they can still be taught road safety on reigns as easily as holding hands .

[CarlottaValdez]

I'm keeping them safe, not making them eat their food off the floor or go to the toilet outside

I remember someone on here getting upset that some people gave their toddlers and babies food directly on highchair trays instead of plates. She felt that was also treating them like a dog. It really confused me, dogs have bowls!

[SimonJT]

Much comfier for them not to walk with one arm up and for your back.

Completely agree, I was unknowingly giving my son a shoulder injury when holding his hand, so after that I went to reins 100% of the time until he was taller.

[onalongsabbatical]

I don't like them much BUT I like them better than I like lost or squashed children. In paradise they would not be necessary. But that's not where most of us live, is it?

[JRUIN]

I have 5 children and did buy reins at one point, but found I never needed to use them even though, as a non driver, we walked everywhere. I do see how they could be useful though and would never look down on someone using them, quite the opposite in fact.