To think this is very cheeky - re home schooling

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

My DB and SIL have had SIL's mum (lets call her Jean) living with them since April so that they could WFH whiles she looks after their 4yo and 6yo, as they're both in high pressure roles. Jean is 69 and has been retired from nursing for about 5 years and watched the kids 3 days a week before they began school.

However it seems it's all gone tits up today, SIL's mum has packed her bags and gone home after a disagreement with DB and SIL.
Apparently they aren't happy that she hasn't really been doing the home schooling stuff, despite forwarding her the teacher's emails every day. SIL said she would "sit on her phone in the living room while the kids watched TV."

They spoke to her today and said that it's very important the kids get their home work done and she needs to do the work with them. Long story short - Jean stropped off and went home. Now they're in a huge panic about it (the reason I know all this is that SIL rang and asked if I could spare a few days to look after the kids while they find a new solution, as I am furloughed).

AIBU to side with Jean on this one?
The poor woman worked her whole life, lost her husband in her 50's, when she did retire she went straight to doing childcare for free 3 days a week, went from retired solitude to suddenly living in a busy house with 2 energetic kids as a favour. They are 4 and 6, it's not like doing their GCSE's, DB and SIL seem to think that not doing cutting and sticking tasks assigned by the school will doom them to a life of stupidity. And, to me, when you ask such a huge favour you don't get to be picky about the details. If she wants to sit on her phone all day, as long as the children are distracted from bothering mummy and daddy then whats the problem?!

I said no to the childcare BTW. I have 2 of my own to look after and I can barely be bothered home schooling my 2 (it's also against the rulez innit)

Team Jean here. They’re cheeky buggers.

@Purpleartichoke bear in mind that this temporary crisis schooling is actually very different from proper home education.

Doing a couple of worksheets sent home from a teacher is fine. But no reason the parents could do that, they don’t work 24/7. Plenty of time to do their work that’s been sent home at weekends of whatever their days off are.

Glad you said no op.

Yes 100% with Jean, if they didn't like her level of teaching they could fit it around working, as many other people are having to do.

Had the same convo with a friend of mine last week. She had her Granma ! Looking after her three children while she worked and had an argument over granma not cooking her dinner. Granma after 7 weeks of free daily childcare saw red and walked out. My friend asked me to could I help out. I have 6 DC and one is only a couple of months old. You can guess my answer.
Team Jean all the way.

Cheeky wankers.

Good on Jean.

Homeschooling a 4 and 6 year old is full on. They don't do much without adult supervision. Cutting/pasting/writing/activities ....all day every day? Far too much to expect of a grandparent volunteering. It is not the same as putting lunch/tea in front of them, a bit of technology and a walk in the park. Lets be honest here, the parents, safe in a different room doing their jobs from home are having a far easier time than homeschooling 2 kids of that age all day every day.
I agree with a pp who said that the school has probably contacted the parents about how little the kids are doing and are now blaming poor old Jean. They are embarrassed and are expecting her to do more. Plenty parents on these threads are having to do their work hours around the kids, continuing into the evening when the kids are in bed, or if that's not possible, doing their work while semi supervising school work. Not fun as they will now find out. Jean's family didn't know they were born when they had her assistance to child care the kids while they work. Kids of that age don't just sit there getting on with it without constant encouragement. They also need exercise and fun. It's going to be fun for the parents finding this all out. They need flowers, chocs, wine and gratitude for Jean pdq or failing that get on with it themselves.

*no reason parents couldn’t!

@1Morewineplease

SIL’s mum should not be homeschooling your brother’s children. She generously provided care for them while your brother and his wife carried on working full time, albeit from home.

It’s your brother’ and his wife’s duty to ensure that their children attend to their schooling. They have been very cheeky in assuming that this lovely lady should take over their responsibilities.

Maths, English and science has moved on in leaps and bounds since their ‘mum’ went to school. Maths in particular.

Your brother and his wife have taken advantage. They need to create a timetable between them to accommodate their children’s learning.

Team Jean, but 69 year olds are capable of learning, you know. In fact, many older people have better maths skills than their (adult) children.

Twenty odd years ago a woman I worked with came into work all flustered and upset.

She had just had "words" with her lovely child minder that was near the office and by all accounts a very kind woman.

Anyway, she had had a parent teacher meeting and had been told that her only childs reading needed working on.

The childminder looked after 5 children and was inexpensive.

Anyway, in her wisdom she felt it a good idea to take the childminder to task for not doing enough reading.

