To just give up!

[Whatelsecanipossiblydo]

I’ve name changed.

I’ve hit the point of feeling totally overwhelmed/frustrated/sad/angry and need to vent.

I’ve made the mistake of reading too much news, too many teacher bashing threads on here and now a message from a parent has tipped me over the edge.

During lockdown I’ve worked from home to teach. I have literally done the best I can. I have prepared online lessons of English, maths and one foundation subject every day. I have uploaded in various formats, organised paper work for students who can’t do it electronically. I have differentiated each task I have set. I have uploaded video tutorials and me modelling the work. I have marked every single piece of work that hasn’t been self marking. I upload a personal video message to the page to greet the children each morning and once a week I upload a video of me reading a story/poem or piece of non-fiction that I think they’d enjoy. I give them credits for their work and have tried to celebrate even the smallest of achievements that I know are big to some families. Each child in the class has received some sort of recognition for their work. I have called each family to offer support at 3 times now with extra calls to those who requested I called back . I have sent achievement certificates in the post. I give separate work to my SEN students. I have organised class games and competitions for fun.

This morning I got up and went to do some work and found a message from a parent basically saying that she and some of the other parents feel like I’ve really let their children down. She said they feel I have shown favouritism to one of the SEN children by setting personalised work (the only way they could know about this is to have talked to that parent) and not doing it for their children. She also said that I’d taken the lazy option of uploading work rather than zoom lessons (my school as a whole were not doing these). She said that they were upset that some of the marking comments weren’t personalised with their names which means I’ve copied and pasted. She also complained that I didn’t reply to a message she’d left asking for her child’s log in details for an online learning platform when she sent the message just before 5pm and I didn’t reply until after 8pm (I’d stopped working to have food and see to my children and put them to bed). She went on to call me unprofessional, lazy, unaware of the struggles of families and that as a group off parents they feel I should answer for the damage to their children’s education over lockdown.

I have cried. I feel so hurt and upset. I’ve tried to teach what I would teach in school as closely as I could... I literally don’t know what else I could have done.

I feel like giving up. I feel like just uploading some generic planning from a website and letting them get on with it.
I know I don’t do my job for thanks and recognition but I also don’t feel I deserve that. I feel like I’ve wasted my time...and if they weren’t happy then why the hell haven’t they said before now. I’ve spoken to them on the phone... they’ve had a questionnaire sent from school...

I know it won’t be all parents but I don’t know how many parents she’s talking about...
Would I seriously be unreasonable to step back and reduce my provision...or am I just spirting my dummy out...

"Ok. I assumed any SEN child with such difficulty accessing any of the normal curriculum had an ECHP with a one to one providing a huge amount of extra help."

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland 1:1 support has been massively cut in schools round here for funding reasons so I am not surprised at all that this child doesn't have a 1 to 1.

@Whatelsecanipossiblydo OP you're doing a wonderful job and I'm sure the other parents all think so . I hope your head deals with this nasty woman appropriately.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland
The child does have 1-1 with a TA (not full time) who doesn’t do the planning but supports the planning and resources that I put in place. She does plan and deliver some sessions outside of the class but this isn’t possibly in lockdown. It doesn’t take away from the time given to other students because it’s done in addition to what I do for them.

Also, you’ve made me think. It’s not really that each student has equal rights to my time As such but that they have rights to equal provision and that means that each child should be catered for so that they make progress from their individual startling points. The other children are able to make progress at their own levels without ‘special’ provision from me. They function at a level broadly similar to their peers and so the work is appropriate for them to make progress. The SEN child would not make progress without that provision that is specific to her.
If a child without SEN in a class starts to fall behind then we intervene and support until they get back in track. We equally look at our more able children and ensure that they have something to challenge them. It’s just teaching...that’s what we do.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

OP.

Ok. I assumed any SEN child with such difficulty accessing any of the normal curriculum had an ECHP with a one to one providing a huge amount of extra help. I suppose the practicalities of that become harder in lockdown. Practically speaking if you have to set a whole separate curriculum for one child how on earth do you do that without it disproportionately reducing the time you have available for the other children?

I hope your SMT team can back you and perhaps provide some help with extra resource for SEN.

A child who has a 1-2-1 ta will not have that at home. The parent would be providing the support. A ta does not plan. They help the child with the lesson the teacher supplies. A ta will adapt as they go if needed but they go on what they are asked to do. Many 1-2-1 support staff are in fixed term contracts and in circumstances of sever need they may be brought in from a specialist agency. The support can't be supplied at home, it is very hands on

You sound like you've gone above and beyond to help their children, I would be very happy if you were my child's teacher, shocked they don't feel the same

I’m a teacher and could cry for/with you. This parent is well out of line and the head needs to tell her so! You sound like you’re doing an amazing job.

