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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours and Weed

84 replies

Pewwhatasmell · 15/06/2020 22:51

NC.

We had new neighbours move in about a month ago. Very young couple, 22 max, 2 kids. It's their first house, he works shifts, and you can tell they're still finding their way in life. Ok to chat to. That's the good bits.

They are very vocal, argue a lot, the kids are screaming around 18 hours of the day. We are already pretty fed up with them but keep reminding ourselves that these are strange times and it may get better after lockdown. We're also both quite avoidant to confrontation.

They quite obviously smoke weed, and a lot of it. The man put a chair half way down our garden to smoke it during the day (facing towards our decking / seating area which was previously quite private), but at night smokes indoors. The smell is permeating through our walls and into our house (we're both mid terrace). I used to smoke weed and am fairly non judgemental about it, but my house fucking stinks. Plus knowing they have a toddler and a baby indoors, it makes me very uneasy.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? DP has offered to have a quite chat which I hope will help, but I'm not sure. I think we should report to SS due to the children, DP concerned that they will immediately know it's us and could lash out.

I suffer quite badly from anxiety and am often torn about what to do in difficult situations, hence reaching out to MN. If anyone has been in a similar situation would be keen to hear your solutions.

OP posts:
maddy68 · 15/06/2020 22:58

It doesn't come.through walls!

Honestly it doesn't bother me (although I do understand as I cannot stand the smell of normal cigarettes. , Weed smell is nice (to me)

He probably sits half way down ten garden to avoid the smell coming into people's gardens. I'd rather be next to stoners than drinkers

I wouldn't say or do anything

Original poster
Pewwhatasmell · 15/06/2020 23:00

Well it's coming through the doors, windows, everything. These are 2 up 2 down terraces and we're in really close quarters.

OP posts:
crispysausagerolls · 15/06/2020 23:01

YANBU one of our neighbours apples weed and it is fucking antisocial, smells rank and I don’t want to have to smell it/have DS inhale it.

I would be extremely worried if they are constantly yelling/children screaming and they are potheads. Yes to SS.

namechangetheworld · 15/06/2020 23:11

You have my sympathies OP. We were in your exact position a few years ago. Our revolting ex-neighbours used to constantly smoke weed in their house and garden, around their toddler children. Any time we dared to open our living room windows or patio doors the smell came straight in. It used to make our washing reek.

Anybody who claims that weed 'chills you out' is delusional - both of them were angry, violent, and constantly screaming at each other.

I was so close to reporting them to SS on several occasions but DH convinced me that nothing would be done and it would just cause even more tensions.

Original poster
Pewwhatasmell · 15/06/2020 23:15

I was so close to reporting them to SS on several occasions but DH convinced me that nothing would be done and it would just cause even more tensions.

@namechangetheworld, this is our concern. They have already made us feel uncomfortable in our own home (again, trying to stay zen and hope that it improves as lockdown eases) and I think it has the potential to get worse if we rock the boat.

I really don't care what they do, and I can (mostly) put up with the noise, but we spent a lot of money and time renovating this house to make it perfect when we bought it last year and I really don't like it stinking of someone else's drugs.

OP posts:
maddy68 · 15/06/2020 23:19

I find it strange , the UK is one of the few countries that weed is illegal and therefore deemed unacceptable.

It doesn't make the children at risk anymore than children of non smokers

chubbychipmonk · 15/06/2020 23:19

I would report to police and SS. This is the problem, too many people don't want to get involved and then all these children exposed to situations they shouldn't be slip through the net.
If you can smell it Hth at strongly in the house maybe he's growing it? Does the house have a loft??

maddy68 · 15/06/2020 23:22

Can you have a polite word about the noise ? They may not realise. And suggest that perhaps they close their windows when smoking weed as it's very strong and it's coming into your home. But definitely don't make a massive deal out of it

priya38 · 15/06/2020 23:28

I think reporting them to ss is taking it a little too far.

dancinguser · 15/06/2020 23:43

I feel for you OP. I've had two neighbours who smoke weed, it absolutely does come through into the house even when all of the windows and doors are closed. Is it a rented house? You may be able to report the issue to their landlord if so, if not then I'd give 101 a call and see what they advise.

