Horse rider and her 'request'

[Harmonyrays]

I need to know if im being unreasonable here in thinking that this lady was being deliberately awkward or something if its else. For contex, we are non white, they were white.

So My children (2 + 6) and I were having a great time exploring the woods when a horse box pulled in and two women unloaded their horses. Kids were naturally excited by this and wanted to get closer to see. I made sure we were a good distance away, at least 10 metres and we were up on the slope. The kids were watching the horses being unloaded for a few minutes. My son had a stick in his hands as he was ramble around and likes to do this. I made sure they were quite. The horses were quickly taken around the other side of the box to saddle up.

After a few minutes we decided to head down to the path and walk around the other side so they could see the horses more cleary and continue our walk. Again they were quite. We found a little bridge that was going the opposite way to where the horses were and my son wanted to explore that so we headed that way. We dissapeared from the womens view for around 5 mins and then i went back to bridge to wait for my son. At this point one of the women, in her 60's, walked over and said 'we are about to take the horses up here (a path that was no where near me and my chldren) can you just move on somewhere else. I said to her im sorry but we are here well away from you and your horses. She then said 'well cant you just move on because the sticks are scaring the horses'. Bear in mind there were no sticks in view at this point at all. As this was the second time she had said 'just move on' with a dismissive hand wave i was getting annoyed and said well were not doing anything to you or the horses. She then said 'well what ARE you doing here'. I said to her 'i dont need to tell you what im doing here, we are in the woods and free to go where we please'. She then looked like she was getting exasperated and huffed saying 'yes i know that but im asking you nicely if you can just move on until we move the horses up the road'.

Given that we were over a bridge and a good 20 metres away from the horses i think it had nothing to do with sticks. I feel she had an entitled attitude and like there was something else bothering her.

The irony is we have been around horses for many years so are aware of how to behave which is exactly why we kept our distance.

If i were alone this wouldnt have bothered me but my son heard and was then saying oh lets just go mum. I feel like she made him feel he shouldnt be there and that upset me.

So i need to know your thoughts, yes i am being unreasonable the lady was right in asking us to move on. No im not being unreasonable and she was out of line telling us to move on.

Thank you

Entitled snob.
They learn young as well.
My Dad was driving up a road near our house. Drove wide and slow to pass some young teenage girl riders considerately (who could have moved off to the woods if bothered). When he looked in his rear view mirror they were giving him the finger. So he stopped his car and asked them what the problem was. Cue tears for being challenged "we don't like cars" why are you on the bloody road then?

To be fair to the horse woman she had moved her horse out of view, so the family moved again so they could see it again.

Yes, this struck me too. Take the hint, OP.

I'd feel uncomfortable with strangers hanging around watching me. Not because I'm rude (or even racist ) but because it's nosy and a bit intrusive.

I haven’t read more than the OP and the top few comments but my first thought was how mean for them to not let your kids watch as something like that is exciting for kids! I have owned horses since my teens and as a kid absolutely loved the chance to see them when out and about! She sounds like a bit of a horrible woman tbh.

I've been around, ridden and owned horses for 30 years. I'm normally not an entitled dickhead. But it wouldn't surprise me if some people thought I was an arsey bitch when I've asked them to stand to side, put their dog on a lead or turn off their motorbike so I can safely pass. At the time I'm more focused on keeping my horse under control than on what tone I'm using. I do try to be polite and smile but it doesn't always come across. Even the most "bomb proof" horse can be spooked by something stupid. My old welsh cob was a gentle and well mannered lady until she came across a puddle that was too big to step over and would throw tantrums that could put my 6 year old to shame.
Maybe the rider didn't realise how rude she sounded or she could just be a rude person in general and the situation just made her even ruder.

To be fair to the horse woman she had moved her horse out of view, so the family moved again so they could see it again.

Yes, this struck me too. Take the hint, OP.

I'd feel uncomfortable with strangers hanging around watching me. Not because I'm rude (or even racist hmm ) but because it's nosy and a bit intrusive.

Yes but where horses are concerned, the only reason that someone would object is because they're a rude stuck up snob, and a racist now too. If it were a dog or motorbike then it'd be ok for them to not want to be watched.

Horses are deemed by some to be public property, hence why a lot have been sick/died during lockdown because they've been fed all sorts of shite by people who neither know nor care that what they're doing is detrimental to the animal, and respond aggressively to anyone who asks them not to.

Did you ignore the repeatedly stated fact this was in a public place, xingming?

I dont care what your animal is, dog, horse, crocodile. If its dangerous keep it away from public places, doesnt make the slightest difference if you're rich enough to own a horse to me.

If its dangerous keep it away from public places

Horses aren't dangerous, but they have the capacity to be - that's why you take precautions (like asking randomly staring/stick waving families to please move along).

Same as cars aren't dangerous per se but have the capacity to be, in an entirely different way, and so you take different appropriate precautions when driving them.

What does the race and age of all involved have to do with anything? Are you looking for an issue that’s not there?

She was a bit rude but maybe the horses are nervous - could be on rehabilitation after an accident or something. No one died. Get over it.