The treatment of teachers by the media and lots of posters on Mumsnet has made me want to leave teaching. I’ve never felt less supported and valued despite feedback from the parents at my school being overwhelmingly positive about our home learning provision. The overall venom directed at schools and teachers is horrible.

As an aside I’m bemused by the lack of understanding about children with special educational needs in mainstream. Yes such children do take up more than their fair share of the teacher’s time. But without that how are they supposed to be supported to learn?

I bet that two-faced bitch has #bekind and other hypocrisies plastered all over her social media...and that curating said social media is all she spends her time doing.

She's #blessed to be a humungous twat.

With my girls, I've always said to them, that their treatment will not necessarily be equal, because they have different abilities, personalities, wants and needs. However, it will be equitable, in that we will seek to ensure their wants and needs are met to the same extent for both of them, to the best of our abilities.

Surely it's like that with children in a class? Some children who are more able, can be pretty much point and shot, possibly with some extension work to hand, whereas other children need more direct supervision, engagement and input, and then there's those children who really need far more than you can give them, but you do all you can for them, again, to the best of your resources and abilities, while ensuring the other children remain on track?

It must be so hard. I imagine you feel like you give all you can, and it's still not enough. Kids (and some parents) can be piranhas . .

[quote mbosnz]**@BestOption

LOL, could be, we do tend to have a slightly different way with words, don't we?!

(It does have the potential to land me in a bit of a pickle sometimes, I can be a tad, erm, straightforward, at times.)[/quote]
We definitely do!

Yes 'straightforward!'

I'm not a teacher but got called 'rough as hell' by a client this week. There are arseholes in all jobs

Don't let it get to you. X

Please don’t give up ! I work in a school office and quite frankly some of the parents have been vile this week. I think people have just had enough and are lashing out at anyone (teachers, police, eachother etc.). I am not saying it’s right, but that is what I have been telling myself to get through the week.
Forward the email to the Head, pour yourself a stiff drink and cuddle your children.
I see on a day to day basis how hard teachers work and how much they genuinely care about the pupils.
Chin up, you sound like a lovely teacher x

What a cunty piece of shit she is. Find out where she lives and do a sneaky shit in her garden. Then have a massive drink and let the HT reply. Bitch

You sound very much like my DDs teacher who did a fantastic job over the lockdown.

They're now back at school, and I'm so grateful that the same teacher has made everything great for the kids, even through the differences now.

You're making me want to email the headteacher saying a massive thank you to the teacher!

@BigBabyCat please email the head. It would mean the world to that teacher...and the head.

@livefornaps that made me laugh.

Thank you so much for the lovely and funny comments; they’ve really helped to spin my thinking and lighten my mood. That email would probably have spoiled my day otherwise.

Nah, don't let the mardy mare grind you down. . . bollocks to her!

Here, have one of these . On the house!

Ok...so I just went back to check my emails to see if the head had replied to find a second one from this parent.

She’s complaining that I haven’t replied to her last email and is now threatening a formal complaint about me to the head and saying she’s writing a letter to the governors.
She’s saying she’s seen me out during school hours and that I’m a disgrace to the profession.
I’ve forward’s it straight to the head. The second email is so ridiculous that I’m not even bothered any more. It really clearly is her that has a problem.

Yes, I’ve been out during school hours but I have 2 children of my own and a dog. We go for walks. I’ve also been to the supermarket but I’ve always planned my outings carefully to have minimal impact on my class and I schedule my work to go live at 8am with deadlines set for 5pm so I really can’t be expected to be literally glued to the computer the whole time....

I was worried earlier that I’d posted this and she’d read it but now I don’t even care.

@mbosnz thank you. cheers

Is the woman on glue? She's clearly lost the plot. If indeed she ever had it.

You sound like a really great teacher, don't change you just because you've encountered this, you'll be helping the children and other parents. I think so many people are under so much pressure and stress, perhaps you were just a convenient punchbag? Not nice, I know.

Oh dear OP. Has she said she pays your wages yet?! That's my favourite one working in the public sector.

Don't let it get to you. If she had half a brain, she would have just gone online and looked out some resources herself if she wasn't happy with what you're doing.

I hope she does read this thread and then she'll know she is an outrageous cunt.

Excuse my language!

This is WAY above your pay scale to be dealing with.
Pass all of it over to your Head Teacher.
and for you. Xx

Some people are unbelievable. I hope you get the support from the head and governors.

Also, Why would she expect you to be working weekends ? Have you had any issues / concerns about this parent before ?

It sounds as if you are doing a great job, as others have said.

Sending you and support. There will always be someone who isn't happy with what you do. There's not a hope in Hell they'd have managed to be one iota as committed to it as you've been. I hope some of these messages have made you feel better.