To just give up!

[Whatelsecanipossiblydo]

I’ve name changed.

I’ve hit the point of feeling totally overwhelmed/frustrated/sad/angry and need to vent.

I’ve made the mistake of reading too much news, too many teacher bashing threads on here and now a message from a parent has tipped me over the edge.

During lockdown I’ve worked from home to teach. I have literally done the best I can. I have prepared online lessons of English, maths and one foundation subject every day. I have uploaded in various formats, organised paper work for students who can’t do it electronically. I have differentiated each task I have set. I have uploaded video tutorials and me modelling the work. I have marked every single piece of work that hasn’t been self marking. I upload a personal video message to the page to greet the children each morning and once a week I upload a video of me reading a story/poem or piece of non-fiction that I think they’d enjoy. I give them credits for their work and have tried to celebrate even the smallest of achievements that I know are big to some families. Each child in the class has received some sort of recognition for their work. I have called each family to offer support at 3 times now with extra calls to those who requested I called back . I have sent achievement certificates in the post. I give separate work to my SEN students. I have organised class games and competitions for fun.

This morning I got up and went to do some work and found a message from a parent basically saying that she and some of the other parents feel like I’ve really let their children down. She said they feel I have shown favouritism to one of the SEN children by setting personalised work (the only way they could know about this is to have talked to that parent) and not doing it for their children. She also said that I’d taken the lazy option of uploading work rather than zoom lessons (my school as a whole were not doing these). She said that they were upset that some of the marking comments weren’t personalised with their names which means I’ve copied and pasted. She also complained that I didn’t reply to a message she’d left asking for her child’s log in details for an online learning platform when she sent the message just before 5pm and I didn’t reply until after 8pm (I’d stopped working to have food and see to my children and put them to bed). She went on to call me unprofessional, lazy, unaware of the struggles of families and that as a group off parents they feel I should answer for the damage to their children’s education over lockdown.

I have cried. I feel so hurt and upset. I’ve tried to teach what I would teach in school as closely as I could... I literally don’t know what else I could have done.

I feel like giving up. I feel like just uploading some generic planning from a website and letting them get on with it.
I know I don’t do my job for thanks and recognition but I also don’t feel I deserve that. I feel like I’ve wasted my time...and if they weren’t happy then why the hell haven’t they said before now. I’ve spoken to them on the phone... they’ve had a questionnaire sent from school...

I know it won’t be all parents but I don’t know how many parents she’s talking about...
Would I seriously be unreasonable to step back and reduce my provision...or am I just spirting my dummy out...

Good for your head - sounds like mine when dealing with parents. Let him soak it up and deal with it for you whilst you enjoy the rest of your Sunday, if you can (no doubt whilst planning and recording lessons). Some people will never appreciate your effort, but I bet that most of your parents do.

@ohfourfoxache you are right. It has been a bit of emotional rollercoaster. It was so sudden and I don’t feel like I was ready for it to be the last time I taught them face to face. I had a really lovely class this year and I’m genuinely missing them. This parent’s child is actually a very lovely child to have in class.

YANBU. It sounds like you've put in considerable effort.

FWIW constnat zoom classes for primary are in my opinion not the way forward. Younger children need some kind of supervision to get them through the work. Video lessons mean families can work them in at a time to suit.. they can also be replayee if I dont grasp it the first time.

These are very different circumstances from normal and many teachers are putting in so much effort.

I can understand anger being directed schools who seem to be doing nothing or the bare minimum but you seem to have gone well beyond that.

I think you're at the receiving end of pent up anger and frustration about the situation in general and I'm not surprised you are feeling so upset.

Please dont give up I am sure most parents and teachers appreciate your hard work

Op poor you. She sounds mean and perhaps a bit mentally unstable.
I left the teaching profession because I couldn't deal with the parents. This was in a private school. I cried most evenings. Never going back to teaching.

I'm very glad to hear you have your heads backing. Although I'd expect nothing less.

I always, always email head at the end of the year to make sure she knows how well her teachers and staff are doing. We've been very lucky in that we've always had staff who go the extra mile but I think feedback is so important.

