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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If someone didn't post anything about BLM

144 replies

022828MAN · 07/06/2020 17:33

If someone you know didn't post anything on SM about BLM would you think that it was unreasonable or not?
I've recently had a disagreement about this but don't want to say just yet which person I am in the situation to get a clear picture.
So,

YABU - Yes it's completely unreasonable not to post about it

YANBU - No, not everything needs to be posted to social media

OP posts:
AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 07/06/2020 18:59

No, and I will tell you why.

Firstly, not everyone frequents social media. Its incredibly arrogant to assume that just because you spend loads of time on there that everyone does. Some people set up FB and then dont post for years.

  1. You have no idea what someone might be going through. It was the anniversary recently of the day one of my friend's lost her 5 year old child. She was overwhelmed with grief. I'm certainly NOT going to scold her for not posting on SM about BLM when she's sobbing her heart out for her dead child. At that moment, nothing else matters to her.
  1. I know for a fact that many people that are posting about it on SM are doing a big fat ZERO to help the cause in their actual community. They are armchair warriors who like to look like theyre doing something but in actual fact they do nothing. Conversely, I know of people who work tirelessly with charities to change society and their community for the better and support BLM but they either dont post much on SM or dont have accounts. What you post on SM is not necessarily indicative of your behaviour in real life.
  1. Some people simply dont know what to say. They are listening and taking it all in and they are trying to be better and to do the right thing. They dont need the approval of others to do that.
  1. Maybe they worked a long shift on that particular day, maybe they spent all day in the ICU caring for others, maybe they were away helping relatives on that day, maybe they were ill and spent the day in bed, maybe their kid got sick, maybe their elderly parents took ill etc etc Its ridiculous to assume that if someone isnt posting they are up to no good.
  1. If not posting about something means that you dont care about it then does that mean none of us care about animal cruelty or rape/sexual assault?- are we posting about those topics all the time? Even if you are, there are literally thousands of other important causes that you wont be posting about purely because it would take you all day to do it.
grassyhillocks · 07/06/2020 18:59

I rarely post anything on SM. When I do, I have to avoid all possible contentious issues, because of the job I do. Literally the only thing that might squeeze through the net is The Wildlife Trusts.

MeglaFlop · 07/06/2020 19:01

Not everyone feels the need to broadcast to the uncaring world what they think will make them look best.

Witchend · 07/06/2020 19:04

I rarely post anything on SM, when I do it tends to be something funny that's happened or something we've done. I almost never would post about an issue of any description. I can't imagine anyone would notice that I haven't specifically any one time.

However I do have friends that will post on every issue that comes up. Sometimes it's clear that they haven't really thought it through and are just parroting what they've heard on SM which isn't necessarily correct.
If I noticed they hadn't posted on a current issue then I guess I probably would assume they had thought about it and disagreed with it. However the chance of me noticing is almost zero.

BolloxtoGender · 07/06/2020 19:04

Yanbu. Noth8ng more hypocritical than those who virtue signal and performatively post for attention rather than doing the right thing and not feel the need to say anything. It’s transparent, it’s about them being seen to be making the right noises, it’s self centred and attention seeking. Also hate this if you remain silent, you are a racist argument.

SeriouslySoDoneIn · 07/06/2020 19:06

Politics has no place on my social media. Strictly a platform for me to communicate with family and post the occasional pic of DC. I’ll happily get involved in a discussion face to face with someone about it but Facebook is not the place for airing views in my experience.

MerryDeath · 07/06/2020 19:06

i have SM but i never post anything. so i haven't posted anything as i would consider that performative. i have liked posts, i have also had a row with some idiots on a local group. and i've donated.

AnnaSW1 · 07/06/2020 19:11

No

MayFayre · 07/06/2020 19:17

The only thing I post on social media are photos of flowers

Gizlotsmum · 07/06/2020 19:20

I've not posted anything. Not because I don't care or think it matters but my social media is private and my friends all share my way. I am also no where near educated enough on the subject (am changing this) but anything I post would be virtue posting, not making a difference.

AlecTrevelyan006 · 07/06/2020 19:25

i never post anything on FB that is either political or about my work (especially as there is a slight cross over between the two).

Just not worth the hassle.

Gwenhwyfar · 07/06/2020 19:26

I'm not going to post anything because I've seen the flack that white people get for posting on this. Told off for having the black profile photo and for using the blacklivesmatter hashtag.

Fruitsaladjelly · 07/06/2020 19:31

It’s mostly virtue signalling and completely empty. Most people doing it have no idea of what they are championing in reality.

Thinkingabout1t · 07/06/2020 19:33

so-called 'friend' accusing my 'silence as compliance' (along with some really personal vile attacks), despite her not having a clue what I've been doing being closed doors.

What a mindless, virtue-signalling moron. Definitely not worth having as a friend -- you're well rid.

Binterested · 07/06/2020 19:38

We ought to live in a society where your thoughts are your own and you do not have to show evidence of your correct thinking on the say so of others.

When PornHub posts their allegiance to Black Lives Matter for woke credentials, the performative nature of a huge amount of what’s on social media becomes clear.

tara66 · 07/06/2020 19:50

Are you aware that some people never see or use SM?

redcarbluecar · 07/06/2020 19:56

I think some people believe that posting on social media is a form of activism, when a lot of it is just empty posturing. We can use our social media platform in any way we like and should be able to do so without meaningless pressure from others. I haven’t posted anything about BLM but will privately try to educate myself on the issues a bit more.

scheffsm · 07/06/2020 20:05

YANBU
It's the latest virtue-signalling.
The clap for carers is slowly dying out so people need the next thing to prove what good, upstanding citizens they are.
It's easy to post something about BLM on SM and do absolutely fuck all else about it. Look at me - I care about black people.
Look at me, I'm on my doorstep clapping for carers - I'm a good person. You're not because you weren't clapping and you're obviously racist because you haven't posted some re-posted stuff about BLM.

All this bullying of other people has to stop.

If people want to post things like that on facebook that's up to them but if others don't want to they should not be made to feel guilty.

heartsonacake · 07/06/2020 20:07

I didn’t post anything on social media. I also won’t discuss my views on the subject with anyone, because similarly with politics, they’re my private views and I don’t need to share them.

Gercha · 07/06/2020 20:08

The main coverage of the BLM 'protests' that I have seen, and I shared, on my SM is the footage of the bike being thrown at the Police horse. Utterly disgusting behaviour by what looked like a rent-a-mob, no donations from me.

wolfmom · 07/06/2020 20:08

I post, I share petitions, I share stories. Some of my friends don't post, I don't know if they do anything privately, but, it's their business. The only ones i have issue with are the ones trying to silence political posts with posts like "the next time someone posts a political view I'll block them" or people posting racist content and hate speech

Thinkingabout1t · 07/06/2020 20:15

When PornHub posts their allegiance to Black Lives Matter for woke credentials

Now I've heard everything ...

UnaCorda · 07/06/2020 20:16

How ridiculous. If someone who isn't of BAME origin themselves posted about BLM without having a specific point to make I'd personally be inclined to view it as virtue-signalling (but that may be unfair as I am a bit of a cynic).

Jux · 07/06/2020 20:18

I don't post on SM about things which really concern me; I keep the serious stuff for actual conversations or, at worst, DMs with actual friends - people I know in RL. I don't need the world and its uncle to know anything more about me than they do already.

Russellbrandshair · 07/06/2020 20:19

No of course not. Most of it empty posturing on FB for attention and praise. I know lots of people who do nothing in their community yet post about how woke they are all the time. I see them and I see their real behaviour and it ain’t good.

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