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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to be so confused about my body

53 replies

Knocksomesense · 08/06/2020 08:54

Here it is...

I'm 5ft 4. BMI is overweight. Waist to hip ratio is low risk.

Some days I feel an elephant, some days I feel slim.

So what is it?! My BMI isnt inflated by being muscular as I don't really do exercise.

What do you think my clothes size/weight/bmi is? I'm throwing it out to the public to try to gain clarity.

Please do excuse the messy bathroom, we had a leak

OP posts:

wowfudge · 08/06/2020 09:00

I'm the same height and have lost 20lbs so far this year. Lots of people said to me that I didn't look as though I needed to lose weight, but I had a fat face and stomach and had lost any prettiness, I felt. You're a pear shape. Clothing sizes are pretty meaningless because they vary from shop to shop. I'd say you average a 16 on the hips and a 14 on the top. Weight around 11 stone. BMI at the lower end of overweight - can't be bothered to work it out.

Original poster

Knocksomesense · 08/06/2020 09:08

The weight is about right. I'm 11st 3lbs but am a 12.on top and bottom. BMI is lower end of overweight.

OP posts:

Original poster

Knocksomesense · 08/06/2020 09:16

I feel a bit gross

OP posts:

wowfudge · 08/06/2020 09:22

If that's how you feel you can do something about it. I feel so much better about myself now, although I am still just in the overweight BMI band and want to lose more weight and get fitter. I can wear a size 12 dress if it isn't close fitting on the hips. My frame is petite - narrow shoulders, short waisted, small hands and my ring finger is an I when the average is something like an M. I look wrong carrying more weight.

Juanmorebeer · 08/06/2020 09:22

You are NOT gross OP. You have a lovely curvy figure. I would have said you are a 14 ish and I have a similar shape to you right now much shorter at 5ft 1 and I am 9 stone 10 which is also in the same overweight category but I'm trying.

I'm a 12 on top and 14 on bottom right now as I have always had massive hips. Do still have a defined waist though like you do.

Original poster

Knocksomesense · 08/06/2020 09:28

I'm currently fasting and reducing calories. My weight always seems to spring straight back up. I'm desperate for some new clothes but would love to be a size 10 before I invest

OP posts:

Heulog · 08/06/2020 09:30

I'm near enough the same body shape as you, 2inches taller and now 11st6, wear a size 12, but not very 'comfortably' anymore. Since probably March time (I comfort eat when stressed) when I sit down there is a bulge over my jeans which makes me feel gross. And I'm noticing it around my neck/jaw. I've never felt strongly about my weight/shape enough to diet, but some days im really unhappy with what I see in the mirror, so I probably should do something.

wowfudge · 08/06/2020 09:34

Weight training can make a significant difference to your shape OP. You don't have to spend hours doing it, but if you build lean muscle as well as losing weight you'll see a difference. Lots of exercises can be done using your bodyweight too.

Divebar · 08/06/2020 09:40

You have a perfectly lovely body - nice shape.( you don’t look remotely like a size 16... I would have said a 12) I think the exercise discussed is great for health and fitness and strength but please don’t loathe your body. Please don’t go through life with self loathing .... it’s such a waste of energy. Look for ways to feel good about yourself as you are now.

PumpkinPie2016 · 08/06/2020 09:43

I don't think you look gross at all. You have a nice, curvy figure.

However, I can absolutely sympathise with feeling fat. I am an inch or so shorter than you and was just in the overweight category. I felt awful constantly felt fat/sweaty and like my clothes were too tight.

I have been doing calorie counting (myfitnesspal) and sometimes 16:8 fasting - I can't survive without a cup of tea in the morning but I don't have sugar and only have skimmed milk anyway. I have lost 4.3kg in the last month (about 8.5lb) and feel so much better.

I know you say you don't really exercise - could you try to do some? I started running and honestly thought I'd never get into it but I have. Just start off walking and doing some short spells of jogging and build up. I started by thinking things like 'I'll just run to the next lamp post'. It sounds daft but it made it achievable.

Don't forget that some days, you may bloat because of your menstrual cycle/what you have eaten/how much water you have drunk etc.

ageingdisgracefully · 08/06/2020 09:44

You look about the same size and shape as I was. I've lost weight now but a muffin top has crept back on.

