To think autistic people arent liserned to

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I would love to hear autistic peoples point of view on this. I feel that in conversations about autism autistic peoples voices are completely ignored. Autistic adults seem to be on the receiving end of nasty comments, often from some parents of children with autism and are ridiculed for giving their opinion on things.Surly things like weather you use person first language etc aren't up to neurotipical people?

[quote ThunderRocket]@Sherlockfactory I totally agree.

I pass quite well for neurotypical, but the moment I tell people about my autism they suddenly talk to me in the tones you'd talk to a baby, forget that I am competent at things, and seem to see me as if I'm a totally different and less capable person.

That, and talking about me to other people rather than talking to me. It does get tiring.[/quote]
Why did you bring it up though?

Usualy if someone is bringing up a condition they have its usually to ask for some allowance to be made for them.

And given the thread on here just asking to change your use of a single word for one person is a totally unreasonable request and grounds for ending the friendship, can you be surprised a lot of people cant be arsed to give any allowance and find a it easier to just replace you.

The problem is that people with autism aren’t one honomgenous group with one opinion. I have autism and I don’t go on the online groups any more because I’ve been shot down for preferring person first language and for saying honestly that if I could choose to get rid of my autism I would.

I would also get rid of my son’s autism. Do I love him less because of it? No. Do I value who he is any less because he has asd? No. But do I want him to struggle as I have? No again.

And I’d love to understand people better and not find the world so confusing.

But I got a very patronising ‘how sad that you’ve been so indoctrinated by an ableist society’ once. And I don’t think it’s ok for other adults with autism / autistic adults to tell me how to feel about myself or my condition.

I don't tell people I'm autistic. Not because it's a secret but because when I did as a teenager, I found I was treated differently, spoken to differently so I don't bring it up.

My friends all know I have autism, it's not been a problem.

@LauraMipsum I'm a BAP parent of 2 autistic kids and would never make assumptions about someone's intelligence base on their speech. I might be unusual based on my own experience, though. I was selectively mute (there is no term for this that doesn't jar with me) as a child and DS1 went through selectively mute to not speaking at all. All of his language is typed. He does communicate in other ways - even if that's by completely blanking us or freezing. OK, it's frustrating for us, but it's meaningful, we get it. We need to change the subject!

TheHarry I think that's a legitimate opinion. I wouldn't get rid of my own autism because I don't know what I'd end up like without it, it would be like wondering what I'd be like without my own skin (only without the information about nerve endings and how flesh operates and so on). But I also know how utterly exhausting it is, especially with a child too.

I also have a (very unpopular) opinion that although the majority of self-diagnosed people in autism groups are people who realise that this is the explanation of their differences, and who have ASD just as much as I do or you do, there are also quite a few who I honestly do not think have ASD, and are attention seeking, or worse, looking for a vulnerable group to engage with, and this small but vocal minority tend to be those who are most censorious both towards NT parents and towards others on the spectrum.

[it is possible to accommodate a person who prefers to be called autistic with a person who prefers person first language. I've done it here, QED. I'm suspicious of anyone who says it's entirely impossible.]

PickAChew I don't like the term selectively mute either, it implies some level of control which isn't my experience at all! But you're totally right, there are ways of communicating which are very clear other than speech.

Some really good posts here that I can relate to as an autistic adult. I wish Mumsnet incorporated a ‘like’ / favourite’ feature!

Although please could someone explain what pp means by this:
I have autism and I don’t go on the online groups any more because I’ve been shot down for preferring person first language and for saying honestly that if I could choose to get rid of my autism I would.

What do you guys mean by person first language? I don’t think I’m familiar with the concept, please excuse my ignorance

What do you guys mean by person first language? I don’t think I’m familiar with the concept, please excuse my ignorance

Don’t apologise.

“Person with autism” instead of “autistic person”.

Or the equivalent for any condition or disability. Literally putting the person first.

Person first is someone "with autism" as opposed to autistic or even, an autist.

Sorry I just googled and I think I may understand now. Obviously this is just my opinion, and cannot speak for others - I couldn’t care less whether I’m called autistic or person with autism.
Actions speak louder than words. I just wish I could be treated equally to neurotypical individuals

Thanks for filling me in ^
Gosh, I sound slightly callous in my previous post - just wanted to clarify although it doesn’t bother me whether people use person first language, I would still respect others choices on how they wish to be referred

I tend to agree with you @noseresearch

It’s a waste of time to bicker amongst ourselves.

