Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I know I’m being nosey but

128 replies

Allsorts2020 · 15/06/2020 20:08

My neighbours sit in their garden from 10am until 9pm in her pjs. I think they’re married. Around early 30’s. The woman doesn’t work (ever since I moved here years ago) the guy is at home at the mo with all this Covid. They don’t have any kids and she is always bossing him around and doing 90% of the talking from What I overhear.

I just find it strange.

OP posts:
earthyfire · 15/06/2020 23:37

You know a lot about their lives. Perhaps live you own, you seem obsessed with watching your neighbours. So what if she's in her PJ's in her own garden! Shock horror!

shakeituntilyoumakeit · 15/06/2020 23:50

Suzanne?

Whataloadofshite · 15/06/2020 23:51

Mind your own business. 🙄

KitKatKit · 15/06/2020 23:59

@Whataloadofshite

Mind your own business. 🙄
This.
SpillTheTeaa · 16/06/2020 00:00

I sound emotional? Says the one writing about her neighbours private life 😂. Are you sure you're okay? You seem a bit unhinged.

copperoliver · 16/06/2020 00:21

Maybe she has something wrong with her, so can't be too physical. X

spaghettios · 16/06/2020 01:44

Oh god if you hadn’t have said they don’t have kids I would have thought this was about me. Blush

I do do 100% of the cooking and cleaning though. And my bossiness is usually related to the billions of projects DH starts, half finishes, and then leaves lying around never to be touched again. Angry

I’ll even on occasion get dressed if I have to run errands. Blush

HotMessTryNotToStress · 16/06/2020 01:55

It’s unusual maybe and yes I’d probably talk about it to my DH in a nosey neighbour kind of way, ‘oh Brenda has been out in the garden again all day in her PJ’s’.
But I wouldn’t start up a thread on a forum about it TBH as it has really got nothing whatsoever to do with me and I would rightly expect a shit storm of comments.

Yeahnahmum · 16/06/2020 02:08

Sitting outside in your pyamas for 11 hours is not weird.

It is beyond weirdGrin.

Tsubasa1 · 16/06/2020 02:12

She's probably diasabled. Not that you have bothered to ask her or get to know her.

1forAll74 · 16/06/2020 02:22

It is what they do, so forget it. I am not sure why people would wear pyjamas all day though, I have seen people out shopping in them. and it looks rough to me.

Euclid · 16/06/2020 02:27

Mind your own business OP. From the wording of your post I assume that you are a single woman with nothing else to occupy you. The legal term for people like you is "spinster". I know that it is a horrible word but it describes busybody women very well.

CuppaZa · 16/06/2020 02:34

If you know she is out in her garden, in her pyjamas, for 11 hours a day...you are over invested OP.

user1468538201 · 16/06/2020 02:41

No but about it you are just nosy. Nosy enough to watch and listen to your neighbours (secretly I suspect), and nosy enough to now ask for others opinions on their behaviour. I feel for the neighbours.

HotMessTryNotToStress · 16/06/2020 02:46

See what I mean OP, now you are an over invested spinster / busybody woman of all things according to PP’s. Sadly I think it’s too late to turn this thread around.
Although I for one would like to know what type of pj’s she likes to wear, colour, fabric, style, comedy ones, elegant ones, loose or tailored, so many options, too many to list. The more I read the more invested I am.

ilovesooty · 16/06/2020 02:52

@Tsubasa1

She's probably diasabled. Not that you have bothered to ask her or get to know her.
Exactly. I hope she isn't on here and recognising herself. It wouldn't be very pleasant to read that your neighbour was encouraging people to think you were lazy, controlling and had a rank dressing gown.
Graphista · 16/06/2020 03:02

Jesus! Yet another ignorant "I don't understand" actually meaning "I don't approve" thread!

It's entirely possible she is sick/disabled. There are any number of conditions that would not be obvious to your nosiness!

OR that's just the lifestyle that suits them and perhaps he earns enough to keep them both so again NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

I'm sick/disabled yet can easily to the casual observances of neighbours WHO DO NOT KNOW ME appear able bodied and minded.

