Horse rider and her 'request'

[Harmonyrays]

I need to know if im being unreasonable here in thinking that this lady was being deliberately awkward or something if its else. For contex, we are non white, they were white.

So My children (2 + 6) and I were having a great time exploring the woods when a horse box pulled in and two women unloaded their horses. Kids were naturally excited by this and wanted to get closer to see. I made sure we were a good distance away, at least 10 metres and we were up on the slope. The kids were watching the horses being unloaded for a few minutes. My son had a stick in his hands as he was ramble around and likes to do this. I made sure they were quite. The horses were quickly taken around the other side of the box to saddle up.

After a few minutes we decided to head down to the path and walk around the other side so they could see the horses more cleary and continue our walk. Again they were quite. We found a little bridge that was going the opposite way to where the horses were and my son wanted to explore that so we headed that way. We dissapeared from the womens view for around 5 mins and then i went back to bridge to wait for my son. At this point one of the women, in her 60's, walked over and said 'we are about to take the horses up here (a path that was no where near me and my chldren) can you just move on somewhere else. I said to her im sorry but we are here well away from you and your horses. She then said 'well cant you just move on because the sticks are scaring the horses'. Bear in mind there were no sticks in view at this point at all. As this was the second time she had said 'just move on' with a dismissive hand wave i was getting annoyed and said well were not doing anything to you or the horses. She then said 'well what ARE you doing here'. I said to her 'i dont need to tell you what im doing here, we are in the woods and free to go where we please'. She then looked like she was getting exasperated and huffed saying 'yes i know that but im asking you nicely if you can just move on until we move the horses up the road'.

Given that we were over a bridge and a good 20 metres away from the horses i think it had nothing to do with sticks. I feel she had an entitled attitude and like there was something else bothering her.

The irony is we have been around horses for many years so are aware of how to behave which is exactly why we kept our distance.

If i were alone this wouldnt have bothered me but my son heard and was then saying oh lets just go mum. I feel like she made him feel he shouldnt be there and that upset me.

So i need to know your thoughts, yes i am being unreasonable the lady was right in asking us to move on. No im not being unreasonable and she was out of line telling us to move on.

Thank you

Why mention yours and her skin colour?
Are you being racist op?

Smallsteps I've known a few despotic ones I'm afraid. More egos than Westminster at our yard.

when walkers who have access to 100% choose to wave sticks in the few places we’re allowed to go, you do wonder what they’re up to.

Really? You wonder what they’re up to? Rather than assuming they are just oblivious to the outcome of the wavy stick meets horse experiment?

If your horse is fucking dangerous dont take it near people perhaps?

All large animals have the potential to be dangerous, including horses. Far more horses however are hurt by humans (usually in cars.)
If you are walking on a bridle path you are going to run the risk of contact with horses. Most will be fine, the odd one won't be.
There are many places to walk where horses aren't allowed, they are best used if you don't want to make horse sized accommodations to your walk.

@ConstanceSalinger

Smallsteps I've known a few despotic ones I'm afraid. More egos than Westminster at our yard.

Oh I’m familiar with the type!

my horse hates black people

Oh maybe it was the horse that’s racist.

I’d say that’s because the horse hasn’t been socialised in a diverse enough environment.

I doubt it is anything to do with skin colour. It sounds like they were just trying to make sure things were safe for the children and to ensure their horses were not scared by the sticks leading to a horse killing a child. So in a sense they were being caring.

I can only think that she was nervous of what her horse would do, riders get hyperaware when they take their horse somewhere different and although you were nowhere near her she ‘on the lookout’ for anything that might set off old blackie.
Also, she might struggle to mount and didn’t want an audience

Since you mentioned it...I'm white and I've encountered this entitled attitude too. Really annoying and makes one want to do the exact opposite of what they've 'commanded'. Some people seem to forget that public land is just that. Wish they'd bring in 'right to roam' like Scotland.

Stormzy - what if you are or you aren't?
The OP clearly thought it could be an issue, which it could, and you say you are tired of hearing that things can involve race.
Real Stormzy thinks there is racism.

My Shetland is normally the perfect child's pony but he also has a screw loose somewhere and will shank you in a dark alley given half a chance!

Horses aren't always straightforward

Emmeline

My mare is an ex flat racer, you cannot get more diverse!

@EmmelineGreen

my horse hates black people

Oh maybe it was the horse that’s racist.

I’d say that’s because the horse hasn’t been socialised in a diverse enough environment.