Speaking of feedback, I'm going to send some over tomorrow as our lovely teacher (who is back to full time class teaching) spent time over the weekend checking all the kids work, calculating their weekly rewards and also took time to do a lovely blog during her weekend

I know it won’t be all parents but I don’t know how many parents she’s talking about
I bet it's just her. I actually know someone who tries to make out her opinion is a group of parents' opinions when it's really just her opinion.
Sorry only read your first post but could you get the Head to deal with her. Our school has sent out parent surveys so you'd then know if it was only one person pretending it was everyone

Caught up on your other posts now. Sorry you've been upset by her and glad the head is taking over and you feel a bit better

God how awful, poor you! I am sure there are parents who do appreciate what you are doing and they arent all bad mouthing you. Yanbu to give up, but don't give her the satisfaction of doing so.

Sometimes people forget there is a human at the end of an email. I'm outraged on your behalf. You know what, you should ask the Headteacher to publish the message, naming the mum who sent it, and publicly refute it either in the school newsletter or on the website. You have no shame at all in this situation here but that mum should be ashamed of herself, she deserves to be publicly humiliated.

I've just checked DSs marking for the last couple of days of last week. One of his teachers has left such a lovely, kind and in depth comment I nearly cried. Knowing DS struggles he's taken time at some point to properly read his work and give lovely positive feedback.

Good teachers are worth their weight in gold OP. Keep doing what you're doing. I hope your head manages to sort this out for you.

I have only read your comments but I gather most of the responses have been positive. I hope you are feeling OK and that your head teacher has put you at ease.

If you felt it might help YOU.. you could draft a reply and send it to your head but I doubt they would forward it on.

Dear parent,

COVID has been a totally unexpected and unusual situation for us all. During this time, I have followed the guidance from my senior team as to how school work should be shared and have ensured that all students received work relevant to them.

There is a lot we can learn from this situation and we as a school will be reviewing this as time passes to ensure we can provide the best possible education under the circumstances with which we are faced. I had regular updates md reviews with my line management.

I am sorry that you seem to be unduly stressed by the situation and assure you that we endeavour to support all families in the school within the boundaries of our roles as teachers and the restrictions placed upon us by thos situation.

Your child has been a pleasure to teach this year and has responded to the change in school circumstances with maturity and has engaged with and completed the work required of them.

Glad the Head is going to deal with nasty parent from now on. Hope he sorts her out today.

So. The head rang me again this morning having spoken to the mum. Apparently she was unapologetic for the messages. The head reckons it’s a case of her being embarrassed and now digging her heels in.
He told her that what she had done was completely inappropriate and he wouldn’t stand for having his staff harassed. He said he explained that in working online, there needed to be boundaries and he made them clear to her - however, although her child can continue to communicate directly with me, she cannot and must go through him. He said he told her how he’s fully aware of my work and that he could not ask any more of me. He said she is refusing to apologise. However, after the phone call he received a ‘very sincere’ apology from her husband for his wife’s behaviour. He has passed this on. I’m not really sure what I think of that...

I’m happy with how the head has handled it and I’m really hoping it’s the end of this.
Thank you so much again for the support.

She sounds like an utter nightmare.

Good on your Head, and also her husband, for apologising, given that his nightmare of a wife either couldn't or wouldn't.

Hopefully she pulls her head in now.

Could be worse, you could be married to her. . .

I'm so sorry, this is wrong.

You sound like an amazing teacher, going above and beyond, and it makes me so cross when parents treat teachers like this. I'm really glad your Head has got your back on this too, I've worked with some appalling heads and deputies in the past but yours sounds like he knows what he's doing. Hope you're ok, try not to dwell on it (which is what I'd be doing!). Your class are lucky to have you

My God , you have to have the skin of a rhino to survive. Its vile.

Urgh ignore her op. You e done much more than my kids schools have. You sound committed and caring. She doesn't.

Another parent chiming in with support. Lockdown is hard enough without this kind of nonsense.

OP you sound like my children’s teachers - very caring, considerate and concerned about their educational welfare. All the qualities that make a wonderful teacher.

Our school have been working in a similar way to you and I couldn’t be more grateful to them. In fact they’ve probably called less than you have but I’m so grateful for their support. And I’ve already told them of this.

Please don’t be disheartened by one grumpy parent - she sounds awful and I’m so pleased the head has supported you and called her out.

Don’t stop doing what you are doing - it sounds like you’ve done tremendously well in the circumstances and you should be so proud of yourself

Great result OP, your head sounds brilliant. I'm so glad the parent was told her behaviour was inappropriate, because it was! How embarrassing for her that the husband apologised, though I probably would too if I was him - I'd be mortified!

Thanks everyone. I’m feeling much better tonight than I have since this started.