To think autistic people arent liserned to

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I would love to hear autistic peoples point of view on this. I feel that in conversations about autism autistic peoples voices are completely ignored. Autistic adults seem to be on the receiving end of nasty comments, often from some parents of children with autism and are ridiculed for giving their opinion on things.Surly things like weather you use person first language etc aren't up to neurotipical people?

This was published today, some of you may find it interesting, it seems relevant.

www.spectator.co.uk/article/the-danger-of-neurodiversity-?fbclid=IwAR3VyAjLHaL2J3eS6pdiuMGGl-r5xnAnKSclCWTloiTX1RvQaayCZlQo6FI

Sorry just caught the date, published last Jan, reissued on the Council for sa today

It really does feel like it. I hate how people in my last job just assumed I was thick.

@WaterWisp agreed, totally. They pay lip service to diversity in the NHS but it's bullshit. I asked to be excused from a diversity training meeting as I was really stressed with work due to a staff shortage and behind in my typing, plus I have fibro and I was exhausted and needed to go home and rest. None of the people I was working with at the time wanted to go as we were so bogged down with typing. It wasn't originally mandatory but then they decided we had to go. I had no way of getting out of it. I was put in a group discussion with a colleague who hated me, and the feeling was mutual, and she said 'Phil is clever, ask her' in a snotty way and really put me on the spot, and I had a meltdown and ran out in tears. My line manager said she'd never met an autistic person before and I said, "Now you have."

I mean, how fucking ironic can you get. You have someone with a disability RIGHT HERE not being able to cope with a meeting and you insist on them going AND staying overtime.

@thatsnotgoingtowork I'd say it is, in that it's had a major impact on my life and it's caused a lot of problems at work and with other people. I cannot work in office jobs with other people, things will always go tits up.

I haven't got the energy to reply at the moment, but I just wanted to to say thank you to the OP for starting this thread and to all the posters who shared their experiences, so many of which were the same as my own. Made me cry.

Yes, fundamentally I disagree with 'disorder', which is why I have issues with the medical model, but I do not have any problem with autism being a recognised disability and the legal protections and access to services that come with it.

I work in software development & I think most of us are autistic.

It’s pretty standard in our industry. We need support & lots of it! It needs to be industry wide and available from further education - uni - workplace.

I’m autistic (don’t really care how it’s phrased tbh. It’s just a word) and it surprises people because I “look normal”! It’s not a disorder for all. It’s a blessing for me (apart from when I embarrass myself).

Being autistic has taught me how to really know myself. I’m clever (but completely naive). I’m funny. I’m beautiful. I’m quirky & intuitive. I’m strong.

I think I’m going to label myself as “neurobeautiful” from now on.

I also have epilepsy which is most definitely a neurological disorder / disability. I’m under the care of 2 neurologists & frequently in neurology. So yes, I am neurobeautiful!

@Teacuplady86 you know what you do sound neurobeautiful! Your words really have moved me to tears!

That’s going to be my motto from now on! Whenever I get negative comments about my dd which equate to her being belittled or not listened to I’m going to push back eg

Them: Mini Once was melting down all day today

Me: I’m really sorry to hear Mini Once was distressed today. What do you think was the trigger for that?

This is a personal reflection (I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome) and I know this does not apply to all autistic people.

I agree it’s not a disorder, and I think it is a difference which can be beneficial for example logical thinking, practical problem solving, creativity. But due to world being structured for neurotypical people, that difference means we can become incapacitated in situations and neurotypical people just don’t understand why we possibly could be reacting the way we are. And we are unable to explain why, so we are seen to be acting strangely, inconsiderately, rudely or just plain awkward and the most awkward thing for me is it usually takes DAYS to work out why I reacted that way, if I do at all.

I seem to have a broken link between inner brain which is processing everything, and the bit which converts the “machine code” into comprehensible thought-language and then words that can be spoken and understood; I am unable to process what is happening around me, respond to it or articulate why I am thinking/reacting in this way and then I hate myself for not being able to do what neurotypicals do ie remain in control. (I realise I am generalising neurotypicals here of course). And that definitely is a disability.

