Horse rider and her 'request'

[Harmonyrays]

I need to know if im being unreasonable here in thinking that this lady was being deliberately awkward or something if its else. For contex, we are non white, they were white.

So My children (2 + 6) and I were having a great time exploring the woods when a horse box pulled in and two women unloaded their horses. Kids were naturally excited by this and wanted to get closer to see. I made sure we were a good distance away, at least 10 metres and we were up on the slope. The kids were watching the horses being unloaded for a few minutes. My son had a stick in his hands as he was ramble around and likes to do this. I made sure they were quite. The horses were quickly taken around the other side of the box to saddle up.

After a few minutes we decided to head down to the path and walk around the other side so they could see the horses more cleary and continue our walk. Again they were quite. We found a little bridge that was going the opposite way to where the horses were and my son wanted to explore that so we headed that way. We dissapeared from the womens view for around 5 mins and then i went back to bridge to wait for my son. At this point one of the women, in her 60's, walked over and said 'we are about to take the horses up here (a path that was no where near me and my chldren) can you just move on somewhere else. I said to her im sorry but we are here well away from you and your horses. She then said 'well cant you just move on because the sticks are scaring the horses'. Bear in mind there were no sticks in view at this point at all. As this was the second time she had said 'just move on' with a dismissive hand wave i was getting annoyed and said well were not doing anything to you or the horses. She then said 'well what ARE you doing here'. I said to her 'i dont need to tell you what im doing here, we are in the woods and free to go where we please'. She then looked like she was getting exasperated and huffed saying 'yes i know that but im asking you nicely if you can just move on until we move the horses up the road'.

Given that we were over a bridge and a good 20 metres away from the horses i think it had nothing to do with sticks. I feel she had an entitled attitude and like there was something else bothering her.

The irony is we have been around horses for many years so are aware of how to behave which is exactly why we kept our distance.

If i were alone this wouldnt have bothered me but my son heard and was then saying oh lets just go mum. I feel like she made him feel he shouldnt be there and that upset me.

So i need to know your thoughts, yes i am being unreasonable the lady was right in asking us to move on. No im not being unreasonable and she was out of line telling us to move on.

Thank you

@Truthpact

You seem to expect everyone to modify their behaviour but you don't modify yours.

Maybe just don't use a whip at all?Why would you hit an animal you supposedly care about?

She may have had issues with a kid running up with a stick, 20m isn't very far away.

20m/60ft isn't very far away?! Utter nonsense.

I ride and also have small children and go for woodland walks with them - so I can see both sides. I think you were sensible, if you were indeed 20 metres away, and she was a rude.
However, as you know, horses are potentially dangerous if scared. I often have children (and adults) rushing right up to us when we are riding at the beach. And I bet that if they scared my horse and they were trampled they would blame (or worse, sue) me instead of themselves, even though they would be at fault.
So I can understand her nerves, albeit she should have voiced them more politely.

Obviously she’s just a rude lady. But, you didn’t need to add for context that she was white and you aren’t. That implies her simple rudeness was racial when she’s just simply rude and entitled.

Sounds like an entitled knob head!

You were very considerate. She sounds horrendous. Just ignore her.

@Packamack

I'm not sure what her age has to do with it.

Care to elaborate, OP?

Well it's context? a detail to the story? have you a read a book? we usually learn the characters age ....

And OP she sounds like an uppity bitch and clearly thought she was better than you. Well done for standing your ground.

I know what you're inferring and I think you are right. She's an effing racist.

@Tigerlilly17

Obviously she’s just a rude lady. But, you didn’t need to add for context that she was white and you aren’t. That implies her simple rudeness was racial when she’s just simply rude and entitled.

I disagree. Racism doesn't have to be explicit.

