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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel like we are just existing now

792 replies

Ghostlyglow · 12/06/2020 07:58

In a miserable, joyless world of queues and masks. A couple of friends have lost their jobs this week. Where are we going with this?When will it end?

OP posts:
ZoBo123 · 12/06/2020 08:27

Plenty of people have lost someone during this pandemic. More from other things than COVID. This is not a life it is existing. Some people want to live a life before they die

sanityisamyth · 12/06/2020 08:27

I felt like that before (without the queues and masks) anyway. Every day is just one step closer to the end. Nothing exciting or nice ever happens.

Notejode · 12/06/2020 08:29

Yes, and it is not only in the UK btw. Some people talk about it like if is only here. We notice is to blame and point fingers. Same people who wanted to call lockdown early and now are really fed up with the whole thing.

Things are improving day by day so not long hopefully.

dotty12345 · 12/06/2020 08:30

I'm a single mum with an 18 year old at home that I probably see for less than 15 minutes a day but because we are considered a 2 adult household I can't see my daughter and grandchildren, I've had no interaction with another adult for 12 weeks apart from essential supermarket trips and I'm absolutely losing the plot!

Alex50 · 12/06/2020 08:32

What would give me something to focus on is a clear plan to get out of this. A plan that brings everyone together instead of dividing people. We all have to wait until there’s a vaccine is ridiculous, the country will have pulled itself apart by then.

paap1975 · 12/06/2020 08:34

I feel so sorry for people in the UK. We're easing restrictions on the continent, yet the UK is still in the thick of it. Schools, shops and even restaurants are open here, and in a few days we'll be allowed to travel to neighbouring countries without restrictions. When I watch the UK news, I'm shocked by how far behind things seem there

Alex50 · 12/06/2020 08:34

Other countries aren’t having protests and riots going on. Statues being pulled down, 1000’s of people gathering, yet schools can’t open.

LuckyMarmiteLover · 12/06/2020 08:35

I’m fed up too but don’t see the alternative to lock down. Without it the nhs would have been completely overwhelmed with 500,000 dead.
Test, track and trace is our best way out of this with localised measures in place to quash breakouts.
The government have made the biggest mess of this by not locking down early enough.

CrowdedHouseinQuarantine · 12/06/2020 08:35

It is hard

Moondust001 · 12/06/2020 08:36

We are choosing to kill people who die from domestic violence, cancer, heart attack, stroke, dementia, dehydration, hunger, despair so that we can protect the people vulnerable to this quite bad cold

No we aren't. I do not subscribe to the viral hysteria, but (a) it is not a "quite bad cold" and (b) we are not choosing to kill anyone to "protect the vulnerable". The governments of the UK have chosen for us to act in certain ways to protect an NHS that they decimated to the point that it could not even do the regular job of health care, so that it could provide healthcare to the many people who contracted the virus. You argue as though it is quite ok to let the elderly, chronically sick and disabled, and anyone else unlucky enough to catch the virus, die a terrible death, and that is justified to save others dying a terrible death. It should never have been a choice between deaths. The only reason it was was because nobody gave a damn about the public sector cuts of the last 20 years, nobody so much as clapped for the services that support and protect all people - and it's already started that nobody cares again now!

The government may have made the choices, good or bad, about how to handle this virus. You made the choices to let them destroy public services for two decades, and you are making those choices again. If the health service wasn't fit for purpose to handle a pandemic - and we knew it wasn't because multiple reports over the last decade have said so - that was something that the public let happen and cared nothing about because it didn't really affect them, and come a pandemic they'd be ok, wouldn't they? People have reaped what they have sown.

theonlywayisapple · 12/06/2020 08:36

@paap1975

I feel so sorry for people in the UK. We're easing restrictions on the continent, yet the UK is still in the thick of it. Schools, shops and even restaurants are open here, and in a few days we'll be allowed to travel to neighbouring countries without restrictions. When I watch the UK news, I'm shocked by how far behind things seem there
Because if we opened everything up, the left wingers would be calling Boris a murderer.
Bollss · 12/06/2020 08:37

@LuckyMarmiteLover

I’m fed up too but don’t see the alternative to lock down. Without it the nhs would have been completely overwhelmed with 500,000 dead. Test, track and trace is our best way out of this with localised measures in place to quash breakouts. The government have made the biggest mess of this by not locking down early enough.
We don't actually know that. The model was massively flawed. This may very well have all been for nothing. And the amount of people we've accidentally killed or will kill by locking down? Thousands.
Nihiloxica · 12/06/2020 08:38

The economy shrunk 20% in April.

Yes, and we knew going into this that if it shrank by 6.4% or more that more people would die from the effects of lockdown than from Covid-19.

So we have chosen these deaths to avoid fewer deaths from the quite bad cold.

Only one thing matters now, and is not living a good life. It is avoiding a virus that more than half the people who get it don't even realise.