So a disorder no, a difference yes - but one which can be positive, but it is also, for me, a disability due to these moments where life seems pretty intolerable, and I seem to be viewed as pretty intolerable too.

@Scautish I find that people often seem to find dd unlikeable but it’s hard to see why. I wonder if they looked beyond received ideas about politeness and took things as they are intended by dd (like a translation from ND to NT) then maybe they wouldn’t misinterpret her actions? Maybe?

@onceuponatimethen

Yes many (but not all) people seem to instantly take a dislike to someone who seems to not confirm or who Doesn’t know all these mysterious and subtle social “niceties” that seem to come naturally to most.

I am polite - please and thank you. I really try not to overburden people and to help when I can. But I can’t do the voice changes, the face expressions (well I do some), I’m not tactile (I hate the whole hug kiss touch thing). I am always thinking so apparently this makes me look angry/worried/sad and generally unapproachable.

I don’t have many friends, but the few I have like me. I’m isolated in my village but I have my family and dog and cat. Which is actually ok though I still don’t understand and some takes it makes me sad and I think “what is wrong with me”.

@Teacuplady86

I work in software development & I think most of us are autistic.

It’s pretty standard in our industry. We need support & lots of it! It needs to be industry wide and available from further education - uni - workplace.

I’m autistic (don’t really care how it’s phrased tbh. It’s just a word) and it surprises people because I “look normal”! It’s not a disorder for all. It’s a blessing for me (apart from when I embarrass myself).

Being autistic has taught me how to really know myself. I’m clever (but completely naive). I’m funny. I’m beautiful. I’m quirky & intuitive. I’m strong.

I think I’m going to label myself as “neurobeautiful” from now on.

I also have epilepsy which is most definitely a neurological disorder / disability. I’m under the care of 2 neurologists & frequently in neurology. So yes, I am neurobeautiful!

What a wonderful way to put it!

@Scautish we find with our son it can days to find out what triggered a meltdown too

Yes many (but not all) people seem to instantly take a dislike to someone who seems to not confirm or who Doesn’t know all these mysterious and subtle social “niceties” that seem to come naturally to most.

The thread about holding cutlery and similar threads on here are proof of that.

I haven't read the full thread yet, but I am going to, probably over the course of the afternoon.

I was just wondering if anyone could recommend a professional in the London area who specialises in the diagnosis of autism in adults. My student daughter, aged 21, was diagnosed with dyspraxia 5 years ago, but now thinks she is also autistic and I think she is probably right. She wants to have a formal assessment so that she can better understand herself, as she has been struggling quite a bit over the years and this has impacted upon her mental health.

I so want to help and support her and try to understand her condition and seek out whatever support there may be to help her. So any recommendations as to therapists, websites, support groups, books etc, would be wonderful.

So sorry, I don't mean to hijack the thread and maybe I should start a new one, but I thought that there might be some posters who might be able to advise. Thanks.

@Tenebrae there have been a couple of threads on this in the SN section. I hope you get some good names

Tenebrae I've been looking into getting a private diagnosis as have been told that in my area the NHS wait could be 2-3 years. I've seen the Lorna Wing Centre recommended a lot on the SN boards, especially for women with autism. It's in Bromley and they also have a branch in East London/Essex. I'm just starting to look into this, so no personal experience. The Mumsnetters with SN board is a good place for questions like this, and I've also got a lot ofuseful/supportive info from reading through some of the old threads there.

Thank you so much for the advice Once and larklight. I have looked on the SN board, which has been helpful and I may explore if DD's university can help. Good luck lark, I hope that it all works out for you!

@Lifejacket

That article claims that the neurodiversity movement is trying to stop autistic people getting treatment, which I can't say I've come across and he doesn't provide any examples.

Total strangers have questioned my autism authenticity based on my eye contact; I had to learn to make eye contact because you lot told me this is socially approved! I wish you NTs knew the amount of work we put in just to be ‘high functioning’ which is socially acceptable I’ve heard 🙄

Same here Herbalteahippie except I don't make eye contact. I force myself to look at a spot on the forehead which gives the impression of eye contact.