She herself didn't do any reading, somehow felt it was the child minders responsibility.

Childminder her told her she was very sorry that she wasn't happy with her service and that she would work out the week, finishing on the friday.

Colleague was distraught.

Other colleagues with children told her she was very silly and should beg the lovely CM to reconsider.

CM wouldn't reconsider and colleague was so inconvenienced by her arrogance and disrespect.

The cheek of her to think that 2 pounds an hour got her child tutor as well as everything else.🙄

Working parents I know with DC this age do the reading/writing part of home schooling before or after work while their kids watch TV all day.

These children were fed and safe. They were probably getting their daily exercise. Jean was probably doing the ironing too.

I hope Jean gets a nice rest now.

#TeamJean

Team Jean here too. Parents capable of doing school work at the weekends or at least discussing expectations properly with Jean before it got to this stage. I wouldn't want my kids in front of the tv all day either but I'm sure Jean did a bit more than that.

Yup, Team Jean all the way. And good on you too OP

I find this so weird. Has Jean been ignoring the emails? Why have the parents never asked jean how it's going? Why do they never talk to their kids about their school work?

My kids are admittedly older but I'm doing the homeschooling stuff whilst dh works from home 4/5 days a week. He knows bits and pieces of what they've done eg written a story / shown artwork / french they've learnt or whatever.

Sounds like they've bigger problems tbh and they need to get their head out their arse.

I wholeheartedly agree that Jean shouldn't have to be homeschooling the children. However, after agreeing to move in with the primary intent of caring for the children and then sticking them in front of the TV while she looks at her phone is laziness, sorry. It's not hard to sit them down with some crayons or read them a story, unless they're total little shitbags.

I find homeschooling really stressful. It must be a nightmare with a 4 and 6 year old. Poor Jean! I'm glad she's got her life back.

It's definitely not something they've just noticed. DB messages me about a month ago asking how much school work my DC (similar ages) do as Jean hasn't been doing it with them and he's worried they'll be behind. I replied that as long as they're doing a bit of reading then the rest you can learn through play!

I know that Jean has been taking them for walks and bikes rides in the local nature reserve and they've spent will days sometimes at her allotment. Both activities can be very educational IME.

So, who will be looking after the DC tomorrow?

And had the school not been in touch to ask where the "homework" the DC were meant to hand was? I thought schools were meant to be in regular contact.

Reading between the lines, the dropped hints went unnoticed for a while and they didn't want to say anything to be impolite but then decided the time had come to raise the subject.

Op, how did you respond to the request for you to have the kids? I'd be saying 'it's obviously very important the children do all their home learning, I don't want that responsibility, thanks'

I just said so sorry I'm busy enough with my 2 and could be going back to work (in a WFH capacity) myself any day now.

What's also annoying is that their kids are in Y1 and pre school and their school offered to take them both back on 1st June and they said no!

Sounds like the expectations they have of her are the expectations you'd have of someone you were paying! They should be grateful for all the free childcare she's given them.

I’m always amazed when people fail to acknowledge what a massive privilege it is having grandparents who are willing and able to provide regular free childcare. It’s up there with being gifted a house deposit, and yet so many seem to take it for granted.

I’m also surprised that the parents have apparently only just twigged that the schoolwork isn’t being done. DH is working from 9 - 6.30 every day while I homeschool and look after the kids, but he still manages to take an interest in what they’ve done every day.

I'm with Jean on this one.

When we're lucky enough to be able to have GPs round again, they can stuff my son with chocolate and crisps and watch as much age inappropriate TV as they like, I'm out of the house for some peace and quiet!

Though I also think we should realise that we're driving many parents (mostly woman, though some men have stepped up too) to a nervous breakdown by insisting they do a 'double-double shift' (childcare-homeschool-housework-paid work-more childcare-more paid work). Some are barely sleeping. I wasn't, until my son returned to his daycare. Feel so sorry for those with school age children told they have to essentially work two jobs till September (and maybe even longer).

They're being ridiculous on the home ed, though, for children that age. I would just have told the teacher to stop harassing me. And, in their position, been very grateful for the childcare.

I’m not going to lie, I secretly hope your SIL starts a thread on here asking if Jean and you are unreasonable!!

Cannot believe the cheek, and also just for this to happen now after all these weeks surely they knew not much was happening so could of helped out more

Very cheeky, glad you didnt fall for it, they might expect a lot from you. They need to realise Jean is doing them a big favour, i don't even have anyone to look after mine let alone homeschooling.