I felt ok but had a proper shock when I saw a photo. . I was a 14 on top and wearing stretchy leggings. I'm old, and was beginning to feel it, especially around the knees.

You look ok. You have a shape and no noticeable flabby bits.

I'd agree that weight training will help you feel stronger and more defined, if that's what you want.

VelvetSoft · 08/06/2020 09:44

You're a very similar size and shape to my sister (sadly not me, I'm taller and bigger all over). Dieting didn't do much for her, like you say she just fluctuates. She did the Joe Wicks 90 day plan, got fitter and more toned. She didn't lose a huge amount of weight but lost inches and felt better and happier in her skin.

CorianderLord · 08/06/2020 09:51

Probably just your body shape, it's similar to mine and you hold your weight a bit on your waist but mostly your bum, hips and legs.
models and even plus size models usually have a short, rounded or sloped waist to thigh. We have a long, undefined lower body. Apparently weight lifting can help but being honest I haven't tried.

YeahJackie · 08/06/2020 09:52

You have a beautiful body. Learn to love yourself no matter what you look or weigh. Stop weighing yourself, too.

borntohula · 08/06/2020 09:57

I would have said 14 but i guess it depends on where you shop. You have a really lovely shape btw! If you want to shift a bit of weight, take up some exercise (kettlebells, perhaps?), even just walking or cycling. If nothing else, exercise will help motivate you to eat healthily. I found MyFitnessPal really helpful. I was a similar size to you and have now been a comfortable size 10 for ages.

unicornparty · 08/06/2020 10:02

Op I'm the same height as you and weigh 11 stone, and wear a size 12. I'm a power lifter so have a lot of muscle. Assuming you want to change your body, try doing some strength training. Do you do any exercise? Apologies if I missed it, if you've already said.

zingally · 08/06/2020 10:03

You have a lovely figure! I'm 5"3 and am 11 stone 4 (weighed on Saturday). You carry it better than I do. The lightest I've ever been as an adult was 9 stone 4, but I had friends and family telling me I was looking too slim.

Pre-lockdown, I was about 10 stone 6, and am very aware I've put on weight. Mine all goes around my belly and thighs.

TBH though, I've just tried to embrace that, for the moment, this is the body I've got, and that excess weight will come off again in due course.

Poetryinaction · 08/06/2020 10:04

You have a lovely figure but just look a bit overweight. Where as I have a perfect BMI but flat boobs and a tummy. You look good.

Samtsirch · 08/06/2020 10:08

I think you look fine, but some good advice on here for if you want to tone up.
I am the same height as you, way slightly less but would like to lose a bit.
I find that how I feel about myself depends a lot on how bloated my stomach is.
If I have been eating foods that bloat me I feel like a whale all over, but if I eat lean protein and veggies for a few days and my stomach flattens then I feel a lot slimmer, even though the rest of my body hasn’t changed.

Skintalways · 08/06/2020 10:12

Unicorn you look fab, id love to be that strong and look as toned as you but I literally don't know where to start, the weights bit at the gym scares me 🤣

missperegrinespeculiar · 08/06/2020 10:15

Op, you look lovely!

You say you are fasting, which is a great health routine, so good for you, but you say you you also limit calories, that is less of a good idea, calorie restriction in the long run lowers your metabolism making a lot harder to lose the weight and even to keep a healthy weight, that's why people yo-yo, calorie restriction is unsustainable in the long run.

Just fast, eat healthy and exercise, you'll look even lovelier and feel healthier I think!

wowfudge · 08/06/2020 10:19

Skintalways there are lots of smaller gyms that specialise in small group weight training. You get a whole body workout and they have eating plans aimed at losing body fat and building lean muscle. They're not scary or male dominated. I've been doing zoom sessions since gyms were closed.

Skintalways · 08/06/2020 11:16

Thanks wowfudge, I think I would defo need the support of a small group but probably not feasible at moment due to redundancy. Just need to get fitter at moment and stop eating crap then hopefully some time in the future I can join up. Hopefully I won't be to old by then 😬

Home42 · 08/06/2020 11:32

I assume you are a 14, you look roughly the same size as me!

wowfudge · 08/06/2020 12:29

You're never too old Skintalways. I found it gave me a focus I could control during lockdown. All the best getting a new job you enjoy too.

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