Alex50 · 12/06/2020 08:38

What was the point of lockdown when airports and port were wide open, people arrived from all over the world with no tests or tracking in place. Nearly half of deaths were in care homes, they should’ve had more protection. Closing the whole economy was mad, I now can’t see a way out of it without a strong plan that pulls everyone together with a timetable.

emmathedilemma · 12/06/2020 08:39

Oh I'm glad you feel like that too @SockYarn I was wondering if I'd missed something when I looked at the Scotland figures. From what I could tell total death rates are practically back at normal levels, a handful due to Covid and half of all cases are in care homes, yet no one will even consider the prospect of us getting back to anything like normal. I'm done with this, it absolutely is just existing, eat, sleep, work, exercise, repeat.....I cried twice yesterday just from being so damn miserable about it.

Moondust001 · 12/06/2020 08:40

@LuckyMarmiteLover

I’m fed up too but don’t see the alternative to lock down. Without it the nhs would have been completely overwhelmed with 500,000 dead. Test, track and trace is our best way out of this with localised measures in place to quash breakouts. The government have made the biggest mess of this by not locking down early enough.
That figure of half a million was never right. It was a modelling error by Imperial College who forgot to deduct deaths that would have happened anyway (the average death rate) from their projections. Other epidemiologists criticised that and modelled to figures between 30,000 and 50,000. Based on where we are now, they were closer, but Boris had pinned his colours to Imperial College so he rubbished the advice of the many others. Turns out, they were closer.
Pertella · 12/06/2020 08:41

*I wonder if you would feel differently if you had lost someone close during this pandemic.

I have.*

So have I.
Not from covid though. Although covid certainly contributed to their death as they weren't able to get the care and treatment needed.

Because covid is the be all and end all.

YeahWhatevver · 12/06/2020 08:41

The WFH is really shitty too.

I know IABU as I've got a job that's secure (for the moment) but fuck me it's invaded my home space and is this ever present in my life 24/7 now.

Really resent my work for dominating my life and hate that I no longer have a quality of life outside it as an antidote.

Can see it being like this for the most of 2020 though 😫

Pertella · 12/06/2020 08:43

Without it the nhs would have been completely overwhelmed with 500,000 dead

The worldwide death rate is less than that.

Milssofadoesntreallyfit · 12/06/2020 08:44

I disagree op. I also find that there are two types of people on thus thread, those who are finding it shit and hard and others who are focused more on lockdowns desired outcome, potential vaccine and are looking forward to that and then building life back up.
Of course its a bit shit at the moment, but shit does and will happen. It's how you actually decide to deal with it. I'm in the latter camp, I'm looking forward to the vaccine and then working towards getting back on track. In the mean time I'm not dwelling in the shit I can't control it or affect it so I'm enjoying the bits I can and focusing on the end outcome.

DoingMyOwnThing · 12/06/2020 08:45

Indeed the kids have been forgotten, the economy trashed, jobs lost, people will starve, mental health ruined

Most of the deaths are from care homes and over 65 - not all but most

Most people had more likelihood of dying from an accident, cancer, suicide than the virus but there you go

sociallydistained · 12/06/2020 08:45

I want to go for a day out and go to a nice restaurant, visit attractions etc.

I went on furlough at the end of March and went back to work part time June 1st which has improved my mood a great deal as there is some balance there between work and home now!

I spent 10 weeks completely alone without my partner Then we decided to start seeing each other so that changed things for the better for me just recently.

I'm starting to meet friends and broke the rules by entering my best friends home on Wednesday and staying most of the day. But this is one of the only truely joyful days I've had so more of that is gonna have to happen I think. The government has lost us.

DoingMyOwnThing · 12/06/2020 08:46

I think some people are loving it though. The doom and gloom spreaders the handwringers united. They just love the 'wait for the second wave' .... so they can shout murderers at anyone they think did something wrong.

yoikes · 12/06/2020 08:47

These threads make me curious.

There is no doubt this Govt has been pathetic and negligent in their response to covid-19. Too little too late.

If we had locked down earlier and more strictly, tested, tracked and traced effectively then we may have had "only" 8000 deaths as per Germany (pop 83 million).

Sadly the Govt face huge contracts to their mates in business like Deloitte who failed spectacularly to run the drive in test centres. Why not let the - oh I don't know! - local CCGs do it? The people who know how?

I do wonder though...those complaining and opining...how did you vote last December?

Because if you voted tory you voted for more of the same...defunding the nhs and education.

How do you feel about that now?

metronome1 · 12/06/2020 08:47

@ConstantlySeekingHappiness I'm sorry for your loss.
Its awful people have died of course it is but like a pp said it's not the only bad thing happening.
I'm a children's social worker so believe me when I say that this lock down needs to end right now. Im scared for the future. I'm scared for the funding that is going to be cut again when it's already on its knees. I'm scared for our vulnerable people in society. People are losing and will lose their lives as a consequence of this and not from covid 19. Its not that people do not want to care for their own children seriously look at the bigger picture. Il stop there because I could go on and on about this all day.

Your right op it's really existing now. I have had to stop receiving some treatment from hospital and I'm feeling worse and worse by the day, while trying to work and look after my children. I just want to take my toddler to the library or soft play and give her something else to do. I want to look forward to something as a family. I love spending time with my family and children but it does not make this any easier. Definitely groundhog day. Chin up everyone, we can do this.

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