To be following the guidance still?

[shakeituntilyoumakeit]

everyone I have spoken to appears to be breaching the rules in some way, some apologetically, some not, some big, some small, from people who have carried on seeing partners all the way through this to friends presently at their holiday home. Am I the dickhead here for doing what I’m told? two of my household are sheilding and we’ve been invited to two parties this weekend.

I am OP and it’s breaking me to see friends and neighbours doing what they want. It’s actually affecting almost all my friendships which is really upsetting.

"@Gwenhwyfar your friend is one person out of 60 million though. "

His situation might be common though. When he posted on FB, a friend of his said she'd caught it without going out at all and the only thing she can think of is that her daughter touched a gate while out jogging (should have sanitised her hand straight away I know).

We got to week 10 and then started to break down a bit.

I had a "socially distant" walk with my mum, but although we tried to keep apart, and didn't touch each other, we were closer than 2m most of the time.
Last week was a friend's birthday. It was raining, so we sat in her conservatory with the outside door open.
We shall be forming a social bubble with my mum at some point next week as well. Which is allowed, but seems a bit... contrary to advice?

I am still following guidance. Just saw a friend's story on Instagram with her parents and brother all hugging her children and now feeling like I am actually the only one still following. Making me feel like I've missed something or being stupid or something. Feeling confused by the whole thing!

I am still following guidance. Just saw a friend's story on Instagram with her parents and brother all hugging her children and now feeling like I am actually the only one still following. Making me feel like I've missed something or being stupid or something. Feeling confused by the whole thing!

People have just had enough is the bottom line. Families can't stay apart like this just on government say so.

We are off to see my parents this afternoon. No chance of sitting in the garden as the weather is bad. As far as my parents are concerned, they are happy for us to be in the house. I've hardly seen them in months, so for us all, enough is enough we will do this.

@Wowthisisreal "What rules are you following where you are needlessly isolating yourself?"

I do get what you mean in terms of certain situations but really you don't know everyone's full story or reasons. We haven't seen any family since January but the reason behind that is because they live a 5 hour drive away so until hotels re-open we can't see them. It's not always "needless".

We are breaking the rules here.... we’ve had a gathering outside of 8 (2 families of 4) a couple of times, we’ve had our parents over and we kissed and hugged briefly and they came inside when it started to rain. We’ve had our haircut by a hairdresser. The children have been to school when my husband was WFH.

From Monday I’ve got to wear a mask in my office and we’ve all agreed we won’t. We’ve been sitting together through this whole thing and the masks are dreadful. We breathe out for a reason!!

When we were in stricter lockdown, we stuck to it other than the children going to school when I was working but my husband was WFH. Since it’s eased we have been making our own decisions, guided by the advice.

@firsttimemumma I get that - but you could see people locally (friends etc). Unless you are 5 hours away from everyone you know there is no reason to not see anyone.

We are sticking as rigidly to the rules as possible. Had to break lockdown a few days recently when our only car broke down at my husband's work 30 miles away. Had to catch a lift down with a mechanic friend one day, my dad another day to wait for the AA who never showed and then I'd to spend time fixing up a car at my mum's so I could tax and insure it to be able to meet another mechanic another day.
To be honest the stress of being close to people was worse then the stress of a broken car we can't afford to replace but desperately need. This lockdown is making me paranoid.

I am at the moment but it's getting harder and harder. I just want to be able to sit and have a cuppa with my mum and dad and be able to give them a hug and allow them to hug their grandson and see my sister. My husband really wants to see his dad but he lives in Wales so different rules again. I'm wondering if now single folks can bubble up and not have to social distance the rest of us might just starting thinking "well if they're allowed to do it why can't we?"

@wowthisisreal
I know. I just made that list to show the extreme measures we went to in response to listening to the government's message (I can see how the list made you think I was explaining the guidance we were following - we just went a bit further with the antibac, trying to be 'safe' 😁 sorry to confuse you with my tangents). We haven't travelled anywhere since the rules were changed...our family all live very far away and would involve an overnight stay and with social distancing still in place, I'm not sure where else would be fun or interesting or relaxing to go for a family of five.

@endless11
I'll find my screenshots for you and post them. In short, though, the bit that got to me the most was the manipulation of our emotions, fears, and behaviours as illustrated in the doc from the behavioural science group.

