To freak out about lubricant

[Anxietyandme]

Husband and I are TTC. In the moment we stupidly reached for lubricant. I am pretty sure I am pregnant now (too early to test) and am freaking out as the lubricant contains parabens. I have spent the last three days reading scientific papers and have convinced myself it has caused DNA damage, and will either cause miscarriage or my baby will suffer from a genetic condition, or be at higher risk of autism or even childhood cancer. I have lost sleep, and am now really hoping I am not pregnant as I don't think I could go through with it. I am seeking help for anxiety, but would love some thoughts in the meantime.

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I think you are worrying too much.
If you are pregnant your baby will be fine.
Stop reading scientific papers, they're for scientists.

You’re fine - cervix sealed shut. Nothing getting up there.

Seeking help for your anxiety is the absolute priority here.

This never even occurred to me. You shouldn't be experiencing that level of anxiety, please speak to your GP, especially if you are pregnant as you will find both pregnancy and parenthood difficult with that level of anxiety. (If that reads harshly, it's not meant to, I do mean it kindly. )

@chazP I saw that but we used it at the time of conception, so my partner's sperm would have been directly in contact with it :(

Deep breaths, OP. You have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Even if you are pregnant, your unborn baby will simply not be affected by lubricant used before they were actually conceived. There is no chance of that happening. Many, many couples use lube when ttc - it’s very normal.

I would accelerate your efforts to seek help for your anxiety. Pregnancy can be an anxious time and there will be many things you might potentially worry about. If this is the level of worry you feel over a risk which is essentially non-existent, you might find it very difficult to deal with other aspects of pregnancy.

Lots can be done to help pregnant women who struggle with anxiety (I am one of them!) so I would speak to your GP and try to get this under control as soon as you can.

It's fine. If you're ttc though make sure you're using a sperm friendly lubricant like pre-seed or conceive plus. A lot of lubricants make it harder to conceive.

How are you pretty sure you’re pregnant if it’s too early to test?

You need to calm down OP.

Calm down this anxiety is too much for something so minor. PP is right maybe seek some help for this anxiety.

Agree about seeking help. I found pregnancy a very anxious time and it sounds like you would too.

You have nothing to worry about - yiu and any baby you may have conceived will be absolutely fine - but as you are very worried, you should seek help for your anxiety now. Therapy may be really important for you, as the number of things that you might eat or touch or do that will make you anxious while pregnant or breastfeeding - honestly it's a minefield. Then there's parenting itself, which is very stressful at times.

I feel like I have ruined everything. It definitely says parabens are linked with developmental issues. I feel like I have been so careless and stupid.

I think the OP is worried the sperm that fertalises her egg will have lubricant on it? Which may cause her baby to have additional needs or develop childhood cancer? Sorry if that's not what you meant but I think either way it's not worth worrying about! If there was even a small chance lubricant could harm a potential pregnancy they wouldn't sell it, or would at least warn of the danger.

It will be fine, but I do think that your anxiety needs addressing.

chazP I saw that but we used it at the time of conception, so my partner's sperm would have been directly in contact with it :(

You've no idea if you have conceived though. It's more likely you haven't conceived actually.
This is your anxiety talking op. Honestly it will be fine.

Thank you for your responses. I already have one DC, and pregnancy the first time was a breeze. I was very level headed then, anxiety only appeared in the last few months. I didn't realise another potential pregnancy would spiral it so out of control, and I wondering starting to wonder if we are making a mistake. I think I am so much more anxious this time as any issue wouldn't just affect me, but also my DD's life.

You have to realise OP you could do absolutely everything right and make no 'mistakes' and still have an additional needs child, or your child go on to develop an illness etc. And it wouldn't be anyone's fault. It's just one of those things and really not worth panicking over when you aren't even pregnant yet. You will end up stressing yourself out completely 💐

If lube was dangerous for ttc it would be written very clearly on the box. Relax!

If you are this worried about this, you are not in the right headspace to have a pregnancy in a global pandemic. Hold off for a bit and work on your mental health

Well it does say on the packaging that it "can slow sperm down, talk to your doctor before use if trying to conceive". I wonder if "talk to your doctor" is their way of covering their backs :(

If you're not pregnant, i'd think about holding off on TTC until your anxiety is treated appropriately.

You need to see your Gp about your anxiety. It’s not normal to spiral like this.

@slothsarecreepy, yes that's the conclusion I came to last night when I couldn't sleep. I can't risk feeling like this for months.

Lube can interfere with ttc because it sometimes contains spermicide or ingredients which negatively affect the ability of the sperm to move around. That just means you’re less likely to conceive, not that they will cause harm to the baby if you do conceive.

Thanks @zscaler for explaining and putting my mind at ease. It's just when I read the ingredients and saw the parabens that I freaked out, as I think nowadays most of them are paraben-free. For some reason ours isn't and I am kicking myself that I didn't check :(