To think this is very cheeky - re home schooling

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

My DB and SIL have had SIL's mum (lets call her Jean) living with them since April so that they could WFH whiles she looks after their 4yo and 6yo, as they're both in high pressure roles. Jean is 69 and has been retired from nursing for about 5 years and watched the kids 3 days a week before they began school.

However it seems it's all gone tits up today, SIL's mum has packed her bags and gone home after a disagreement with DB and SIL.
Apparently they aren't happy that she hasn't really been doing the home schooling stuff, despite forwarding her the teacher's emails every day. SIL said she would "sit on her phone in the living room while the kids watched TV."

They spoke to her today and said that it's very important the kids get their home work done and she needs to do the work with them. Long story short - Jean stropped off and went home. Now they're in a huge panic about it (the reason I know all this is that SIL rang and asked if I could spare a few days to look after the kids while they find a new solution, as I am furloughed).

AIBU to side with Jean on this one?
The poor woman worked her whole life, lost her husband in her 50's, when she did retire she went straight to doing childcare for free 3 days a week, went from retired solitude to suddenly living in a busy house with 2 energetic kids as a favour. They are 4 and 6, it's not like doing their GCSE's, DB and SIL seem to think that not doing cutting and sticking tasks assigned by the school will doom them to a life of stupidity. And, to me, when you ask such a huge favour you don't get to be picky about the details. If she wants to sit on her phone all day, as long as the children are distracted from bothering mummy and daddy then whats the problem?!

I said no to the childcare BTW. I have 2 of my own to look after and I can barely be bothered home schooling my 2 (it's also against the rulez innit)

Woo Jean!!

To be fair, she should have said no from the start. You either look after the kids properly, or you don’t do if.
Saying yes, and then neglecting the kid is not on.

I dare say she said yes to help out..
Hardly neglecting, she's their grandmother, not a teacher..

Teacher sends emails every day re a 4yr old & a 6yr old?

Wow!

Well I wouldn't particularly want them watching TV all day either, but I doubt that Jean was doing nothing with them all day?

Team Jean here. Poor woman. Good for her for leaving.

Please don’t encourage your relatives’ overblown sense of entitlement by stepping in.

Perhaps one or both need to speak to their bosses and explain they need a period of flexible working. Any good employer would expect and understand this.

I suspect your SIL just can’t be bothered to look after and teach her own children.

Well done OP for not getting caught as the next mug in the family.

A thankless job if ever there was one.

The lockdown is weeks in and they are only NOW aware.

Sounds like they are shit parents whom have been called out by the teacher and are now having a go at poor Jean.

Good on Jean for having some self respect and telling them to sling their hook.

They should have known weeks ago what was going on and NOT expect a woman of nearly 70 to automatically know.

It most certainly is not neglectful.

The children were safe and being watched.

Some parents do not have the luxury of supervision.

Lazy, CF's.

Why shouldn't they pop out and supervise the work for 5 minutes every hour or so and allocate tasks.

I sincerely hope Jean stands her ground.

Well done Jean !!!

Bloody well done Jean

neglecting the kid is not on

She's not feeding hem gruel and shoving them up chimneys, for heaven's sake! She just hasn't the energy to keep them to their school "work".

Children of that age are hard work - they can be cheeky and disobedient and the odds are that they act out their stress of being stuck at home (not blaming them - they're little, and it's what kids do).

Joan probably thought that keeping them quiet rather than having them arguing and squabbling all day and disturbing their parents at work was a better option than them having tantrums because they don't want to do something comparatively minor.

Okay - it's not ideal, but it's a damn sight better than the parents not being able to work because you have to look after their own kids.

I’m on team Jean!

I myself am working full time and doing zero homeschooling.

*Jean, not Joan -sorry

Good for you, Jean. Don't let them bully or guilt you.

I’m with Jean. It might be different if the children were several years older and desperately needed schooling. But to be honest, who says kids have to school between 9-5 Monday to Friday anyway? With kids that age I can’t see any reason why a 20 minute bed time story and some numeracy on the weekends wouldn’t be sufficient.

Although I’m gravitating towards Jean’s side, I would love to hear the other side.

For all we know, Jean has been a pain in the arse, expecting to be waited on hand a foot, failing to stop the kids running in during important calls - possibly after begging to come and stay as she’s lonely, and promising to do all the school work with the kids.

For all we know, Jean has been a pain in the arse, expecting to be waited on hand a foot, failing to stop the kids running in during important calls - possibly after begging to come and stay as she’s lonely, and promising to do all the school work with the kids

I doubt they'd want her back if that was the case.

She moved into their house, increasing her personal Covid risk and probably providing no end of domestic help, and they chose to criticise?

Ungrateful bastards. They're probably in shock you and Jean have told them to stuff it.

Maybe they'll be more grateful for Jean's input in their children lives while they climb the career ladder and ££ in. If they have to pay for similar hours and that level of in home childcare now they'll so wish they were more sympathetic to Jean's free care despite her nor following their preferred curriculum.
Well done Jean, too many take their parents retirement time up with their own childrens childcare. I often wonder if they will be prepared to offer the same service to their grandchildren when the time arises?

SIL rang and asked if I could spare a few days to look after the kids while they find a new solution, as I am furloughed

What did you reply?

Well, they've got their comeuppance. So entitled.

It reminds me of certain parents I have encountered who expect to palm off their entire load of parental responsibility onto someone else when they are providing childcare (yet often want to pay them a pittance).

i.e. expect their children to be looked after with kid gloves while also being fed excellent food, taught perfect manners, emotional intelligence and now keep up with their schooling!

Childcare = keeping your child safe and well and other reasonable accommodations.

Often these CF parents expect others to literally parent better than they do!

Be reasonable and expect a reasonable job from others. Poor Jean, I'm sure it was hard work watching two young children all day in retirement and yet the parents expect her to keep them up on all the schoolwork too!

Team Jean

The OP should warn her own mother that her son and daughter in law are probably going to try to guilt trip her into being the next no cost childcare and tutor. That sort of cheeky fuckery knows no boundaries.

I'm on team Jean.

They sound fun. Me and my my OH have busy "high powered" jobs (whatever that means) but we rearranged our schedules so we could tag team and care for and educate our own children during lockdown. And our children watch a fair bit of tv too... because... life. I'm so glad you stood up to them!

Team Jean.

If DB & SIL have always had family/childminders to look after the children while they do their "full on, high powered" jobs, they probably have very little understanding of how exhausting looking after their children can be when doing it 24/7... Guess they'll soon find out!

Please stick with jean it ill teach them a lesson . As you say the weren't happy with jean can't see it ending well with you lol