@Mitzik We get it. You don't understand racism and want to share your bigotry on a public forum. You've been heard loud and clear.

Old AND white? The nerve of her!

AND driving her horses to the public place to exercise them.

How very dare they.

YABU because horses are spooked easily especially if they see things waved around. They could bolt. And put everyone in danger.

I’ve been walking my dog out in the countryside near some paddocks. Some of the people are friendly, others are just rude. It’s been an eye opener to see how people behave. This woman sounds rude & well done for standing up to her.

[quote sadandlonely2020]@Mitzik We get it. You don't understand racism and want to share your bigotry on a public forum. You've been heard loud and clear.

[/quote]
I think you might need to get your ears cleaned out, then.

I'm talking about the animal. The animal's feelings and its safety are more important than human social inequality and oppression to the horse. It is absolutely irrelevant what ethnicity a person is if they are potentially causing distress to an animal, it is what they are doing that is the problem, not some shit about supposed superiority (based largely upon who had better weaponry and a desire to use it for profit at the time) that should have been consigned to the history books a thousand years ago. Just as any PoC who is responsible for an animal would be concerned about the welfare of that animal above all else if there were to be somebody potentially causing their animal distress and the risk that posed to the animal and anybody else within the area.

I'm glad you stood up to her. She may have felt a bit self conscious but doesn't have a right to ask you to move! CF! (I'd have been so shocked by the confrontation I'd have probably apologised and moved on then regretted it!)

You have to laugh at racists Mumsnet telling a woman of colour that the colour of her skin isn't relevant.

and grabbing the opportunity to mention their own ponies while they’re at it.

So much horsey stealth boasting 🤮

@LisaSimpsonsbff I didn't say they were the same bloody thing so stop trying to start an argument. I listed two potential things that could happen.
Horse insurance should cover you for

.. posted too soon

Should cover you for public liability. Even my cat insurance states I am insured if she harms anyone.

@eckhart what gives anyone the right to ask someone to move on, on public land, what utter rubbish!! Let's see how you like it when your out and about and have the public people telling you to move on, see how you like it.

Sorry op you went through this. The lady was clearly so rude!! And acting entitled, good on you for standing your ground

You were there first in a public place. If her horses were nervous she should have gone somewhere else.

This woman was acting as though she entitled to a public place and was out of line telling you to move on. Next time if that happens tell the stupid bitch to move on herself. Some people really are idiots.

Hang on a minute I'm confused by some of the other posters reactions... if OP was far away and going in the opposite direction stood on a bridge nowhere near where there were going to be then they are being damn well rude and know it and of course it's relevant about being non white. Like some previous posters have said...it's easy to dismiss this feeling when you are white. Harsh but true...it's ridiculous this entitled/privilege crap is still going on!

Good on you for standing your ground...we have a long way to go before we eradicate these types of attitudes but hopefully people will educate themselves and others on treating each other like human beings.

If you have been around horses you will know that they can be unpredictable. She knows her horse and would know how it might react.
How would you feel if some harm had come to anybody?

She sounds like a bossy cow, well done keeping your cool OP

I, sadly, don’t have a horse. However, I do have a very large fluffy dog the size of a Shetland pony.

I completely understand that she garners attention when out on a walk - but! She’s not keen on people hanging round and staring at her, plus people often seem to have the view that “big dog, bomb proof, ok to dive in”. Am obviously not saying that the OP “dove in” at all, but my dog would probably have been anxious with people hanging around and kids with sticks. It’s not that she would hurt them, it’s that she’s nervous.

I would not have been as rude as the lady on the horse - there are better ways of wording things. But equally I’ve got a little bit tired of constantly asking parents to NOT let their kids just barrel up to my dog - not because she’d hurt them, but because she doesn’t like it.

Everyone deserves to be allowed to walk in public places, and equally every animal owner needs to ensure the safety of their animal and other people around them. So please don’t assume that everyone is a knob - just that a minority might be.

WRT horses in particular - I’m just always careful if I’m on a route marked as bridleway rather than public footpath, as in that case the horses take priority in my eyes.

OP - sounds like your kids love horses. I remember as a kid being so fascinated by them (it’s a very long time ago!). Is there anywhere nearby (livery yard, riding school etc) where you’d maybe be able to look into taking them to see the horses close up. My favourite thing as a kid was going to see my Nan in suburbia - not far from her place was a field with horses that I’d make her take us to on a walk. We never fed them, but just stroking them over the gate was a highlight of my visit! Kids loving animals is a lovely thing to encourage, so hopefully this encounter doesn’t ruin things for them.

Also I don’t see how this has got anything to do with the colour of anyone’s skin, she was worried about her horses. Have we now got to a stage where anything said to a non white person is racist?

@Pixxie7 No we haven't 🙄 and I hope it never becomes that way or nothing will ever change in especially in the UK...for god's sake open your eyes and if really necessary have open and honest conversations with a person of colour about white privilege then come back to this post. The recent events in America might be a good starting point as to why your comment is quite frankly irrelevant!