I'm actually housebound due to severe ocd which causes agoraphobia, depression and anxiety, plus I have a spinal disability which at the moment (mainly with the aid of VERY strong painkillers and daily physio) is manageable but in the future I may need mobility aids, I already have equipment in my home and techniques/workarounds to manage it too which they of course cannot see.

Your observances could also apply to

my mum - a 3 time cancer survivor with arthritis, very poor eyesight though not yet legally blind

My aunt - has a serious heart condition which means she can't walk more than 3-4 steps at a time but stubbornly refuses to use a wheelchair

My uncle - a transplant survivor with ongoing kidney issues and also a dicky heart

You CANNOT tell what someone's life is like from such minimal knowledge

If she's irritated by selfish/thoughtless parking it could well be because she can't walk far without health consequences.

Bear in mind too that those of us with chronic illness/disability can find our worlds become very small as a result so it's not unusual to fixate on things that impact us even more and make our worlds even smaller.

I’m purely stating what I’m observing

No you're not! You've started a whole thread about her, your language is shockingly nasty and judgmental and smug!

I hope in the future when you're not as fit and healthy as you are now - because we all get old and infirm at some point! You'll look back on this and feel thoroughly ashamed!

I am not sure why people would wear pyjamas all day though

I only get dressed if I know I'm going to be seen! Eg if I've a grocery or other delivery due or am going to be speaking to someone on FaceTime.

Why? In my case because it hurts to undress and dress, because doing it unnecessarily more than once a day puts me at risk of injury (I change when I assess I'm at my "most limber" in the day, usually around midday), because what does it matter to anyone else what I do in the privacy of my own home?!

I'm more comfy in pjs (although not actually pjs in my case as I prefer leggings and a t-shirt as they're even easier to deal with, I can mostly change without hardly standing up - which can be a real struggle for me on worst days - I've learned ways that work easiest for me which you'll find is what most sick/disabled people do - they find ways to manage!)

MarinePsychiatrist · 16/06/2020 03:03

Whether she's disabled or not, what she wears and how much time they spend in their garden is nobody's business but their own! Starting a thread about them online is very strange and judgemental.

Classicbrunette · 16/06/2020 03:13

I wear pjs all day when I’m not going anywhere, I’ve been out in the garden in pjs. It’s a shared garden and we all live on top of each other in flats. . I don’t work and I have a very nosey neighbour. If I go out she wants to know where I’ve been, where I’m going, and because she won’t be going back to work at all, I’m stuck with this. It’s like she’s part of the family weather I like it or not. She’s lonely, has a heart of gold, but she doesn’t half moan about the dead leaves falling off the laurel.

When I lived in my detached house I have been known in the past to see what’s going on with neighbours by standing on a step ladder and peering over the fence, only because I wanted to see what they had done with their garden layout.

In these weird times, you cant but help notice what your neighbours do. And if they act somewhat different then it becomes all the more interesting 🧐

Ponoka7 · 16/06/2020 03:38

@Fartlek, she probably is smoking. But my plan, put together with a specialist HCP for recovery from Chronic Fatigue, involved building up my walking. Tiredness could overcome me, which caused confusion and I was recovering from a serious illness, so I wouldn't go far from my house.

To look at me you wouldn't have known that I was seriously ill. I live in PJs if I'm not going out. People live with all sorts of conditions, including chronic pain, but look well. Or it could be a mental health issue.

He might have to talk to people all day at work, so is happy to just listen.

groovergirl · 16/06/2020 03:46

OP, have you ever spoken to them? You're clearly fascinated. You could start the small talk by complimenting their garden. If they're out there for 10 hours a day you have plenty of time to catch their attention and chat about the shrubbery.

Or do you prefer the creative reverie that comes with spying on them? Wink

Smallsteps88 · 16/06/2020 03:51

My neighbours sit in their garden from 10am until 9pm in her pjs.

How big are her PJs if they both fit in them?

Monty27 · 16/06/2020 04:40

OP get.busy in a positive way. You'll be chewing your own knickers in excitement shortly

noisyneighbours · 16/06/2020 04:59

Thank goodness my neighbours are both still going out to work, otherwise there'd be MN threads about us lazy bastards and our shithole garden too Grin

randomer · 16/06/2020 08:49

I can't sit still for 11 minutes, never mind 11 hours.

@Daphne, I think you re correct

Swipe left for the next trending thread