Another one who prefers to use 'Aspergers' and I often refer to myself as an Aspie. I think it's a lot less austere than 'Autism' and I find that NT people tend to react less frequently like you've just announced you're a serial killer if you refer to Aspergers rather than Autism.

I don't really mind telling people about my diagnosis if I think it's relevant and there is a purpose for doing so, but I do get plenty of 'Oh, I'd never guess", or "You can't be!!!", and I think that's because a lot of NT people are still under the impression that all autistic individuals are either as dysfunctional and fragile as Raymond from 'Rain Man', or act like simpletons and behave like Forrest Gump.

Even my own mother is sceptical because I didn't particularly display much in the way of common autistic traits as a child, but I've had practically no relationship with her since I was a teen. I never spent any typical family time with her as a child anyway, and she'd never seen how I live as an adult. She's really not in ant position to diagnose me, despite being my parent.

This is the crux of the problem as I see it. Too much ingrained belief that all autistic people are either the same, share common traits, or can be spotted a mile off because we stand out like a sore thumb. It's simply not true. We're as varied from one to the other as NT people are, and it's often only the people who are around us constantly who actually notice our autistic behaviours or witness the meltdowns and stimming.

I have absolutely no problem interacting with strangers, meeting new people etc, yet my partner says there are days when I never look them in the eye at all, even though I'm not aware I'm doing that, and I literally can not look at portrait photographs of close relatives without becoming extremely uncomfortable and looking away. Go figure.

Oh, and I think the reactions of NT folk often stem from the fact that Autism is still perceived and thought of as a 'disability', and therefore you must be mentally deficient and/or dangerous in some way.

@XDownwiththissortofthingX

Oh, and I think the reactions of NT folk often stem from the fact that Autism is still perceived and thought of as a 'disability', and therefore you must be mentally deficient and/or dangerous in some way.

So very true.

The Rain Man/ Forrest Gump misconceptions too.

Sigh.

Should probably add that I personally accept that it is a disability, but only in the legal sense of the word. I certainly do not view myself as 'less able', even though there are things NT people take for granted that I simply can not do. What I mean is that although I wouldn't fight you if you described me as disabled, I'd deny I'm 'impaired', more that I choose not to do things that I know are problematic. I'm still physiologically capable of doing them, my brain just says nope for the sake of mental tranquility.

I think the deficits and the “superpowers” more than balance out in my favour. For me, but also for a lot of Aspie/people with HF ASCs that I come across.

It does seem very wrong to lump all presentations of autism in together.

I got lumbered with all the shit ones, like obsessiveness, compulsiveness, outrage at injustice, outrage at incompetence, and complete inability to cope with people who do not follow instruction.

I have the memory of a NASA supercomputer though when it comes to association, so colours of things, flags, badges, etc. So there is that I suppose.

complete inability to cope with people who do not follow instruction.

That one sounds especially familiar.

Re “Person with autism” instead of “autistic person”.

This argument over terminology strikes me as a massive neurotypical sideshow. I would like to know from autistic people whether they actually care about it.

I think it's words, words and no action.

I care about it because similar terms like "scizophrenic" and "wheelchair user" infuriate me.

You wouldn't use a diagnosis to name someone if they had "a fractured femur" or "hemorrhoids", so bin the "schizophrenic" term please, and "wheelchair user" emphasises the mechanical device over the person, essentially implying that is the primary part of a two item relationship.

"Person with a schizophrenia diagnosis", "person who uses a wheelchair" I have no problem with, so I'd be a hypocrite if I wasn't consistent when it came to autism, even though I don't particularly take offence when its used to describe me. I'm not the only autistic person around though, so people should also be a bit more considerate of those they are not addressing directly.

I am beyond sick of the comments on here, 'responding for their children or someone they know ect' stop voicing for someone with autism hence the point of the chat. I am a female with Aspergers, I hate people misunderstanding my humour; trying to speak for me. I can come across as harsh, but love it or hate it, I base my opinion on researched fact and/or honesty, take it or leave it my opinion is factual even if you don't approve, I struggle with change and germs and yes I am highly intelligent on paper, stop abusing me for it. Thank-you.

Personally I don't care what terms are used.