I'm finding it very difficult to establish permitted contact with people because:
4+ 4= too many
No local family in an area where most people are prioitising their local family members
People worrying about children social distancing.
Many families have kept working from home often with increased workloads and are overstretched on their time and energy.

It's a two-way contract and both parties have to feel comfortable with whats on offer.

I'm happy to compromise on a couple of spare children that have been nowhere in 12 weeks. Their presence adds zero additional risk. Again, while discouraging touching, I'm not going to enforce rigourous, unnatural interractions upon them that have to be relearned in the future (especially for a child with ASD). But the people we would normally meet are being very cagey about this so we don't have people avaliable to meet. None of these people have additional risk factors associated with complications or increased mortality.

I've taken the whole thing very much on a risk assessment/ cost-benefit analysis. I haven't been driving across the country to see family or more scattered friends. The risk goes up with external contacts, proximity and poor ventilation- I haven't been in those situations. The chances of coming across an infected person in the community are decreasing and decreasing.

So now I'm stuck in and lonely because of other peoples' paranoia about a virus with a very low risk of spreading in the community to people with low risk of complications. I'm not wanting wild parties. Just to meet other households to chat and let my children play naturally, but the conversation goes dead and arrangements don't happen. The year groups going back to school have a very low take up because lots of parents have over inflated the risks and it's a standoff where no one is doing it because no one else is, meanwhile my children don't have an opportunity to go back.

Flu (despite vaccines) is an annual ongoing killer that is accepted as an occupational hazard of being vulnerable. We don't indefinitely impose oppressive social restrictions and denial of education onto the population because of it.

So I'm happy to tiptoe around minor low-risk breeches of the rules that make negligable difference to virus transmission, but here I am with life largely unchanged since the rules told me that it was OK to drive to another park. Still fucking isolated because of other people's paranoia.

Here, have your Blue Peter Look I'm A Good Rule Sticker badge.

That's what you're after isn't it OP? Good you and shame on everyone else who's dared not follow everything.

Now are we talking about the "rules", the Scottish version of the rules, the Welsh version of the rules, or the MN imaginary rules here? And which chronological version of the rules are we following? Or the Dominic Cummings Dodgy Barnard Castle Eye Test Rules?

Everything I have done has been a lot more sensible than that idiotic Cummings person.

I'd love those screenshots@Welliesandpyjamas, my mum is having a pretty major breakdown through anxiety and struggling on new medication brought on by all this, I'd like more to show her.

This lockdown is going to have a huge impact on the economy, education and mental health. It is total madness and has gone on for far too long.

@DominaShantotto

Here, have your Blue Peter Look I'm A Good Rule Sticker badge.

That's what you're after isn't it OP? Good you and shame on everyone else who's dared not follow everything.

Now are we talking about the "rules", the Scottish version of the rules, the Welsh version of the rules, or the MN imaginary rules here? And which chronological version of the rules are we following? Or the Dominic Cummings Dodgy Barnard Castle Eye Test Rules?

I’d love a badge but genuinely wondering as it seems like Im alone in fhis

Yep you're the only person in the whole wide world - have a cookie. Congratulations you stuck to some rules.

You're wanting a judge and a bash at other people. DO what's best for YOU - if it's seriously the best thing - that's it's own reward. If it's unquestioning slavish adherence to scientifically dubious rules that even the rule-makers aren't sticking to (eye tests, second homes, quick shag etc) and you're needing validation for questioning them... that's its own answer.

You're not genuinely wondering. And if you were, you've had a fair few people by now telling you you're not.

But as you have shielding members of the family, of course you will be being stricter than others. That's only logical.

The competitive misery stuff has not faded out!

Still following the rules here! I can’t believe how many people are so incapable of using their own brains that they think it’s ok to break the rules because Cummings did. I’m about as far from a Tory as you can get and I hate how this government have handled things, but I care about not putting lives at risk, FFS.

It's distinctly possible that people are using their own brains, to make risk assessments that are different to yours. 🤷‍♀️

Walked in the park today. Most people were distancing, but a few big gatherings. Mostly lots of small kids, but even more teenagers meeting up.

Oh dear BeNiceToYourSister I can’t believe how many people are so incapable of using their own brains that they think it’s ok to break the rules because Cummings did.

It's got nothing to do with Cummings. Some of us can use are own brains and risk assess our own personal circumstances and don't require others to make all the decisions for them.

Here's your medal, well done off you run now.....