@Scotland32

I ride and also have small children and go for woodland walks with them - so I can see both sides. I think you were sensible, if you were indeed 20 metres away, and she was a rude. However, as you know, horses are potentially dangerous if scared. I often have children (and adults) rushing right up to us when we are riding at the beach. And I bet that if they scared my horse and they were trampled they would blame (or worse, sue) me instead of themselves, even though they would be at fault. So I can understand her nerves, albeit she should have voiced them more politely.

She could have explained them. If she had explained them like you have here I'm sure the OP would have moved on. But she sounds like she feels she is above explaining herself.

Idiot. I meet a lot of them when i go on anti hunt meets. They think they are privleged and that everyone should pander to them. If their horses are spooked by sticks then they are a danger on the road and shouldnt be out until properly trained.

I’ve got horses and am a vet so spend a lot of time with other horsey folk. Sadly horsey owners can be complete knobs sometimes. Sorry they were rude

YABU firstly because you mentioned race/colour. It's entirely irrelevant.
She was curt but not rude. There are some idiots about who will deliberately spook horses and you were lurking.
A simple, friendly, "Hi there, do you mind if my kids just watch the horses for a minute?" and not allowing your child to wave a stick about even if you were several meters away, might have gone some way to allaying any fears your lurking my have sparked.
You were being a dick.

Was it definitely public land? Her asking what are you doing here, sounds like it may have been private land, or at least she may have thought that it was.

if they scared my horse and they were trampled they would blame (or worse, sue) me instead of themselves, even though they would be at fault

Wrong. Unless they deliberately antagonised your horse its not their fault. You would be liable to a civil claim. Take some responsibility FFS.

Good lord, the public land thing has been gone over and over

The dismissive hand wave tells me all I need to know. Entitled idiot.

she sounds like she feels she is above explaining herself Yes.

you were lurking so what? Kids are allowed to watch horses.

And bridleways are rights of way for anyone on foot as well as those on four legs.

I had horses when I didn’t live in the city and this behaviour really offends me from this woman .

Kids rarely get to see horses , and I know it’s a privileged activity so I’d always stop and ask if they wanted to say hello to horse if I wasn’t on my youngster who would try and eat a child probably 🤣 even then I’d still be friendly and polite .

Sorry they have left this impression with you

Forgive me if I've missed this, but were you on a public footpath or bridleway? We the woods in fact open to the public? Just because there is no fence, it doesn't mean that there is a right to roam. That may be the reason she asked why you were there. She may not have owned the woods, but she may have had permission to ride across private land. It doesn't give her the right to be rude, but it might explain the question. I live in a very rural area, and we are having a lot of extra visitors during lockdown, who don't seem to realise that you can't just walk whereever you choose.

so if i ask someone to move out of the way im racist

anything else i should know

To the people who keep querying why OP mentioned race:

What fucking rock have you been living under for the last fortnight that you still cannot get it through your thick skulls that a person of colour is very likely to interpret a situation like that as race-related? And probably quite rightly so, as well?

Have you been paying NO ATTENTION WHATSOEVER to the marches, the news, the slogans, the public commentary on what people of colour are telling us about white privilege and their feelings on this? What they are asking of us white folk in terms of being vigilant and actively anti-racist? Are you too arrogant, lazy, stupid or entrenched in your white privilege (if you are indeed white) that you refuse to understand? Or are you just simply racist?

It beggars belief.

so they intpret it as race every single time=that the other persin is racist

Perhaps she didn't like being gawped at and felt that she and her horse weren't there for your entertainment. People have the right to go about their business without it being a spectator sport.

What if someone really is interested in kids and saw you getting your kids out of a car so hung about, circled your kids and changed position to get a better view. Would that be okay with you?

My personal experience is that kids with sticks and horses are not a good mix.

Perhaps it was a very nervous horse and for everyone's safety she politely asked you to move on a bit. Hardly outrageous and I doubt it was colour oriented! Would you rather it freak out and canter towards your children?!

@Scotland32

And I bet that if they scared my horse and they were trampled they would blame (or worse, sue) me instead of themselves, even though they would be at fault

They would be at fault according to whom?