Stopping spending money?

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Ds is 14, he gets £20 per week spending money, he has to manage the dishwasher at the weekends, put his clean clothes away, keep his bedroom tidy.
It’s a fight every time I ask him to do the above, so stressful. I’ve just told him he has to keep his bedroom tidy and forget the rest, but he won’t get any spending money.

I don’t ask my Ds (13) to do jobs for his pocket money though he doesn’t get any in lockdown- I pick him up anything he needs from the shops.

He is expected to help as part of the family. He mostly feeds pet, takes rubbish and recycling out, sorts underwear and leaves mine on bed puts his away - however I don’t think any job he does he should never see me do - he does random things on asking - puts washer on - hoovers, washes dishes .. he sometimes cook, if they only do the same job how is that teaching them a skill. If during lockdown he is busy doing school work I do it.

My kids are 7 and 4 and they bring their laundry downstairs, put their clean clothes away, the 7 year old sometimes even helps folding it. They also tidy up their rooms (need reminding) and put the recycling out. They both know where to put the food waste and put their plates in the dishwasher. No pocket money, as this is just a very small contribution for all the mess they help making :)

" help out when I ask AND Offers to help when .."

Sometimes teens needs to be told as they cannot perfectly read ques each time perfectly as they are not adults yet ( even some adults are still learning). They are at the learning stage. As you keep telling them, it will sink it and they will automatically do it the next time around. Just because you needed to point it out to them for the first few times doesn't turn them into male chauvinistic pigs when they grow up.

Teens/ kids becomes calculative when they see their parents being calculative with them too.

Them not having to complete a list of chores for many years before going off to uni doesn't mean they won't be able to look after themselves. they can be trained within a few months beforehand easily. How hard is it to learn laundry, cooking basic meals and general house cleaning? My 13 year old knows all that btw. Just pointing out that there's really no need to enforce it for pocket money.

I never lifted a finger at home as a child/teenager and survived fine in uni and after. Isnt that what uni is for? I remember falling out with my mum because of laundry. Some kids are not easy - my mum would stop doing laundry, I'd retaliate by throwing out my clothes or simply not speaking to her or hunger strike etc.

I'd take the money away.

got to add..at least for me, the idea here is to instill the fact that as a family, we work as a unit. We support each other, be it housework or other areas ( for example: if I am WFH and too busy to make lunch, my eldest child will automatically make a sandwich for himself and for his sibling. Likewise, if they are trying to complete an assignment and needs time to work, I will work around that) . That attitude will carry more weight in marriages, friendships and workplaces rather than just the ability to complete task for money.

Being taught to be calculative with family members from a young age, will make them be calculative with their future spouse as well. That is why there's always an issue of " he is suppose to pay 50% of the utility bill" or " She is expected to cook the dinner on the days I cook lunch".. I mean..seriously???

Just an idea that could be useful to others ( hopefully haha )

I have never linked pocket money to chores because I don't think that kids should get paid for what comes with being part of a family, they have always been expected to help out in an age appropriate way. DD is often at school 7am-7pm with various extra activities (school is back to close to normal here in Aus) and works hard but clearing the table takes 5 minutes so it's hardly a big ask and she is lucky enough to have her own bathroom so it's reasonable that she cleans it - if I had a cleaner that might be different. She is not expected to work outside the home so we pay for everything, if she turned up her nose at emptying the dishwasher I would be less than impressed.