AIBU to think now is not the time for this...??

[BathshebaKnickerStickers]

DH has always been a massive fan of a fad diet..! At the moment he has a hernia that is stopping him from running, so he has put some weight on. So he has decided he is going to go on a super strict lo/no carb diet...

We are a family of 5 - DD16, DD13, DD10, 3 being homeschooled, us both working from home...AIBU to think now is just not the time for this..!

He has set up his own Tesco order just for his food (all seems to be meat and salad) and we haven't to use that....

My DD13 has ARFID so needs separate meals because she won't eat what we eat. DD10 hates this and has tantrums because she wants the simple stuff that DD13 has. I've had gastric surgery and I don't eat much so I generally make something for 2 people (DH and DD16 - lots of 2 portion chicken dishes from Asda type things) and have a little myself.

I've been making soup and sod bread for lunches - with him not eating that there is no point for just me.

If he is making his own food it really screws with recipes and amounts etc for me to make something essentially for DD16 and me - so about a person and a third worth...

He says it going to be no hassle as he'll do his own ordering and cooking but I just feel that with everything else going on its just NOT WHAT I NEED right now...!!!!

And its a fad and he'll just moan all the time as that's what he normally does...!

IABU - He is going to cook and order his own stuff, how is that really a problem
IANBU - Its just too much to throw into the melting pot right now.

The point is he needs to take on more of the responsibility. He can make food for himself and the younger kids, you sort something out for you and your older daughter. Much fairer that way.

I’m just thinking of the dishes !

Can't he do all the cooking for the kids too?

Also, I love the idea of "sod bread" - do you have a recipe?

Sorry I don't know what ARFID is but can the other DC just have what that DC is having too if they want it?

I have ARFID too...

(Avoidance and restrictive food intake disorder)

I wouldn’t be impressed by him doing another fad diet, but let him crack on. As long as he orders, cooks and cleans up after himself

I don’t think it’s really fair that you’re saying he can’t eat a restricted diet but you’re on a restricted diet yourself.

sod bread for lunches

I’m liking sod bread. Made out of turf? Make your husband eat that...!

Cool username, btw.

You know what is ridiculous about this? It's extremely easy to incorporate a low carb diet into feeding a family. So there is absolutely no reason for him to be so precious.

I regularly eat low carb, even going low carb high fat when I want to lose weight. I rarely ever cook separate meals for the family. We eat the same things, I just don't eat the carb component.

Why is there any fuss? If anything, it's an opportunity for him to take over all the cooking.

Sitting eating sod bread in my sod house . .

I don't think making a 'person and a third worth' of meals is a good enough reason to stop him from dieting.

Can you not freeze any leftovers?

YABU. It’s not effecting you, he’s shopping and cooking for himself. As long as he cleans up after himself and he’s not taking over the kitchen then let him work away. If it’s a fad it won’t last long anyway.

I’m married to an Irishman who started lockdown making his granny’s recipe soda bread every day. And we’d all sit together and eat a hearty healthy lunch made with love. We’d all laugh and joke.

Today for lunch I ate 3 mini packets of Haribo while hiding out in the cellar alone.

I’d say let the bloke eat what he likes. Would your girls each make a meal for everyone?

YANBU he's being selfish and needs to understand that cooking and ordering food for one person isn't sufficient when you have a family to feed. He can cook for everyone and adapt the recipes to ensure he has low/no carbs whilst also being capable of cooking a healthy meal for his DC because he is in fact an adult.

You both work, yet you’re going on about all the cooking you do and how this will impact your cooking. Why’s all the cooking with you anyway?

Leave him to it. Why’s it such a big deal cooking soup and sod bread for one less person? They’re both “make for however many and use as and when” things anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️

If you want to complain that he’s a diet bore then YANBU. But as to the rest... stop policing what he eats, and stop doing all the cooking.

To be fair, this does read a little bit like "I don't want him to fuss about food because it interferes with me and dc fussing about food". He needs to pull his weight though, it's not on for him to just cook for himself while you sort everyone else out.

What is going on with your “person and a third” portions if it’s just you and one daughter?

• why are you eating a third?
• why isn’t your youngest daughter eating some of that?

Oh bathsheba you’ve led each other a Merry dance.

I too look back on weeks 1-3 - lovingly set table, carefully made complex dishes, some experimenting, chatting and laughing, helping each other feel better.
Now since my saying is just had enough it rather different. For a start 11 weeks of convo for every single bloody meal is just a bit challenging. Partic when we know exactly what each other has done all day and some of it has been downright annoying to the other etc etc etc.

He's well within his rights to eat whatever he wants to, but he should be sharing the burden of preparing food for the children as well.

Honestly, everyone else in the family seems at least, if not more fussy/faddy about food than he is. And at least he's buying and cooking his own!

As an aside, it occurs to me that whilst 1 and a third portions is an odd amount to cook, if you cook for 4 persons, then you have exactly 3 lots of 1 and a third portions. 4 persons is by far the easiest number to cook for in respect of pack sizes etc. So I'd be cooking 4 person meals, and freezing two extra days worth of one and a third each time. Then lots of days where you only need to heat up something previous made :)

@soub sorry to pry but how do you get this diagnosesd
My oldest 16 has real food issues and I've never got anyone to take us seriously , he won't even touch someone else's plate if it has sown thing on he doesn't eat , which is usually always as doesn't like much
OP I would say for it to be fair you either take turns to cook or he cooks for him and one or two kids and you do yourself and other children or older dd

I'd rather my partner was fussy about food than fat.

I would find that fairly exasperating and self-absorbed.... can't he just have low carb versions of the meals you and the DC are eating? I don't really see why its necessary to have an entirely separate food budget.

But if he cracks on and sorts himself out and as long as he's prepared to help with the DCs food you should let him get on with it. No way would I tolerate having to prepare a whole separate meal and do two sets of shopping or washing up.

[quote strugglingwithdeciding]@soub sorry to pry but how do you get this diagnosesd
My oldest 16 has real food issues and I've never got anyone to take us seriously , he won't even touch someone else's plate if it has sown thing on he doesn't eat , which is usually always as doesn't like much
OP I would say for it to be fair you either take turns to cook or he cooks for him and one or two kids and you do yourself and other children or older dd[/quote]
It’s a pain in the arse

Doctor referred me to a dietician who confirmed I wasn’t anorexic or bulimic.

Then I ended up going back to the doctor who sent me to another food specialist before they finally stated it was a food disorder

Took just over a year in total