From my experience it will never stop until you or they move out. Very selfish how many people make their neighbours endure the stench of their habits, just because they are happy with their house stinking doesn't mean we all are.

RedHelenB · 16/06/2020 08:20

What do you mean by "kids are screaming alot?"

Jumblebumblemess · 16/06/2020 08:26

Police and SS will do fuck all. I have the same problem and reported it over and over and they are just not bothered. The child here must absolutely stink of weed when they go to school and I cannot believe nothing has happened.

Move house. It's the only way! Also if you report you will then have to declare it on selling which will fuck us up when we get a buyer (we are on the market now).

Original poster
Pewwhatasmell · 16/06/2020 09:15

Jumble, really not an option, we only bought this place just over a year ago and spent a fair amount doing it up. We won't have made that money back yet, plus where would we go? I don't think we should have to move because of someone else's habit.

Helen, literally a mix between shrieking because he's not got his own way, shouting at the top of his voice because he can and arguing with his mum at full pelt. They had another child over for a sleepover on Saturday (not been following lockdown either) and they ran up and down the garden going AAAAAAAAGH for 2 hours.

I think that they're very young, in their first proper home and don't know what's appropriate yet. I just wish it didn't have to be us that tells them 😬

OP posts:
GinDrinker00 · 16/06/2020 09:17

YABU reporting them to SS. It’s not like they’re taking crack in front of their kids...have a quiet word, no need to get over dramatic.

Alittleshortforaspacepooper · 16/06/2020 09:26

I doubt that social services or police would do much, if anything, about this, but that doesn't mean that you can't go and speak to them yourself.

Personally I would say something to them if it was really bothering me.

heartsonacake · 16/06/2020 09:27

I would report to the police (every single time you smell weed) and social services. Drug taking, screaming people aren’t fit to be parents.

FranCan · 16/06/2020 09:28

:( this is not a nice situation to be placed in. have you tried discussing it with them ? perhaps try to come up with a nice solution? bribe them with a space cake lol...

starrynight87 · 16/06/2020 09:29

How horrible, I would feel exactly the same.

ThisShitCrazy · 16/06/2020 09:48

You live in very close quarters and are opting to report to the police and social services over speaking to them personally? They will know it's you and any relations between you will be ruined. Better off to just mind your own

ThisShitCrazy · 16/06/2020 09:49

The police don't even come out to house burglaries anymore... you think they will come out every time you smell a joint?

Original poster
Pewwhatasmell · 16/06/2020 09:53

@ThisShitCrazy at what point did I say I was opting? And when did I mention the police? I'm here trying to figure out the best thing to do.

OP posts:
MaidenMotherCrone · 16/06/2020 10:00

The best thing to do would be to speak to him, ask him if he could move his chair to the bottom of the garden as you can smell it in the house. Job done.

NameChange84 · 16/06/2020 10:00

YANBU we have new neighbours, fairly middle class, in their 50s who appear to be weed smokers as our garden now stinks of weed since they’ve moved in. They also have a grandchild that comes round with a quad bike and revs it up over an over for an hour at a time. So anti social. It’s disgusting to have to put up with the smell of weed in our own garden...it’s so strong and both detached houses so God knows how you are coping smelling it through walls. I’ve even wondered if next door are growing it as the smell is so strong and vile but it seems to be intermittent in the evenings and mid afternoon. It is bad enough to have to move inside and not enjoy our own garden.

Boopear · 16/06/2020 10:05

God, what a nightmare. I have friends who have this problem - Victorian semi, massive gaps in the interconnecting walls.

Things to try:

  • Report to Environmental Health. Best best of getting anything done if it is coming into your home.
  • if you can, strip back the floorboards and try to find/plug the gaps. Not ideal, but does help a lot
  • You can buy air purifiers designed to filter out smoke which apparently help a lot as well.

And, yes, have a word Smile. Good luck!

Imcrapwithusernames · 16/06/2020 10:07

**literally a mix between shrieking because he's not got his own way, shouting at the top of his voice because he can and arguing with his mum at full pelt. They had another child over for a sleepover on Saturday (not been following lockdown either) and they ran up and down the garden going AAAAAAAAGH for 2 hours.

Social services wont do anything about loud children.

Knock your neighbours door and say sorry but your weed is stinking up my house...chances are he will apologise and try and smoke outside.

Drama over.