To be fair, that's not always the easiest thing to ensure if you live in the middle of fecking Dartmoor. Can't exactly stick in on the 11.27 to Paddington and get out for a bit of a wander, after all.

when walkers who have access to 100% choose to wave sticks in the few places we’re allowed to go, you do wonder what they’re up to. While I'm out with my dogs and I see someone with two small kids who are carrying sticks I don't think move out of my way children- I am more important than you! I recall my dog, he goes on a lead and we wait till the kids with sticks have moved away or we take a different route - we do not tell the kids with sticks to move - the arrogance is breath taking! If you can't control your horse they are not appropriate to be around humans.

Do you live in a city user1471565182? It sounds a bit as if you do. Your perfect right to do so of course, but if you are a farmer, then the land you have bought and use to grow crops or rear livestock is yours to do with as you see fit. If you walk across a field full of young bullocks who will be going to be made into hamburger meat once they reach the right weight, you are taking your life in your hands to walk through it. Neutered, yes; but not ever safe. Very few big animals are. Their size ALONE means a human is likely to be the loser.

@YinMnBlue firstly look up the term whitesplaning (from your previous post) the irony is unreal!

Yes RACISM is real.. I must have missed where Stormzy weighed on on this particular thread!

As pps have pointed out, you are always going yo wonder, is it because I'm a woman or a poc? There's a real movement going on right now, a real chance for change and posts like this that almost beg for it to be brought in a negative way, I am fed up of...

YABU. She told you the horses were frightened and asked you keep out of the way until the horses has passed by. She asked nicely. I think you were being rude - manners cost nothing.

Really? You wonder what they’re up to? Rather than assuming they are just oblivious to the outcome of the wavy stick meets horse experiment?

There’s been a quite a few instances recently of horses getting hurt by members of the public - usually dog attacks to be fair, rather than sticks - and there has been a pony stabbed in its field this week, so if you are of an anxious disposition like me, you do worry! I would certainly not be rude to anyone but I keep an eye on the surroundings just in case.

I don’t think it had anything to do with whether you are white or not. I think she just had a bee up her bum, an over entitled sense of “these are our woods because we ride our horses here” and probably have done for a long time.

I live in a village with a duck pond. There are 4 houses that overlook the duck pond. The people who live in those houses police that pond like it is in their own garden!! I’ve been sitting on a bench with my two young children watching the ducks and had one of them march over and ask me if I can read because there’s a notice saying Do not feed the ducks. We weren’t feeding them!! They were incredibly rude because apparently they “look after” the village pond.

Didn’t the OP say that the sticks were basically out of view?

My head is in my actual hands at the amount of people asking why OP’s race was mentioned - have you guys been asleep for the past fortnight or are you just skipping past all the stuff re BLM because it’s boring or irrelevant?

The OP is perfectly entitled (and I’d hazard correct) to question if entitled horse woman was probably that bit extra dismissive and cold because they were non white.

@StaffiesAndPonies

Really? You wonder what they’re up to? Rather than assuming they are just oblivious to the outcome of the wavy stick meets horse experiment?

There’s been a quite a few instances recently of horses getting hurt by members of the public - usually dog attacks to be fair, rather than sticks - and there has been a pony stabbed in its field this week, so if you are of an anxious disposition like me, you do worry! I would certainly not be rude to anyone but I keep an eye on the surroundings just in case.

Your previous post had more than a hint of “they’re decidedly dodgy and up to no good because there are other places they can be instead of here” as opposed to “worry”

I don't think move out of my way children - I am more important than you!

It’s because I feel less important that I get worried. However, I am not the rider in the OP and I have never told anyone to move out of my way, nor do I have trouble controlling my horse.

@MitziK

To be fair, that's not always the easiest thing to ensure if you live in the middle of fecking Dartmoor. Can't exactly stick in on the 11.27 to Paddington and get out for a bit of a wander, after all.

Well if your horse can’t function in society as a result then it shouldn’t be on public land should it? Black people are allowed to go into the countryside.

She was incredibly rude

Yes the horse may have been scared of sticks (is a woods the best place to bring a massive animal scared of sticks) in which case you politely ask if they could move off the path and put down the sticks so you can pass safely with your horse. You dont essentially tell them to fuck off.

Its her that bought a potentially dangerous animal to the woods. Its not OPs actions that are dangerous it is the horse. There are going to be other people in the woods, there are going to be children. The onus is therefore on the owner to politely explain the risk, or avoid the child. Not just expect people to behave exactly how you want because you bought an animal that could seriously hurt them. Its so incredibly entitled.

Your previous post had more than a hint of “they’re decidedly dodgy and up to no good because there are other places they can be instead of here” as opposed to “worry”

Oh, OK, I see what you mean, reading it back. Sorry.