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AIBU?

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Original poster

Breastfeeding in public

514 replies

Forgivenandsetfree · 16/06/2020 20:35

Inspired by a comment I have seen on Facebook.
I breastfed until 22 months, towards the end I didn't feed in public because of course she was eating by then but when she was small I did. Luckily I never had an issue and was treated well in my local Macdonalds and Costa, but the comment said most people have issues with Bf in public, aibu to think this isn't true?
YABU- I faced issues/I don't like it.
YNBU- I don't/ didn't have a problem.

OP posts:
sqirrelfriends · 17/06/2020 13:22

*@Wolfgirrl @hensolo not touching. Itching. Awful paraphrasing on your part.
*
Surely to itch something you need to touch it in some way?

Seriously though, your implying that breastfeeding in public past a certain point is disgusting. Personally I find your attitude disgusting and really unfair on mothers who breastfeed past the point you deem acceptable. We don't do it because we feel like flopping our tits out, we're doing it for our children. Their nutritional or emotional need for milk doesn't stop at 6 months, so why wouldn't they still be fed?

Most people try their hardest to breastfeed discreetly, but that can be difficult with a fussy baby or one who doesn't like their face covered. Is seeing a flash of boob such a bad thing really?

crazychemist · 17/06/2020 13:22

@HenSolo, @ShebaShimmyShake we haven't had the best bingo references yet, but it's heading that way! Give it another hour at best Grin

poisson428 · 17/06/2020 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FriedasCarLoad · 17/06/2020 13:26

I try to be as discreet as possible - I don't want to expose any of my breast, so wear a nursing dress or top and then use a nursing cover. Muslins aren't big enough for my giant boobs and wriggly babies!

However, some women find it hard to be discreet , especially when starting out. And others simply don't see the need to. I support their right to breastfeed "indiscreetly"

TheDIsiilusionedAnarchist · 17/06/2020 13:26

I’m of the ‘flop it out’ anywhere brigade. DD is 17 months now and until recently preferred both out so she could switch at will. I did draw the line at that on the bus.

However never made the slightest effort to be discreet, why would I? And only one mildly negative comment. A woman commented loudly to her husband ‘you don’t know where to look now?’. He to his credit was embarrassed by her and hurried her off the bus.

It’s time to stop policing women’s perfectly legal and normal behaviour in public, if you want to be discreet then do, if you want to breastfeed ‘ostentatiously’ then go right ahead. If you don’t like how someone else is breastfeeding, then look away or move.

Wolfgirrl · 17/06/2020 13:29

until recently preferred both out so she could switch at will.

Lordy, watch the bf extremists on here do mental gymnastics as they try to backtrack on saying these situations 'never happen' 😂😂

Marahute · 17/06/2020 13:30

I breastfed my first until 2.5 and currently feeding my second at 18 months.
My first I breastfed out and about (if DC asked for milk, I wouldn't offer) until we weaned. I never had any negative comments, and a few positive ones. There were a couple of occasions when I got (what seemed like) disapproving looks, but no one ever actually said anything to me (so could have been imagining it). Second time around I have fed less out and about, but that led by DC2 who doesn't ask as much.

I have zero issue with public breastfeeding (either doing it myself or others doing it). Crack on ladies!

One thing I hate is when people say "Oh I don't mind public breastfeeding, as long as it's discreetly done!" Biscuit
I think I was always reasonably discreet about it TBH, but that was more for my own comfort than anyone who might have been watching me. I don't see what harm a brief glimpse of a nipple has ever done to anyone and I think all these mock "supportive" views on BF in public are just another barrier that make women worry/uncomfortable about it. Am I doing it right? Etc. It's a perfectly natural, (dare I say pleasant?) thing, and no woman should worry about doing it in public, because of what other people might think. After all we all have the ability to look away if we don't want to see a breast doing what it was made to do, don't we?

Wolfgirrl · 17/06/2020 13:30

@TheDIsiilusionedAnarchist

Switch between them at will? 😂😂

Admit it you wanted someone to say something so you could go crying to the tabloids with a defiant sad face photo!

ShebaShimmyShake · 17/06/2020 13:31

@TARSCOUT

I detest BF in public. It isn't because I've been conditioned to see breasts as a sexual object, nor am I a failed bfeeder. I really just hate it. I wouldn't say anything or make any attempt to make anyone feel uncomfortable but if mum catches my face at the same time as I notice she'll see my feelings plain as day but that isn't intentional. And in a restaurant sadly I would probably leave as it turns my stomach. I wouldn't blame the bf either I would make up an excuse. Don't want to be mean but the question was asked.
This really isn't a normal reaction and you might want to try to look at how it got conditioned into you.
ShebaShimmyShake · 17/06/2020 13:33

@Wolfgirrl

until recently preferred both out so she could switch at will.

