People who completely miss the point ...

[MadameBee]

ARGH..

I have to have a teeny rant here as I cannot say anything in RL because in this instance it would be insensitive.

Friend (she is white which is relevant) on FB has “updated” her profile picture on FB with a photo of herself and her baby who very sadly died shortly after his birth, with the overlay “all lives matter”.

This isn’t what this is about 😤😤

Thanks 👍🏻

God, that’s really insensitive. Terrible for her to have lost a baby, but what a selfish way to make something all about her. I would cut some slack because she must be grieving, but I would find that pretty offensive too.

Give her some slack, she’s in immense pain and wants acknowledgment. Too many emotions to start to unpick but you are allowed to be selfish when dealing with that kind of loss. Ultimately yanbu but just let it go.

Wow, you’re no friend.

I honestly think this should just be ignored on the ‘tone deaf’ side.
She’s clearly and understandably been triggered and posted in grief.
I wouldn’t ignore that she may need a bit of support right now.

It's still insensitive of you to bitch about her and her dead child on MN you know.

Give her a break she must be in tremendous pain. It’s just an expression of her grief. She is not deliberately undermining BLM with racist intent she is just is just trying to deal with the most awful thing that has ever happened to her.

The child died 15 years ago.

Not that I am trying to detract from her grief.

I am venting on an annoymous forum rather than commenting on the photo of her and her dead child.

Why on earth would you enable voting on this? Why do you seek validation from the internet on this matter?

Will have to echo pp. how incredible tone deaf of you to have to "rant" about such a tragic situation on mm. Maybe you need to keep a check on the finger-wagging-self-righteous attitude. Surely that's the real lesson from BLM movement?
Being a decent human is far beyond just racial equality.

Wow - it really doesn't matter how long ago HER CHILD DIED!

Keep out of it

I didn’t mean to enable voting.

Am I not allowed to think that while it’s tragic and horrible that her child died it’s also nothing to do with the BLM movement and the The All Lives Matter comments.

Can I not feel both? And rather than say anything which would cause further hurt to her, I have put my comments here where there won’t hurt her.

'Not that i'm trying to detract from her grief' but ..it was 15 years ago.

And? That really does imply you think she should be over it by now?

And WTF are you 'venting' about? That she missed the point of the BLM movement? Okay. And that's annoyed you so much you want to ignore the fact she was posting a picture of her dead child and want to post bitchy comments about her on the internet hoping others will do the same?

Nice.

Blimey if you can't make allowances there for a friend when can you?

Aren't these overlays applied to profile pics to show support without a connection to the picture anyway?

It's quite amusing that you've posted this about other people "missing the point".

Maybe she is feeling sensitive right now it's a bit intense for everyone right now and if you were her friend you would support her not condem her

Maybe you need to keep a check on the finger-wagging-self-righteous attitude. Surely that's the real lesson from BLM movement?

Er, no. The real lesson from the BLM movement is that black lives matter just as much as white lives and that state sanctioned brutality towards white people has to stop.

Please don’t water it down into some trite sound byte about not being self-righteous.

Who are you to judge ?
It could be the anniversary of his death
Be a friend to her

*towards black people FFS

I mean of course you shouldn't say anything but yanbu to find this unreasonable.

On a side note I find it very upsetting to see people post pictures like this on social media. Someone I know lost a baby in the late stages of pregnancy recently and she put up a lot of graphic photos online. I just wasn't expecting to see it and found it very distressing. I couldn't get it out of my head for days. Of course I understand that people deal with grief in different ways but you never know who else might be triggered by something like that.

I've gone off the point here but I do agree with what you said op.

My child died 10 years ago, doesn't make it less relevant, slavery was hundreds of years ago doesn't make it less relevant.

HTH

YANBU. People don't get a pass for racism because their child died 15 years ago.

Well, you’re going to get a kicking on here, OP. FWIW I agree with you, there was no need for her to do this. As you realise, you mustn’t comment. No doubt she is still grieving and maybe she feels this helps her. Just let it go.

It’s not the anniversary as she posts every year about that, fair enough.

I just feel that she has missed the BLM point and no one can challenge her on that because she has put the photo of herself and her child who died (the child isn’t dead in the photo).

Aren't these overlays applied to profile pics to show support without a connection to the picture anyway?

The point is that "All Lives Matter" is the OPPOSITE of showing support for the BLM movement. It's the racial equivalent of "but what about the men?" in a discussion about women's rights.

OP, i agree with you Wholeheartedly. It would be insensitive to comment and grief (particularly of this nature) can excuse and explain a lot of bad behaviour, but regardless, the All Lives Matter thing is poison.

Yes her baby’s life mattered very very much, but that isn’t what BLM is about.