Lordy, watch the bf extremists on here do mental gymnastics as they try to backtrack on saying these situations 'never happen' 😂😂

You can be an extremist over breastfeeding?

What the frig do you think women are shooting out of them? Molotov cocktails?

FatalSecrets · 17/06/2020 13:34

I find it really weird people who are so against extended breastfeeding spend such an inordinate amount of time discussing it.

I know when I’m not interested in something I, and this is totally radical so bear with me, don’t seek out discussion on the topic.

LaurieMarlow · 17/06/2020 13:37

Oh so now we have ‘extremist’ BFing.

Do tell what that would involve. Clearly I missed a trick.

LaurieMarlow · 17/06/2020 13:39

I think all these mock "supportive" views on BF in public are just another barrier that make women worry/uncomfortable about it.

Absolutely. It’s policing it in a ‘oh but of course I’m not policing it’ way.

Dishonest.

FleurDaxeny · 17/06/2020 13:40

However never made the slightest effort to be discreet, why would I?
because we are not animals, and it's such a natural thing to do, it's ridiculous to willingly make a massive fuss about it, it makes you look silly, you are clearly looking for reactions. A bit pathetic really.

FleurDaxeny · 17/06/2020 13:42

I think all these mock "supportive" views on BF in public are just another barrier that make women worry/uncomfortable about it.

all of us stating that we managed to BF in public without inconvenience or any negative reactions are the completely opposite of that..

some people just like to create trouble when there's none. I can't think of 1 friend or anyone I know ever mentioning a negative comment about BF in public... Not everybody is looking for their 5 minutes of sad face in the DM.

LaurieMarlow · 17/06/2020 13:42

I detest BF in public. It isn't because I've been conditioned to see breasts as a sexual object, nor am I a failed bfeeder. I really just hate it. I wouldn't say anything

That’s fine so long as you acknowledge it’s your own issue and would never do anything to make those BFing uncomfortable.

I hate seeing men’s feet in sandals. Obviously I have no right to comment on that to sandal wearers in any way. It would be staggeringly rude.

HenSolo · 17/06/2020 13:42

Pretty sure ‘bf extremist’ should be on the bingo card

sqirrelfriends · 17/06/2020 13:43

Switch between them at will? 😂😂*

Admit it you wanted someone to say something so you could go crying to the tabloids with a defiant sad face photo!*

That's really not on @Wolfgirrl? You seem to really enjoy being nasty. I can't decide if that's just what you're like or if you're sad and bitter. Hmm

LaurieMarlow · 17/06/2020 13:44

because we are not animals

We’re mammals. We feed our children like mammals do.

The only reason anyone would have an issue is because they’ve been culturally conditioned to see breasts as first and foremost for men’s sexual pleasure.

I don’t see how that’s some kind of superior position to take myself.

LaurieMarlow · 17/06/2020 13:45

Pretty sure ‘bf extremist’ should be on the bingo card

It is now Grin

FleurDaxeny · 17/06/2020 13:46

Obviously I have no right to comment on that to sandal wearers in any way.

unless you are in the work place... time and a place hey!
As opposed to BF, which is pretty much acceptable any time any place unless you specifically chose to do it to get a reaction.

HenSolo · 17/06/2020 13:47

because we are not animals, and it's such a natural thing to do, it's ridiculous to willingly make a massive fuss about it, it makes you look silly, you are clearly looking for reactions. A bit pathetic really.

We are animals actually, that’s why we lactate like mammals because we are mammals (GCSE I think)

No one breastfeeding in public is making a fuss about it. Just getting on with it. We don’t need the added hassle of worrying about what others think about this perfectly natural (you were right about that bit!) act

FleurDaxeny · 17/06/2020 13:47

LaurieMarlow
We’re mammals. We feed our children like mammals do.

some of us have evolved a bit from the animal stage, but if that's something that makes you proud... each to their own. My 4 kids have all been breastfed btw, happily and peacefully Wink

FatalSecrets · 17/06/2020 13:50

some of us have evolved a bit from the animal stage, but if that's something that makes you proud... each to their own. My 4 kids have all been breastfed btw, happily and peacefully

I'm so sorry you're obviously feeling insecure about your parenting which can be really awful. Have you tried to unpack why that is?

FleurDaxeny · 17/06/2020 13:50

FatalSecrets
not sure I get the point of your goady post? Care to elaborate?